Friday
Sep122008
Is Palin running for VP to punish her daughter?
Friday, September 12, 2008
Okay, I know I said that I would try to stay out of the American election and focus on the Canadian, but I just can't help myself. I am continuing to work on my posts on the parenting and family platforms of our Canadian parties and in fairness to everyone am thinking of releasing them all at the same time, but in the meantime, I continue to follow the election coverage on both sides of the border and am particularly enjoying the discussions on other blogs.
I find it really hypocritical that Sarah Palin preaches abstinence and doesn't believe in teaching sex education in schools and yet she has a pregnant teenage daughter. I think that the situation she is in should have taught her a hard lesson about the failings of that approach and perhaps made her reconsider her policies.
But if it didn't do that, as a mother, you would think she would at least have the decency to decide that perhaps the public scrutiny she and her family, in particular her daughter, are going to be under with her being Governor of Alaska is already more than her daughter should have to bear. And certainly running for Vice President, which simultaneously means not being there for your daughter in her time of need (which is, IMO, certainly partially Sarah Palin's fault for her stance on sex ed and birth control as well as perhaps not spending enough time with her daughter due to her political aspirations), is just too much at this time.
I have heard many politicians, male and female, say that they have chosen not to run for office because they needed to take some time to focus on their family. If there was ever a time to do that, it would be when you have an infant with a disability and a pregnant teenage daughter. It doesn't mean you have to put your career on hold indefinitely, but it does mean that you pause and consider the needs of your loved ones when making decisions.
I stand up for the rights of all women to make their own choices. But I also think it is important that we be compassionate human beings and good parents. I wonder if Sarah Palin is blind to what she is doing to Bristol, if she is just selfish, or if she is perhaps trying to punish her daughter using shame.
The conservatives, some media, and other interested parties are all raving about double standards. Why are people picking on Palin for running for office when she has a family when they don't pick on Obama? Why are feminists against Palin when they embraced Hilary?
Well, I have another double standard for you.
Why are the conservative and religious right are all so willing to accept and embrace Paling despite her daughter's pregnancy when certainly they haven't given others in that situation that same benefit? This quote from Who Do We Think She Is? sums up the double standard pretty well.
My guess is that someone has or will teach Barack Obama's girls about the birds and the bees and about birth control too.
About Shame
I find it really hypocritical that Sarah Palin preaches abstinence and doesn't believe in teaching sex education in schools and yet she has a pregnant teenage daughter. I think that the situation she is in should have taught her a hard lesson about the failings of that approach and perhaps made her reconsider her policies.
But if it didn't do that, as a mother, you would think she would at least have the decency to decide that perhaps the public scrutiny she and her family, in particular her daughter, are going to be under with her being Governor of Alaska is already more than her daughter should have to bear. And certainly running for Vice President, which simultaneously means not being there for your daughter in her time of need (which is, IMO, certainly partially Sarah Palin's fault for her stance on sex ed and birth control as well as perhaps not spending enough time with her daughter due to her political aspirations), is just too much at this time.
I have heard many politicians, male and female, say that they have chosen not to run for office because they needed to take some time to focus on their family. If there was ever a time to do that, it would be when you have an infant with a disability and a pregnant teenage daughter. It doesn't mean you have to put your career on hold indefinitely, but it does mean that you pause and consider the needs of your loved ones when making decisions.
I stand up for the rights of all women to make their own choices. But I also think it is important that we be compassionate human beings and good parents. I wonder if Sarah Palin is blind to what she is doing to Bristol, if she is just selfish, or if she is perhaps trying to punish her daughter using shame.
About Double Standards
The conservatives, some media, and other interested parties are all raving about double standards. Why are people picking on Palin for running for office when she has a family when they don't pick on Obama? Why are feminists against Palin when they embraced Hilary?
Well, I have another double standard for you.
Why are the conservative and religious right are all so willing to accept and embrace Paling despite her daughter's pregnancy when certainly they haven't given others in that situation that same benefit? This quote from Who Do We Think She Is? sums up the double standard pretty well.
While many women celebrate Palin's decision to have a baby with Down syndrome, and her daughter's decision to keep her baby and marry her boyfriend, as living proof of her anti-abortion position, others see a moral gap between her commitment to "family values" and the projected picture of her family.
"She does have a child who is about to have a child," said Tonda Bean, a Silver Spring mother of two, who stays home with her daughters, 11 and 15. "There is attention that could have been paid. . . . The research I've read says you can circumvent some problems if you are with them enough. You can keep them out of certain activity."
In view of Bristol Palin's pregnancy at 17, Bean is concerned by Sarah Palin's stance favoring abstinence-only sex education. "What is missing," Bean said, "is to tell them about contraceptives. I wonder whether she will reform her position on that."
So while we probe Palin's conservatism, we also question how she could expose her daughter to national scrutiny, and wonder whether somebody else's pregnant daughter would be similarly embraced by a religious right that has not hesitated to criticize other famous unwed mothers, real (teenage pop star Jamie Lynn Spears) or imagined (TV sitcom character Murphy Brown).
"If it was the other way around, and it was Barack Obama's daughter," Farray said, "you would not hear the end of it."
My guess is that someone has or will teach Barack Obama's girls about the birds and the bees and about birth control too.
Reader Comments (11)
For the record I am NOT a conservative nor a member of a media. Before saying something like that, and linking my blog post to that statement, please check your facts.
But I do find it alarming, as a woman and a mother (like I wrote) the double standards that Palin is experiencing.
Leading academics and even former top aides to Hillary Rodham Clinton agree Sarah Palin has been subject to a sexist double standard by the news media and Democrats (from Politico)
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13129.html
@ A Mama's Blog
Sorry - I didn't mean to suggest that you were a conservative or a member of the media. I just linked to your post because it describes some of the double standards that they are up in arms about. To make it clearer, I edited my wording to add in "other interested parties" since it is true that it is not only the conservatives and members of the media that are talking about it.
For the record, I don't disagree that there is a double standard. However, I think (a) some of the criticism of her choices is warranted given her policies stance and (b) I think that some that are crying foul about double standards have a few of their own (again, not suggesting you do, but those that "embrace" her and her pregnant daughter but criticize other women who get pregnant and are not married).
Thanks for making the change, and I didn't realize your comment was a ping-back.
When was the last time you heard a politician say he/she was taking time off from politics to spend more time with their families when he/she wasn't facing non-family related political scandals? I can't remember the last time, but I am from the States. Sigh. It's hard being so cynical sometimes.
I'm getting way too caught up reading this stuff! Thanks for your thoughts on it!
I teach abstinence to my daughter - but I am also around to answer her questions and discuss why this is a good plan (and I tell her to come to me if she does decide to have sex). I imagine if I was off running a state or working all the time she might not get the same feeling of importance about the matter. That said - as a parent of a different sort of child, I can see where some kids are self-destructive no matter how they are raised, or at least have to constantly be testing the boundaries. I used to be a person who judged parents by their fruit, but I learned the hard way that sometimes all the "right" parenting in the world does not a perfect child make. Thank you for the thought-provoking post!
@ barelyknittogether:
Thanks for your post!
I don't see anything wrong with teaching abstinence as the best option. I would also prefer that my daughter not have sex until she is mature enough to make good decisions about it. However, I wouldn't teach it as the only option. I would teach her about birth control in the event that she does decide to have sex. I have a problem with the idea of not teaching sex ed and pretending that teenage sex doesn't happen. It does. That is where Sarah Palin and I seem to disagree!
Just browsing through some of your older posts, and this one on the double standard reminded me of this article that Hathor (now Mama-Is http://www.mama-is.com/) linked to recently, also on the double standard issue, but from a racial perspective (as you alluded to at the end of your post):
http://www.redroom.com/blog/tim-wise/this-your-nation-white-privilege-updated
Lots for all of us to think about in that one...
@ Elizabeth - thanks for those links! I wasn't meaning to bring up race (but that is a valid point too), I was thinking more along the lines that if a democrat's daughter was pregnant then their loose liberal left-leaning policies and lacking morals would be blamed.
We teach all kids not to run out into the street without looking, but that doesn't mean some kids don't just chase after their soccer ball anyway ;)
Teenagers sometimes have sex and get pregnant. No matter what you teach them- it's just part of free will. Teaching kids to use condoms clearly hasn't worked either- teenagers are still getting pregnant at an alarming rate.
I think the emotional and psychological ramifications of having sex at a young age are highly overlooked. And birth control isn't going to protect them from that.
Most people I know that teach abstinence, teach it with the motivation of instilling in their children that their sexuality is something of VALUE. It really means something and is an important part of who they are so they should treat it as such. It isn't about the simple physical act of having sex which is the point so many conventional sex education classes miss. I think many people just lump us all together as people who don't tell their kids that condoms exist which is not the case at all.
I am very much a conservative, and I do not judge Sarah Palin or her daughter. I don't know that running for VP is the best thing for her family. I know women whose families are thriving because mom works and families where the family life is suffering because she works. It just depends on the makeup of personalities and situations in that family.
@Jessica: You said "We teach all kids not to run out into the street without looking, but that doesn’t mean some kids don’t just chase after their soccer ball anyway ;)"
That is true! But parents that are present in their kids lives usually have a good sense of whether they are careful or reckless. And if you know that your child is reckless, then you supervise him or put up a fence.
Also, we don't say "Never ever go out into the street." As I explained in my post on http://phdinparenting.wordpress.com/2008/09/18/what-i-will-tell-my-kids-about-sex/" rel="nofollow">what I'll tell my kids about sex, we tell our kids what is dangerous about running into the street and we tell our kids to look both ways before entering the street.
Oh, I do agree- the analogy is a bit of a stretch, but I was just making the point to say that no approach is going to be 100% when you are dealing with human beings.
And I don't tell my 2 year old to look both ways- I tell her to NEVER walk into the street or that a car could smash her. We teach our kids to be responsible in stages and I just think this is the same kind of thing. Teenagers are more fragile than we think they are. They are not always ready to handle adult things even though they look like adults.
I do believe in abstinence-only teaching in our schools- I don't necessarily think it is realistic but I think in an ideal situation the institutional policy should be that "no sex" is the way to go.
Back in say, the fifties, both parents and schools taught abstinence or pretended sex didn't exist-and girls got pregnant.
Eventually, we started teaching teenagers about birth control- and girls got pregnant.
Those rates are not going down. The girls are still getting pregnant and the scarier thing is that they are getting younger and younger.
I am realistic that abstinence only teaching in schools is probably not the answer, but clearly what we are doing is not working.