Go The F**k To Sleep: Funny or Offensive?
Saturday, June 18, 2011 
Last weekend when we were shopping at Chapters, the book "Go The F**k To Sleep" by Adam Mansbach caught my eye. I hadn't heard about it until that moment and I was curious what it was all about. I picked it up and leafed through it, giggling a bit at some of the bedtime scenarios that were all too familiar. If you haven't seen the book yet, you can watch this video of it being read by Samuel L. Jackson (the story starts at about 1:00 if you want to skip the intro).
[Edited to add: VIDEO NO LONGER AVAILABLE]
All parents have been there, right? We've all had those times when we wished, for once, that our baby, toddler or older child would just go to sleep already. We've all had those evenings where we are desperate for some alone time, where we have something we need to do after the kids are in bed, or where we are just EXHAUSTED and want to go to sleep ourselves.
Everyone has thought it at one time or another, with or without the profanity. So I giggled, because I've been there, just like you have. However, it left me feeling a bit uneasy.
I work in a city and I like to walk on my lunch hour. Sometimes I walk along busy sidewalks. Sometimes I walk in the mall. Sometimes I cut through stores. When I am walking, my goal is to keep moving at a decent pace. Inevitably, I will end up stuck behind people who are not walking as fast as I am and who do not get out of my way. Some of those people are clueless, i.e. they are chatting with their friend and are completely oblivious to the fact that I want to pass them. Some people notice that I want to pass and just can't be bothered getting out of the way. But there are also people who are in my way because they are in a wheelchair or using a walker, because they are elderly, because they are obese, because they have one of those huge strollers, or simply because their legs are shorter than mine.
So, I could probably write a book called "Get the F**k Out of My Way." Maybe it would be funny when relating it to the scenarios where some jerk just can't be bothered getting out of my way. Perhaps it would even be funny when talking about the people who are just clueless that I'm trying to pass them. But would it be funny if I was directing my "Get the F**k Out of My Way" to someone who is disabled, obese, elderly or vertically challenged? Not really.
Through the eyes of parents alone, "Go the F**k to Sleep" may be funny, just as "Get the F**k Out of My Way" would be funny if you were considering only my view point and not the viewpoint or limitations of those I was directing it at. In most cases, I don't think our children are staying awake at night specifically to annoy us. Perhaps there may be the odd occasion where an older child is purposely trying to disrupt the parents' plans, but for the most part, I don't think that a non-sleeping child realizes that they are ruining your evening or keeping you from sleeping. They are thinking that they want to cuddle with you, that they are not tired, that they are thirsty, that they are scared, that they are lonely, or that they just don't want to sleep.
Some of those are needs, others are wants, but none of them are maliciously intended actions that deserve a response such as "Go The F**k To Sleep," even if we are sometimes thinking that on the inside.
So yes, I giggled a bit, but I didn't feel great about it and I wouldn't say that I endorse the book's message any more than I would endorse a comedian who made inappropriate jokes.
"Please stay to the right."
"Please close your eyes."
Those are, I think, more reasonable requests, even for our inside voices, than "[blank] the f**k [anything]." Both for our own sanity and frame of mind and out of respect for the person those words and thoughts are directed at, even when they are annoying us.
Reader Comments (214)
I thought it was pretty funny, even though we don't really try to get our daughter to go to sleep at any certain time. (She sleeps when she decides to sleep, even if it's not until 2 a.m.) I guess I just mainly enjoyed the juxtaposition of the familiar kids book style with the F word, heh.
I vote funny.
In light of some of the comments that say 'i'd never say that to my kids', I have to admit that the main reason I found it funny is that I have sung the same words in lullaby form to my awesome, non-manipulative, eight-long-years-fought-for, ten month old daughter.
I have sleepily sung to her that there is no good reason for her to fight sleep by arching her back in my arms, nor pop-off every five seconds after a sip to sleep crawl around the bed between my husband and I... 'you're not going to miss anything!' I whisper-sing to her often. She's not manipulating me, I know that, but my emotions are frazzled by that point nonetheless, and I do find that my emotional state is soothed by making myself giggle a bit by saying something terrible that she can't understand yet in a soothing, loving (if off key) voice.
Maybe this makes me a horrible parent (so the line about being a terrible parent is even more funny to me), but I do it, and I don't love her any less for it. She just doesn't quite know how to go to sleep easily all the time - that's all. I know that, and I am happy to help her learn, but sometimes...oh my...I just want her to go the eff to sleep already!
So maybe some will think I am a bad parent, but oh well. She's sleeping now, and it only took about 10 minutes, without my swearing this time :-)
I can see why some are made uneasy, but I think when it's approached from a loving, silly perspective, it makes more sense. I don't dislike my baby because she won't sleep sometimes, I don't think she's trying to control me, and I am not trying to control her with sleep either - I know she needs it and I am trying to make sure she gets it, even if she doesn't (or can't yet) understand that.
I'm also pretty sure I ramble in comments when I haven't had enough sleep...
really love your comment! and so appreciate this conversation!
Isn't this book for parents and not children? I think as long as it's just for the entertainment of parents, there's nothing wrong with it. I've certainly thought, "Go the f@#k to sleep" about my toddler, and have even said, "For christsakes just go to sleep!" Not my most proud parenting moment, but sometimes we get exasperated with our loved ones. I'm not threatening her with violence (or anything really), it's more like begging (again, not proud of that).
I think it's pretty funny, but also, I thought it was a parody of children's books more than anything. I mean, kids books about sleep are always the same, the same sickeningly sweet ridiculous peer pressure examples (the lions are sleeping, now it's your turn kiddo!), and parents say offensive things about their kids out loud all the time (although usually not the Sophie's Choice sort, I would say), so I thought this was making fun of parental culture. I (almost) always love things that make fun of other things.
Precisely my point about saying to my child, "Go the fuck to sleep," while laughing at his antics. You aren't a bad parent. We can josh around with our kids. And their hilarious antics are also mildly maddening (and vice versa).
Thanks; I appreciate your response.
Perhaps the difference for those of us who don't find it offensive is that thinking these things (or even muttering them to ourselves) actually releases the anger instead of fueling it.
No problem with looks! I'll probably get them when my son decides he likes a pretty pink T-shirt, or tells his friends in kindergarten that there's no Santa Claus (we may actually work on that one--not out to hurt anyone's feelngs), or explains sex to his seven-year-old pals. Just because the rest of society feels that something is bad or that a certain gender, moral, or mythological standard must be enforced, that doesn't mean that I have to enforce it in my relationship with my kid. And yeah, I'm probably going to regret that in a few areas, but I feel strongly that I should live my life honestly in front of my kid, not candy-coat it so that he "fits in" with what other children's parents have laid on them. That include using all elements of my language that I feel are expressive.
Sorry--off-topic, I know, and also idealistic, but at the moment, that's where we are on the swearing issue.
Melissa:
We work on balance when it comes to things like that. Room to be yourself, while also understanding the need to respect others. Neither is easy, both are important.
I thought it was hilarious. I actually think there's nothing at all wrong about this book. My son goes to sleep whenever he chooses...sometimes it's 8pm, sometimes it's 5am. And, there are times when my internal monologue might go a LOT like this book...particularly when he was younger and we were still struggling about what to do about 'bedtime'.
It's a book meant for adults.
And, the parenting demonstrated in the book is beautiful. (if I'm remembering correctly; I only peaked at in the bookstore)
I think this book is an excellent way to illustrate that although we might parent with a strong emphasis on attachment, respect, and empathy, we are still only human. Children require a lot of attention from us, and it's only natural to wish that they would go to sleep already. lol.
I'm surprised to see anyone disappointed with this book.
As one of the folks in the "it's hilarious" camp, the overall sociological message isn't lost on me. I realize discomfort comes from "what are we telling parents about their children" in this book? First, this book is a work of art, as all books are, and censorship is more horrifying than the "f-word" in my opinion. This book has gained popularity because it speaks to parents in a way that no other media (as far as I know) has. Any misconceptions about children manipulating, or purposely causing grief, or being responsible for adults swearing is not relevant, nor is it the responsibility of this book.
As an advocate for the rights of children and their parents, I recognize this piece as addressing the elephant in the room in order to process it and move on. American parents are displaying a symptomology that needs to be addressed: we are frustrated and pissed off at how we are expected to get our children to sleep. This might be a step in the direction of more advocacy and support for bed-sharing and co-sleeping. The book isn't a problem, it's a (hilarious) symptom of a problem and humor breaks the ice.
The only reason the book is popular is because it's crude and vulgar, and our culture celebrates the crude and vulgar. It also seems to be a positive reinforcement of the selfishness that runs rampant in our society. Gee, I'm sorry you can't go off and do what you want, because your kid won't go to sleep.
You know what? Your kid didn't ask to be born. When he's pestering you for another glass of water or jumping on you in bed, that's the only way he knows to tell you that he needs something from you. Our children need our love and compassion, and to think that such dark thoughts are running through parents' minds is more than a little disturbing. It's not a celebration or affirmation of anything constructive.
I know, I know, if you don't like it don't read it. That's the knee-jerk comeback. Here's the thing. I acknowledge that the author has every right to publish his book. But I also think that in the name of civility, consumers have a responsibility to reject it. Embracing it as something wonderful only adds to the prevailing attitude in our culture that debasing everything beautiful and sacred is OK.
oh yeah. that's right. I only like it because it's crude and vulgar. Not only am I a bad parent, I'm a bad person for liking the book.
Think of the Children!!!
I appreciate your taking a civil discourse on the positive and negative aspects of this book, how it can make us all examine ourselves as parents and why we might find it funny, offensive, unsettling, uneasy, hilarious, or neutral and turning it into a 'anyone who likes this is awful and this is the indicator of everything that I think is wrong with society'. way to go!
This isn't a how-to book put out by professionals. It's entertainment. No one believes their child is manipulating them. We all understand how it works (you made them, your responsibility, you will sacrifice), but even the most forgiving, patient parent gets annoyed with their child.
Sorry these thoughts disturb you, but I think you're a lucky minority who doesn't think them.
I think "no one believes their child is manipulating them" is a huge exaggeration. Plenty of parents do believe that and there are entire child-rearing strategies built around that.
What age child are we talking about here? My kid (3 years old) manipulates me. He's learning reasoning skills and figuring out what is a good reason and what isn't - he knows if he can come up with a good enough reason for whatever it is he desires, or he can strike a deal, or whatever, he'll get what he wants.
That's manipulation, right? I mean, sometimes he outright makes stuff up. Yes, I know, "experimental lies." Normal. But still...Am I missing something?
That said, I think it's normal and healthy and my kid isn't "bad" and I encourage the reasoning and respect the feelings and all that wonderful AP jazz.
But I'd still say he's manipulating me.
On the surface, I think it's funny. I've been there, done that. In fact, I'm currently going through it. So I get how frustrating, irritating, etc. it can be, but it does make me uncomfortable.
The reason it makes me uncomfortable is because I grew up in a neighborhood where the parents didn't just say it in their head. It was outloud to the child in a voice loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. That and other extremely insulting things said directly to the child about him/herself. I am uncomfortable because this books makes light/funny of actually thinking about your child in such ways. Yes, I've thought things (and occassionally said) I'm not proud of in regards to my child when I've been frustrated, impatient, etc., but I don't want to make light of it or think it's okay. I want to move on and do better next time.
I realize for many, this is just a way to laugh at one's self as a parent and the frustrations we have to deal with, but for me I have seen to many demoralized children because their parents spoke/thought of them in this way.
What's interesting to me is how much the book has resonated with people. It was sold out in Amazon before it was even released. Everyone I know is talking about it. Tt's supposed to be a joke, as many others out there. We could be offended by most things in the world, depending on how we choose to interpret them.
I don't think the authors could have predicted how much people would relate. The book's success makes me feel less alone in my frustrations when my baby won't go to sleep. Everyone is dealing with this. I was beginning to think I was one of the few with a baby that enjoyed life so much that we had trouble putting her down. The fact that so MANY people are relating to this book just shows how Ferber and Weissbluth (and friends) haven't actually solved that many sleep problems. If you believe their books, by 6 months kids should be sleeping through the night and gently soothing themselves to sleep (after the initial CIO, of course). And sometimes it began to feel like everyone else had perfect sleepers. This books success proves that things aren't perfect all around, and we all struggle.
And that's a big part of the books appeal. This collective release of frustration, not at our kids, but at society's expectations of how easily they *should* be going to sleep. To me it didn't feel like the attack was at the child, but rather at how we've all been conned into thinking that if we just read the kid a book, they will drift to dreamland. And we all know that's not true, though people don't want to admit it to others. This book puts it all out in the open.
I worry about "bad parents" getting hold of this book and it inflaming their annoyance with their toddler's behaviors. The third-leading cause of death in children five or under in the United States is homicide.
This is from the Juvenile Justice Bulletin, Oct 2001: "Most homicides of young children are committed by family members through beatings or suffocation. Although victims include approximately equal numbers of boys and girls, offenders include a disproportionate number of women. Homicides of young children may be seriously undercounted."
From Merck Online: "Physically mistreating or harming a child, including inflicting excessive physical punishment, is physical abuse. Children of any age may be physically abused, but infants and toddlers are particularly vulnerable. Physical abuse is the most common cause of serious head injury in infants. In toddlers, physical abuse is more likely to result in abdominal injuries, which may be fatal. Physical abuse (including homicide) is among the 10 leading causes of death in children. Generally, a child's risk of physical abuse decreases during the early school years and increases during adolescence.
"More than three fourths of perpetrators of abuse are the child's parents. Children who are born in poverty to a young, single parent are at highest risk. Family stress contributes to physical abuse. Stress may result from unemployment, frequent moves to another home, social isolation from friends or family members, or ongoing family violence. Children who are difficult (irritable, demanding, or hyperactive) or who have special needs (developmental or physical disabilities) may be more likely to be physically abused. Physical abuse is often triggered by a crisis in the midst of other stresses. A crisis may be a loss of a job, a death in the family, or a discipline problem."
Good point Cassie.
Brea:
Does your partner ever use reasoning or strike deals to get what he wants? Is that manipulative or is it just normal give and take in human relationships?
I do think there is a difference between a baby who clearly has strong physical and emotional needs (which people often characterize as manipulation) and a three year old who wants to read another book, but I wouldn't call either one manipulative.
Apparently a "kid friendly" version of the book is coming out (i.e. without the profanity, but with the same message).
http://gothamist.com/2011/06/17/kid-friendly_version_of_go_the_fck.php
How do you all feel about that?
A big part of the enjoyment of it for me is the taboo-breaking juxtaposition of the F-word in a child's book context. So that one would be boring to me. I also don't try to protect my kids' ears from ever hearing certain words. What I teach them is that it's wrong to say mean things, with or without taboo words ("F**k you", but also "I hate you" or "you're ugly"). By the same token, I don't have a problem with their using such words in a sympathetic way ("Wow, I'm sorry to hear that--that's really f**ked up that he treated you that way") or just as exclamations ("Sh*t, that pizza was so f**king hot I've got a flap of skin hanging down from the roof of my mouth!").
If it is without the ANGER found in the profanity blasts, that would be better. But "with the same message?" What message? That a child is in a heap of trouble for not going to sleep?
I vote funny.
We need a release. We need to know we're not alone. But most of all, sometimes we just need to laugh.
Meh. I thought it was meh & I didn't finish it. (the video clip you have posted is not available any longer, BTW - I was able to d/l & listen to the audio only on amazon)
When I first read it - maybe it was a month ago, I can't remember.... I tweeted it. Then, I remember immediately feeling badly about tweeting it - feeling like I was endorsing the idea of saying "go the ___ to sleep!" to your kids. People responded to me saying, it was awesome, and they were going to get it for every new parent they knew... and I remember recoiling at that thought. I wouldn't want all new parents to believe that bedtime is always a struggle! Of course, I remember back to my own days of struggling through some really long, tough bedtime nights. On one hand WANTING to yell something like that, yet on the other hand, finding extreme comfort in "this too shall pass".
The thing is, I think there are personalities which are anger diffusing, and those which are anger increasing. I'm one of the increasers. Harboring negativity & anger in my mind or saying it out loud only increases my level of agitation & anger. Cursing or yelling or feeling badly doesn't release or diffuse; it simmers. I can see how this book might help someone who feels a release when they say or think "grumpiness" (as my kids call it). But for me, this only makes me feel grumpier. I prefer to focus on the positive; believing simply that what we are is what we believe we are.
In otherwords, if you believe bedtime will be or is a struggle, or a waste of your own time, it will be. If you can get to a place of seeing bedtime - even the longest most drawn-out bedtime - as a time to settle and relax and reconnect with your children, that is what it will be. And I much prefer spending most of my time in a place of positivity than negativity - within my mind as well as without.
Thought-provoking post & comments.
HA! You made me laugh, Alan. And thanks for articulating what I've been trying to think about RE: language and my kid. Good stuff.
Yeah, the story would be boring without the F-bomb, frankly.
Whilst I can see it could be possible to take offence at this book I think it is the author's vehicle to express, in a humorous way, the sheer frustration we parents sometimes go through with our children. Whilst we treasure our children dearly, sometimes parenting isn't easy and in our sleep deprived moments it is indeed very challenging.
Thanks, Melissa! :)
This is not the same as making fun of people for walking slowly or mocking someone with a disability for one simple reason: We were all children once.
Twenty-five or so years ago, my mother and father were going crazy trying to get me to go the f*ck to sleep. In all likelihood, my now-infant son will someday struggle to get his own children to sleep. It is a rite of passage for parents of infants, timeless and true. Similar to a mother telling her teenage daughter, "I hope you have a daughter just like you." The cycle goes on and on. We were all babies once ourselves, frustrating our parents.
As a former-child, I take no offense at this book at all. For what its worth though, I also don't think it's all that funny.
Honestly? I find the book to be pretty comforting in a way. The author is expressing his frustration at having to sit in his kid's room, fulfill endless ridiculous, stalling requests, and he eventually falls asleep in the room with the kid. Does he leave the kid to cry himself to sleep? Nope, he sits there, grudgingly, thinking all sorts of hideous things in his head, yet he is there for his kid because his kid needs him. My husband and I just sat, listened, and laughed our heads off.
I've been there. I want to spend time with my husband (we worked opposite shifts so one of us was home with the kids all the time, which resulted in us having a grand total of a half hour a night together after we got the kids to sleep), and one or the other of my kids just would. not. go. to. sleep. It's mind-poppingly frustrating (for me), it's a little boring.
It's humor. I happen to find it hilarious. It echos the stuff I think in my head and don't ever get to say out loud. Maybe that makes me uncouth or unenlightened or unsomething, but good humor is whatever makes me laugh and gets me through the day.
I just find it not that funny. The first page, yes, somewhat. From then on it's the same joke over and over again. Reminds me of SNL in the last few years. Boring! Yawn ...
I am a pediatrician with a specialty in child abuse pediatrics. I am also mom of two sets of twins - and have certainly faced sleep issues! I laughed at the title at first, but am unsettled at the implications of this language related to parental perception and stress management. I'm an open minded lady with a sense of humor - but this crossed the line for me.
Dr. Jen
http://www.playthisway.com
http://www.twitter.com/PLAYTHISWAY
[...] Take, for example, two blog posts about the book by bloggers that I follow. One of the bloggers wrote that while she laughed a bit, deep down she didn’t feel comfortable with the book. She gently reminded her readers that while it is frustrating when a child asks for another bedtime story or another glass of water or another trip to the bathroom, they aren’t intentionally trying to mess up our evening. They aren’t aware that we are tired or busy or distracted, and they aren’t trying to manipulate us. I appreciated her perspective, and when my daughter gave me a rough time last night, I was glad I had read her post. [...]
Huh, that's an interesting way to look at it. While I can get a chuckle out of it, I received it from a friend who has a newborn -- and I chose not to pass it on either, even to others that KNOW and share my feelings about nighttime parenting.
Dr. Jen,
Hooray for your comment. I know the homeless in Sacramento and have to say that there, and among other impoverished Sacramentans, you will find cases of terrible parenting. Today, in our local paper, a front page article is about a mom who killed her baby by roasting him in the microwave. Parents get stressed and project their anger toward others close to them. Many parents who "don't have it together" abuse their children as a projection of their anger. This book, GTFTS, adds to a sense of permission to 'blame the kids' for noise, or money problems, or the limitations a child can "impose" on a parent's life. It's a uniquely horrible book that is likely to be in the chain of events that brings misery to many toddlers. The book is not literature; it should not be in public libraries -- for one thing. The Sacramento Public Library has just ordered ten copies of the book, and I think that is terrible.
Tom, who gets to decide what literature is? You?
Sorry, but as a writer, this attitude bothers me enormously. "I don't agree, so it should not be availalbe/should never have been written/ should not be in the library."
Censorship is more damanging to society than any one book ever could be -- I believe that with all of my heart and soul.
If a library can (and honestly should) have copies of "Mein Kampf", why not this? Surely Hitler is a hell of a lot worse.
It's not a book I'd choose to spend library money on, because it's a novelty book, but I also don't have an issue with some library stocking it in the adult part of the library under satire.
Cin,
I'm not "deciding" what literature is, but my guess is that GTFTS isn't literature any more than it's a tuna sandwich. And I didn't mean to suggest that much that is not literature shouldn't be in public libraries. But GTFTS is an interesting extreme case, if, as I believe to be the case, it likely will bring misery to some toddlers.
NOT having the book in the Sac County Pub Library does not exempt it from being borrowed. The library's LINX system allows for that: It can be borrowed AT SPL from another library. So, nothing is being censored.
But the library DOES not buy some books that are popular. As a matter of choice, the library doesn't buy every Brittany Spears bio that is out there. And it does have a policy of buying far fewer celebrity-gossip books than had been the policy.
I think GTFTS is a book the Sacramento Public Library could do without. But certainly, it could use less than the TEN it has ordered. For one thing, the current rage for the book will dissipate. And for another thing, our poor county has slashed the budget for police and elsewhere. This is no time for buying this mean-spirited one-joke book.
[...] Take, for example, two blog posts about the book by bloggers that I follow. One of the bloggers wrote that while she laughed a bit, deep down she didn’t feel comfortable with the book. She gently reminded her readers that while it is frustrating when a child asks for another bedtime story or another glass of water or another trip to the bathroom, they aren’t intentionally trying to mess up our evening. They aren’t aware that we are tired or busy or distracted, and they aren’t trying to manipulate us. I appreciated her perspective, and when my daughter gave me a rough time last night, I was glad I had read her post. [...]
I think you have written something so beautiful that speaks to the tone of of culture. I appreciate that you considered the view point of a handicapped person and their limitations and compared that to a child who does not go to sleep. I agree that our children do not stay awake on purpose. They are in need of something...even if it's just a little extra love and attention.
As a special education teacher to emotionally disabled children, your words have such meaning, understanding and love. I see many children treated with such ill-regard and cruelty.
I think there is a problem in our society with simple lack of kindness. It bothers me when people callously disrespect one another or show no empathy.
Thank you insight and for the beautiful example you set. I will be stopping by again!
Hi Annie, thank you for this post. I did think the book was funny (and incredibly timely in our house), but I appreciate your perspective. Sometimes its good to get a reminder that our children aren't intentionally trying to ruin our evening, even after their 47th glass of water (and the corresponding 47th trip to the bathroom). Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Annie, I think this is the first time I have ever disagreed with you.
I just loved that book. And it was sent my way by attachment-parenting folks who parent their kids to sleep with great respect and devotion. And we all found it funny.
I have a rant against people who slow me down at the pharmacy, selfishly talking to the pharmacist as if they were at a private dinner with their best friend while the line gets longer and longer. And I fully agree that my rant is not funny, is even disrespectful, and I don't tend to share it publicly. The difference is that I don't take care of the people who slow me down at the pharmacy. I don't know their circumstances.
I do, however, put my son to sleep every night, without ever skipping a night, whether it takes two minutes or three and a half hours. I do it sometimes with exasperation, most times with tenderness and affection.
And I think that gives me the right to laugh at the situation. I understand your discomfort and am aware that it's a tricky balance. Kids get immensely frustrated at very minor things, and I try to be careful not to mock my toddler's desperation over his bowl of rice being empty, or the banana not being peeled the right way. It's important to be considerate towards a child's emotional state of development (the banana not being peeled the right way IS a serious problems for my son and causes him intense suffering).
When I laugh at the Go the f--- to sleep story, though, it's not my child I'm laughing at. It's my own impatience and exasperation, and the vast array of situations I go through when I put my toddler to sleep. I also laugh with relief, knowing that I am not alone and that my child's sleep challenges might not be a consequence of my poor parenting skills, after all.
Also, and that might play a part: English is not my first language, so the f word doesn't sound offensive to me. I have learned not to use it (I don't in this post), but this avoidance feels contrived and precious to me. So maybe I don't get the intensity of the insult.
Thank you for this link to lullabies. The one I sing the most was sung to me by my mother. It is about Jesus not going to sleep and Mary crying as she tries to put him down and Jesus taking pity on her and finally falling asleep. I do remember, as a very young child, trying to fall asleep before Jesus, as my mom was singing the song to me (and not always succeeding). Now my son sings it either with me or to himself when it's time to go to sleep. And he rarely falls asleep by the end of the song.
Just saw this CNN article. You aren't alone.
http://edition.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/06/27/zacharias.kid.book/
I'm a bit late to the party! I think this discussion of manipulation is really interesting. It seems to me we need to agree on the meaning of the word "manipulate" because people seem to be using it differently. According to the dictionary.com it means "to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skilfully, or deviously ". So, it has a negative connotation, the intended outcome is to achieve something which is to the other person's detriment, and the manipulator is aware of this. Brea's 3 year old is not "manipulating" according to this definition.
And the Globe and Mail picked up on it too -- and Annie, you got a mention! ;-) (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/does-go-the-f-to-sleep-deserve-the-backlash/article2079963/). I have to say, I think I'm with "Away from your crazy mom" who puts it perfectly: "When I laugh at the Go the f— to sleep story, though, it’s not my child I’m laughing at. It’s my own impatience and exasperation, and the vast array of situations I go through when I put my toddler to sleep. I also laugh with relief, knowing that I am not alone and that my child’s sleep challenges might not be a consequence of my poor parenting skills, after all." :)
Thanks for letting me know, Anemone.
[...] PhD in Parenting [...]
I think there's a huge difference in your comparisons. We know our children, intricately. We spend day after day with them, in many cases. We go try to put them to sleep night after night after night. That speaks to a whole different level of familiarity, comfort, love and consequently frustration than walking behind an elderly person with a cane for 5 minutes. I think the reason I didn't find this book offensive is because (1) it was surely never meant to be said aloud to children, purely to commiserate with adults, and (2) my finding this book funny has nothing to do with the way that I actually treat my child. I will still nurse her to sleep and tell her stories and speak in a calm but firm manner and it will not resemble anything like what the book parent actually says, though my internal dialogue might have similar wording. I think the book is a great gag gift for new parents. I'm happy it exists. I don't need to own it.
p.s. There is a facebook group called "I secretly want to punch slow walking people in the back of the head".
For English not being your first language, you said that beautifully. I wholeheartedly agree with you.