Wednesday
Oct312012
Meet My Daughter...Batman (Guest Post)
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
One of the amazing things about kids is that they aren't always who we expect them to be. Giving our children the space to grow into their own person can be incredibly rewarding. Today, Jodi (@KarmicEvolution) is guest posting about her little girl in a Halloween-themed parenting post.
The thought of being the mom to a little boy always scared the crap out of me. I don't like dirt, or wrestling, or cars, or comics, or any of those “boy” things. I never had a problem with girls who played with cars or boys that played with dolls, I just never associated MY child as a child that would be anything but a stereotypical, gender defined child. Maybe it was just my own hope for a chance to re-play with all the things I loved as little girl. I never really put it together that boys could play with pink dolls and girls could get muddy up to their eyeballs.
Until I had my little girl.
This little person they handed me had my mind swirling with thoughts of princesses, tea parties, painted nails and pink frilly tutus. I saw myself dressing her in sparkly shoes and pigtails.
And I get to do all of those things.
What I didn't expect was that the princesses would be riding in monster trucks, that the tutus would be blue or that the sparkly shoes would spend time jumping in mud puddles.
As much as I wasn't expecting it, I adapted. As we all should if it makes our children happy.
I have no issue admitting I was sheltered and raised in a fairly straight edge. I did what I was “supposed” to do. Sure there were some dinky cars and transformers and cops & robbers, especially once my little brother came along, but primarily I was a Barbie and tea party girl.
So fast forward to this September. My daughter turned 4 and suddenly had a huge fascination with superheros, and I was clueless. I couldn't tell you anything about the Green Lantern other than you might find it at a cottage. My first thought when someone said “Spiderman” was the upside-down kiss from the movie trailer. So when I said to her “What do you want to be for Halloween?” and she answered “Batman”, I wasn't shocked, I don't think I even blinked twice.
Like any parent though I waited until she stated she wanted to be Batman for Halloween more than a few times before I ran out and grabbed a tiny Batman costume. The turtle costume I'd bought two years ago was hanging in the closet, finally she had grown into it and I was so excited. She didn't want to be a turtle though, she wanted to be Batman. It didn't matter if I wanted her to be a turtle... or a princess... or a fairy... or a flying alien. She wanted to be Batman.
As we get older we lose the joy of imagination. We stop pretending, we stop playing, we say goodbye to our imaginary friends. Halloween gives us another chance to pretend, to use our imagination, to play. We want our kids to enjoy their childhoods for as long as they can, so what message would I be sending to say “It's OK to play Batman here and with your friends, but for Halloween I'll decide what you'll be.”?
When you see a little girl with pigtails and her nails painted beaming behind her blue Batman mask, I'd like you to meet my daughter... Batman.
Jodi Sonoda is a vocal mental health and homelessness advocate who believes in the power of social media. As a blogger (www.myaccidentallife.blogspot.com ) and motivational speaker she refuses to hold back the details of life with a mental health illness. Solo mama to one gorgeous 3 year old daughter, and closet rock star just waiting to break out, her life goal is to leave the world better than she came into it.
What are your kids dressing up as this Halloween?
The thought of being the mom to a little boy always scared the crap out of me. I don't like dirt, or wrestling, or cars, or comics, or any of those “boy” things. I never had a problem with girls who played with cars or boys that played with dolls, I just never associated MY child as a child that would be anything but a stereotypical, gender defined child. Maybe it was just my own hope for a chance to re-play with all the things I loved as little girl. I never really put it together that boys could play with pink dolls and girls could get muddy up to their eyeballs.
Until I had my little girl.
This little person they handed me had my mind swirling with thoughts of princesses, tea parties, painted nails and pink frilly tutus. I saw myself dressing her in sparkly shoes and pigtails.
And I get to do all of those things.
What I didn't expect was that the princesses would be riding in monster trucks, that the tutus would be blue or that the sparkly shoes would spend time jumping in mud puddles.
As much as I wasn't expecting it, I adapted. As we all should if it makes our children happy.
I have no issue admitting I was sheltered and raised in a fairly straight edge. I did what I was “supposed” to do. Sure there were some dinky cars and transformers and cops & robbers, especially once my little brother came along, but primarily I was a Barbie and tea party girl.
So fast forward to this September. My daughter turned 4 and suddenly had a huge fascination with superheros, and I was clueless. I couldn't tell you anything about the Green Lantern other than you might find it at a cottage. My first thought when someone said “Spiderman” was the upside-down kiss from the movie trailer. So when I said to her “What do you want to be for Halloween?” and she answered “Batman”, I wasn't shocked, I don't think I even blinked twice.
Like any parent though I waited until she stated she wanted to be Batman for Halloween more than a few times before I ran out and grabbed a tiny Batman costume. The turtle costume I'd bought two years ago was hanging in the closet, finally she had grown into it and I was so excited. She didn't want to be a turtle though, she wanted to be Batman. It didn't matter if I wanted her to be a turtle... or a princess... or a fairy... or a flying alien. She wanted to be Batman.As we get older we lose the joy of imagination. We stop pretending, we stop playing, we say goodbye to our imaginary friends. Halloween gives us another chance to pretend, to use our imagination, to play. We want our kids to enjoy their childhoods for as long as they can, so what message would I be sending to say “It's OK to play Batman here and with your friends, but for Halloween I'll decide what you'll be.”?
When you see a little girl with pigtails and her nails painted beaming behind her blue Batman mask, I'd like you to meet my daughter... Batman.
Jodi Sonoda is a vocal mental health and homelessness advocate who believes in the power of social media. As a blogger (www.myaccidentallife.
What are your kids dressing up as this Halloween?
Reader Comments (14)
She is so awesome!
I had the opposite experience!
My daughter likes pink. She also likes doing her hair, her nails, new clothes, rearranging her room, and accessorising. Her delight in a new shade of nail varnish bemuses me. She can wear three outfits in a day, easily. As a little girl she played with dolls and soft toys and she has a deep fondness for any animal with fur.
This was not the kind of little girl I ever was. Where does all this love of primping and nurturing come from? How much is innately her and how much is what she thinks is required of her?
I want her to find herself. Her true self. I was worried that 'stereotypical girl' meant that she might not be her true self. http://ritesforgirls.com/pink-perfection/
Mind you, as I write, she is sorting out a rather gruesome vampire outfit for Halloween... with pink tights!
Up until Hotel Transylvania we were doing a group custome:
The Scooby-Doo gang!
Today she is Mavis, Dracula's daughter and she is eagerly waiting for her fangs and black nail polish. She was also the only zombie at her school's Harvest Festival.
BTW, Batman rocks! Also, per my daughter, your daughter is Batman girl, or plain Batman, not Batwoman she was adamant about that. She too LOVES Batman
Batman is adorable! I applaude you for allowing your daughter to be Batman for Halloween. Take lots of pictures to show her later how open minded you are. Seriously, you are very wise to allow her to personify the super hero of her choice. Happy Halloween!
I will be trick or treating this evening with an astronaut with blond pigtails peeking out from beneath her helmet :-)
My best friend's 3 year old is obsessed with Batman as well. On our last visit, she dressed up in her Batman costume and insisted that my son (he's 2) wear her Snow White dress. I loved it!
I myself am very girly but wary of having a daughter because I would really prefer to do without all of the frilly pink shit! So I am sure that I will get the princess-iest princess there is. :)
An acquaintance's 3 yr old boy was a butterfly this year. She said everyone had been positive about her son's costume except on older boy. Hopefully, that boy will learn it's okay to be a butterfly someday.
I wish I had seen this last month! My daughter wanted to be a ninja and I talked her into the princess from Brave. Looking back I'm sure she went along with it to please me. I will be more accepting of her choices in the future. Thankyou!
I love this. I am so happy when people allow their kids to be who they are. For me, my son loves princesses, fashion and dresses in addition to the sports, super heros and ninjas. My little girl is obsessed with anything her brother loves. She declared that she wanted to be a cat this year, but last year it was spiderman like her brother. I love this picture of the two of them, especially my little girl in her spiderman outfit and sparkly pink shoes:
http://kateandwill.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/spider-people/
The great thing about Halloween costumes is that you get to pretend to be somebody else. I see no problem with choosing a somebody who is the other sex. I used to help with an annual Halloween event which many people attended in costume, and I saw plenty of girls dressed as male characters (Harry Potter, Ben Franklin, football player, etc.) and a surprising number of boys dressed as women but nobody specific--dress, heels, jewelry, wig, makeup, and sometimes padded bra. This was in a diverse neighborhood of Philadelphia, and hardly anyone seemed bothered by it.
Last Sunday our church had a kids' Halloween party, and an 8-year-old girl was wearing a costume that had the Bat-symbol in several places but was mostly pink with a glittery skirt. I mean, she not only wasn't Batman, she wasn't even Batgirl but something girlier than that! Now I wonder if she wanted to be Batman but her mom steered her toward a "girl's costume."
How cute! I saw lots of little girls as Batman this year at the Halloween Trick or Treat festival we went to last night. It was cute.
My son was Batman, and I was Robin
I love this. Her sense of self, your attitude, this picture! My wish is for all of us to feel this confident when we go against a social norm, even a small one. Both of you are very lucky to have each other.
Halloween is still pretty low key in New Zealand and kids generally dress scary rather than any kind of costume. My 5 year old and her friend went trick or treating (or as our 3 year old calls it "trickle treating") as witches. Nice and classic.
Both of my girls were superheros this year and I was so proud of them! I was your typical girly girl growing up and in many ways I think it was encouraged. When I had my daughters I promised myself I wouldn't let mainstream media/marketing gobble up my daughters. We welcome princesses into the house as long as they're the kind who are good role models. We walk down the "boys" toy aisles and let them pick what they want. I stay away from a lot of the girlie things because what's being marketed as frilly and girly is crap encouraging our girls to be ditzy and only interested in very superficial things. So, bravo to you for raising a daughter who already knows she can be anything!