Friday
Aug262011
Why The World Needs to Change and How To Do It
Friday, August 26, 2011 "Don't let them tell you it can't be done."
Those are a few of the words written by Jack Layton, New Democratic Party leader and Canada's Leader of the Opposition, in his letter to Canadians. Jack Layton is sadly no longer with us, but we are still here.
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world."
Those are more words from Jack's letter. But who is the "we" he is referring to? It is all of us, really. But more than ever, it is and needs to be mothers. Mothers are predominantly the caregivers of the world. They care for their children, their parents, their spouses, and themselves. Mothers face challenges and see problems every day that need to be addressed. Mothers see the injustice, the gaps, the patriarchal systems.
But we are not just mothers. We are also economists, journalists, lawyers, business owners, first responders, politicians, scientists, teachers and more. Mothers have a skill set that allows us to intellectually weave together the public and the private, the personal and the societal, the tangible and the intangible. We see the world in a multidimensional fashion.
But we're also tired. Mothers are often earning a living while caring for three generations of their family. Mothers are often martyrs, although they shouldn't have to be. And many mothers face the simple, yet complex problem that there is no one to care for their children if they want to go out and change the world.
That isn't to say that it cannot be done. Mothers have power and knowledge and ideas and they also face barriers and challenges to true participation in changing the world. For some mothers, the missing link is role models, inspiration, and ideas. They may see the problems, but don't yet know how to build solutions or bridge gaps. For those mothers with fires burning inside of them but don't know where to start or for those mothers who are still searching for a spark, I have a book for you.
When I was at the Motherhood Activism, Advocacy, Agency Conference in Toronto in May, I picked up a copy of the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement's new book entitled The 21st Century Motherhood Movement: Mothers Speak Out on Why We Need to Change the World and How To Do It.The book is full of stories of mothers, both individually and through groups, who have taken on the world, advocated for change, and made the world a better place for mothers, their children, and human beings in general. The book covers themes so diverse in its 81 chapters divided into 7 sections across almost 1000 pages that it is impossible to try to list or summarize them. The book is not a light read, but individual chapters on their own can provide the inspiration or fuel needed to push forward or tackle a challenge.
If you like the sound of this book, I have good news for you. Courtesy of Blue Milk (who authored one chapter of the book) and Demeter Press (the publisher), I have one copy of the book to give away to one of my readers, anywhere in the world. But there is a catch. I want you to share your thoughts with me and my readers.
Tell me, in your own words:
Why does the world need to change?
How can we, as mothers, contribute to that change?
On September 3, I will use a random number generator to identify the winner of the book from the comments received. I will contact the winner by e-mail to inform them that they won and to get their mailing address. If I don't hear back from the winner within a couple of days, I'll draw again.
Reader Comments (44)
Why does the world need to change?
We live in a world based on inequality, unfairness and suffering. From economic systems that rely on poverty to patriarchal systems that separate 'care' from 'work' and devalue 'care'. It could be so much better.
How can we, as mothers, contribute to that change?
We will each have our own priorities. Mine start with raising my children to be as psychologically healthy as I can because I believe most of human ills come back to psychopathologies. After that I'm focused on my local maternity care, I'm using my interest in all things childbirth to inform my involvement in our local user/service interface.
For me, the most important thing we can all do is be non-judgemental, if we can stand together as mothers, women and people we can achieve much more.
The world needs to change? No. People need to change their current paradigm. Here are some reasons; Cruel acts such as the cooking of live puppies, the squishing of kittens and other small animals in high heels, and other violence that happens for the reason of needing a "sensation". Warlords supported by the large "democracies". The refusal to acknowledge the connection of everything, or the flat out will to completely exploit it for personal gain. Continual oration by politicos of the importance of mothers while stabbing them in the back with their policies. It could go on endlessly could it not?
I contribute to change by consciously deciding to veer from the path of my parents and theirs, by trying to be awake in my surroundings and acting within them in positive ways, aligning my self with others who feel a similar adjustment to the current paradigm is needed, as a student and as a mentor, I try to participate in civil matters.However I am finding that keeping to the low side of the road and under cover seems much more effective for initiating change, grass roots just going out and doing it kind of stuff. I guess I try to live my values, love my child unconditionally and allow her freedom to learn and make decisions, trusting that she is capable of doing so. I would love to see what others are doing in a more official capacity.
[...] PhD in Parenting is running a give-away of The 21st Century Motherhood Movement: Mothers Speak Out On Why We Need To Change The World And How To Do It. I think the book is pretty amazing, but then I have a chapter in it so I’ll admit I’m not entirely impartial. [...]
Why does the world need to change? We have not learnt how to live together, as men and women, as families, countries and an international community. We do not have the skills to manage our own power, and we do not have the infrastructure to support equal power sharing, ie laws and social values. It's a matter of privilege who gets to make the choices. And all too often women and their children come out with the least options.
How can we, as mothers, contribute to that change? I am in the middle of trying to answer this in my own parenting. I am the primary caregiver both to a girl child and a boy child. And I value things like homemade, organic, reusable, recyclable, permaculture etc. However we are not wealthy enough to pay others for this work, and so it falls on me to do it. Work that is traditionally 'womans work'. Work that has very low status in our society. And I worry about what I am teaching my daughter and my son, being a woman doing this work (although my partner certainly does help with childcare and food preparation).
Short of living my principles/values, I do not know how to contribute to change. And I have no idea how to live my values of being on the road to being self sufficient, while also living my value of women and men being equal partners in raising a family. I hope that my husband and myself modelling healthy communication and mutual respect is going to be 'good enough'.
Sorry, answer to the 2nd question is essentially rather wafty. For me it comes down to modelling. Not campaigning, blogging, writing etc. Being a mother who has chosen to value food made from scratch, growing some of my own food, making objects by hand etc, with 2 small children I feel my best use of time is by modelling respect and tolerance in our family. I can totally see another woman placing a higher value on effecting social change at a political level and relying on others to do the tasks required to raise a family. Or not prioritising home values or feminist values and just getting on with life.
And I do not think it is up to mothers to change this. It is up to PARENTS, regardless of their gender orientation.
(sorry, very hot and tired and not terrible eloquent - I might come back to edit)
The question is too expansive for my brain to grasp, so a small example in response: recently I was told by a complete stranger on the street that I am "way too young" to be a mother, a bald faced judgement based on my appearance and nothing else. I am in my late twenties; I work hard every day to cook healthful meals for my child, to get her outdoors, to read to her, to teach her about the world, to teach her patience, kindness, empathy. I am giving everything I have to nurture a human into the kind of person that will not judge a person on the street, who will see a mother with a small child on the street and perhaps smile warmly valuing the importance of motherhood, the beauty of childhood, the connection between the two. My point is this: the world needs to change because there is too much division, judgement, and close mindedness. Instead of passing criticism upon one for their age, we as parents and as people can model kindness and acceptance. It's a basic, yet profound first step.
The world needs to change so fundamentally that one day our descendents will marvel at the fact that generations past would have even entertained the notion that all humans weren't equal.
How does it happen? I think education and empowerment projects like The Girl Effect have a lot of potential. I also think that empathic and congruent engagement about feminism is also very important in 'western' nations.
Idealistic and not supported with a detailed plan of action? Clearly. Taking it one day at a time and making conscious choices about how I interact with my world to move it towards that day. Definitely.
I hope that you don't mind that I linked back to this post in my own. I'm a newbie so please let me know if I haven't done it properly.
Regardless of how one choses to vote, there are some profound one liners that should be extracted from Layton's career and remembered by all: "Always dream a dream that lasts longer than a lifetime" is that one Layton quote that I like most of all.
The world needs to change because we are not static individuals. We all matter - collectively and individually, and our dreams towards this have not yet been realized. This is our longer than a lifetime dream. And as mothers, we dream that dream that lasts longer than a lifetime when we raise our children with the example of never-ending love, so that they may love and appreciate others in turn.
The world needs to change so that we can prove to ourselves we are as possible of great acts of human kindness as we have been of great acts of human atrocity.
As a mother I can start with my kids but I can also show them how to do that in the world by my example
Megan:
I agree that both mothers and fathers, as well as everyone else in our society, should be responsible for changing things. We are a global village and we all need to look out for each other.
The focus on mothers, however, is because they are so often (a) the ones being discriminated against and (b) the ones responsible for caregiving for three generations. However, mothers are not equally represented in politics and political decision making.
Why does the world need to change?
The world needs to change because too many women die each day from preventable pregnancy and childbirth related complications. Every year, more than 1 million children are left motherless and vulnerable because of maternal death. Children who have lost their mothers are up to 10 times more likely to die prematurely than those who have not*. Those that survive are more likely to live in poverty and less likely to attend school. Whole communities suffer as a result. The conditions that lead to these women's deaths (unsafe water, poor nutrition, poverty, lack of access to healthcare) repeat themselves over and over. Why? War, economics, apathy. I agree with a previous poster, we need to change the way we do things entirely. Jack Layton said "we are all in this together...no one should be left behind".
How can we, as mothers, contribute to that change?
Peace on earth begins with birth. If we cannot manage to care for the mothers of this earth and their children, we are lost. Ensuring mothers have shelter, food, that they are safe in their relationships, have rights, have jobs, have an educations, ensures that they are healthy, that they have healthy pregnancies, healthy births and that they are able to raise healthy children. Learn the issues in your city, province, and country (believe me Canada has a few...), learn who is working toward addressing these issues and join them. If there is no one, start a group. Write letters. Do not accept "no".
*from the Millenium Development Goal #5 Fact sheet at www.internationalmidwives.org
Thank you for your comment Holly. Choice in maternity care and birth attendants is still such a problem in so many parts of the world. It is great to hear that you are making that a focus.
What a great quote. Thanks for sharing it.
The world needs to change in that it is still impossible for a woman to survive on her own with children in most parts of the world. Women are therefore forced to stay in domestic violence situations for purely financial reasons or to remarry with the first guy who comes along. I think you will find that in western countries it is often those in the more affluent areas who will be forced to stay and hide the truth, as to escape would mean leaving behind most friendships, moving to a different area and living on nothing. Most middle class to upper class areas are still nuclear family based because it is necessary to have two incomes these days to keep the mortgage paid and food on the table. Married women will exclude a single mother or frown upon a divorce in these neighbourhoods, and I believe that throughout the middle class divorce has become MORE taboo, and is looked upon as something for poor people, or people who can't work out their problems. This leaves women in abusive relationships in very vulnerable positions. The days of 'Leave him Sista!' are gone and now there is only the doughy looks and judgemental raising of eyebrows, along with 'I don't want little Johnny playing with her kids again, there is problems in that household.' And we here are the lucky ones, we are allowed to divorce, most of the worlds women wouldnt have the choice. (I left an abusive relationship 4 years ago. I found that from the court system down to the social scene there was a general apathy and even animosity towards me for having made my choice to leave. I am now repartnered and have begun to be accepted again in a new area, abeit suspiciously).
Having equal shifts in morning and afternoon/eve to allow parent's to share work and childcare schedules would make a great difference. 9 to 5 is not the only valid work schedule.
This is such a huge question that I don't really know where to begin, so I think I will be a bit general and vague. I guess I can say that, in one instance, the world needs to change because of the simple fact that women and children are the poorest people in the world.
Mother's can contribute to this change by rising up in solidarity, together to fight oppression and discrimination we face. Changing society and culture is more than just an individual, one child at a time occurrence.
The world needs to change because it doesn't value families enough. Because having children is often seen as a lifestyle choice and deemed a personal issue as a consequence. While I am the one with most responsibility for raising of my children, and I'm not trying to get rid of it (or part of it), it could be enriched if more people were involved than just parents and immediate family/friends.
We could begin by trying to make sure that children are welcome, not just tolerated, in places where they or their parents belong (ideally, including workplaces). As a consequence, this would help mothers as well, because it's often them as the usual primary caregivers, who are left out sitting at the sidelines.
Maybe a better question is "How does the world need to change?" I like "how" because it invites specifics and solutions. I think the core place the world needs to change is to value women's contributions to the world as life-bearers and sustainers; our contact with our mothers is our first experience of love and sets our brain pathways to both experience and behave with love and empathy. Without a strong foundation of love and empathy I think the ability to value all living things, the earth and to act in responsible and ethical ways is greatly diminished.
This is not just the responsibility of the mother herself, it is the job of all society. Mothers and children are vulnerable during this special time in their development. Infants and young children need their mothers full- time. Children need to breastfeed for much, much longer than most people in Western cultures understand. How children are nurtured and cared for affects what type of people they will be when they mature and how they may behave. So we need society to understand and have policies that facilitate and protect families - making it possible that mothers can be there for their children during their early formative years without being punished economically or career-wise. And to truly value women's contribution as caregivers and not just try to cover-up false valuing with crap like mothers-day cards. And mothers need help and support during this time - not just having to slug it out by themselves day by day with an overwhelming workload.
I wholly agree with another commenter's beliefs that maternity care around the world needs to be improved - children should not be motherless simply because society doesn't value women enough. And I think all men/fathers should witness and support the natural, physiological birth process - witnessing and experiencing this process and how the baby is then nurtured and nourished at the breast can be life changing for all involved.
How can mothers contribute to the change? I really believe in the natural process of birth and the fulfillment of breastfeeding - I would love to see more mothers supported in this and experiencing the absolute self-empowerment that can be gain from this amazing process. I know that not all mothers may experience a natural birth or succeed at breastfeeding (at least it is truly difficult right now in the U.S.) so I think that real support and acceptance for all mothers and their experiences is essential as we find a way to change maternity care policies and work-place policies to make optimal experiences more available for mothers and infants.
For me personally, I contribute to changing the world by how I care for my children and listening to their needs. This has led me to do things differently from the mainstream - I never knew I was a rebel! I was always the good girl who followed the rules. I also help mothers through breastfeeding support and I am a natural childbirth educator. I would like to do more; however, I am currently overwhelmed by loads of laundry, constant meals that need to be made and huge piles of dishes in the sink.
I think it's important for mothers to encourage others to love all babies, not just our own. The people who "run the world" spend a lot of time thinking about themselves...their own wealth, their own progress, their own families. In the process, thousands of families are destroyed. Yet, we all benefit when our children are healthy, happy, well-fed and loved.
As a mother, I plan to think about the needs of my child but also the needs of the other children in my community...thinking about what is good for ALL of their interests, making sure that my choices aren't detrimental to others.
The world needs to change because we can't sustain ourselves with the high level of violence and lack of care we show for others. I never understood why, given the short amount of time we spend on this planet, that the time must be spent trying to get "ahead" at the expense of others.
The world needs to change because our expectations have changed. Mothers contribute to that change by instilling in their children the expectation that the world will be a better place for them than it was for their parents. When expectations are not met people will fight for change, without expectation there is no cause for hope, and no reason to fight. The key is to teach our children to expect the world to value compassion and equality not wealth and hyper-developed toys.
When you live by yourself in a hut in the woods, you can pretty much do whatever you want with little impact. When it changes to living in a high rise condo with 12 roommates, it is important to have habits that allow all parties to live in a harmonious way. The more crowded the world becomes, the more conflict there will be. The work needs to change now that the population has grown to the point that constant conflict and poor habits (factory farming, pollution, etc.) can devastate entire regions and populations. The current example is the famine in Somalia.
Why does the world need to change? Precisely because of the rigid gender roles that most societies depend on.
As a mother, I am changing this every day, by modelling, whether it is by continuing as a stay-at-work mother, or by talking with my daughter about how to be strong and confident in difficult situations, by making space for my husband to be an equal parent. I think the latter is very important: for generations women have been central to perpetuating these gender roles that are constricting, and when it comes to parenting, we as mothers must make room for our partners to be equal parents by letting them do things in their own way, even if it is not our way and we must bite our tongues, without the freedom to learn on their own, most dads will not throw themselves in fully even if they want to.
Why does the world need to change?
In the simplest terms, the world needs to change because we, as humans, are creatures of change. We learn, evolve, and grow. Perhaps it's the meaning of life.
The things that we need to change, the current reasons we need to evolve, are multi-faceted and interwoven. Systems of oppression, power, and struggle are tied up in identity, individuality, and community. We are part of a world where it is impossible to define ourselves outside of a system that binds us into it as a less-than-the-whole piece.
Prejudices are used to keep us from seeing greater opportunities for human interaction and understanding.
What can we, as mothers, do about it?
You certailny don't have to be a mother to make these changes, but as a mother, I have found new perspectives on these issues. Having my daughter made me look at the world differently. I began to see everything as I saw her: full of potential, new. When I started to think about all of the ways my daughter's potential was already being determined for her (as a female, as a person of color, as someone whose parents grew up lower class, etc), I knew that my formerly academic interest in the rhetorical construction of differences like race and gender was now constantly present in my day-to-day life as well. I see my role in the change as someone who shares my insights and invites discussion. Above all, I believe that human beings are decent, and that open dialogue is the key to breaking down the barriers around us. Mothers are in a good position to start those discussions.
why does the world need to change?
I think it's important to rephrase this in active voice-- the world isn't going to change itself, that's pretty apparent. Why do we need to change the world, instead, is the question we should be asking. The answer is, of course, not a simple one.
We need to change the world because there are human brothers and sisters who are unable to meet their basic needs. When we come to view housing, medical care, and food as human rights, then when humans don't have those rights, we should take action, collectively, not backing down until all people everywhere have those basic elements of survival.
As a parent, what can we do?
We can teach. We can teach by example, and we can make sure children are aware of how to be kind, of what it means to have and live without privilege, and make sure that we reach out to other parents.
In only a few words, because I have to run, but to be completely cliche the world needs to change for the future of our kids. Our kids need better... better role models for partnerships, better paid family leave when they have children, options for work and family balance.... could go on and on...
I think that many of the world's problems stem from a huge lack of understanding of and empathy for others. As a mother I believe that effective communication is of paramount importance in bringing up a child. Children who can communicate their needs effectively as well as listen to and work with others can help bring about effective social change in the furture. We can only work on a micro level, but the spreading of ideas and inspiration via whatever method you find best helps you to express yourelf is important. Do one thing every day to encourage or inspire yourself and others.
Why does the world need to change?
The world need to change because where systems fall down mothers pick up the pieces. Whether that be about education, transport, or health this seems to be true. Mothers are seeking access to services and resources. I’m not talking about providing our children with every opportunity in a spirit of competition. I’m talking about providing basic care for everyone’s children, since many mothers in the world are not able to provide the basics to keep themselves and their children alive.
The amount of care work done by mothers means they have an investment in society and in our children’s futures, collectively. The amount of sacrifice made by mothers means that mothers have a reason to lobby to share the work of caring, and to lobby to restructure the way we work. Mothers have reason to be at the table when decisions about our society are being made, and are currently under-represented.
How can we, as mothers, contribute to that change?
What mothers can do depends on their own situations. I don’t expect my sister, a single mother who has a child with Downs Syndrome, to campaign beyond providing for the immediate needs of her family. I don’t expect a mother who works in child protection to be active beyond her work. As a mother with three healthy daughters I am able to be active. I joined a political party. I created a babysitting club to support local families. I’m on local committees at school and at the community centre. I write letters to the newspaper, calling sexism where I see it. I volunteer. I attend talks and conferences relating to mothering issues. I read the books and blogs. I blog about maternal feminism at http://motherhugger.blogspot.com/. I’m creating a course on mothering in context for a community college. What we can all do is keep asking questions, think critically, and be part of public discussions about issues that concern mothers, raising awareness of what mothers do, and that mothers have political power.
[...] Century Motherhood Movement: Mothers Speak Out on Why We Need to Change the World and How To Do It. Join the conversation by September 3 for a chance to win it. // Share| Cancel [...]
I am a mother of four. This book looks wonderful!! Fingers crossed. I'd love to read it and become a better role model for my children....by learning ways to effect change.
And, as a mother of two girls, THANK YOU for putting pressure on JC Penny to get rid of that demeaning and dusgusting "I am too pretty to do homework" tshirt.
I am a mother of four. This book looks wonderful!! Fingers crossed. I'd love to read it and become a better role model for my children....by learning ways to effect change.
And, as a mother of two girls, THANK YOU for putting pressure on JC Penny to get rid of that demeaning and disgusting "I am too pretty to do homework" tshirt.
Yes the world needs change! In Canada, hundreds of Aboriginal women have either been murdered or gone missing, most of them from BC. The wide-spread prejudice, cultural stereotyping and systematic oppression of these people have made it so no one in power seems to care. When a provincial government reduces legal aid money to civil cases and increases it for criminal cases, so that an abuser could get a court appointed attorney, but his abused spouse cannot, the world definitely needs to change! I think as mothers we not only need to educate our daughters, but also our sons who could grow up and educate other men...Change will happen when both men and women begin to believe that women are not lesser.
Why does the world need to change?
The world IS changing because it is not in balance. Light, dark, good, evil, right, wrong... everyone has a different interpretation of what each of these things mean but the truth is there are a lot of people suffering so change is imminent.
How can we, as mothers, contribute to that change?
I believe a peaceful existence begins with a peaceful conception and beyond. As mothers, we can provide essential nurturing and nourishment for our babies' bodies, minds and spirits from the beginning. Once that foundation has been established, it is up to us to maintain it so that our progeny can benefit from the love we have given. We don't have all the answers as mothers. I feel there are more questions than answers most of the time. But if we just love, purely and wholly, we have done the best possible thing for ourselves, for our children and for this world/
:)
The world needs to change because the way it is going now is not sustainable or just. When I say sustainable, I don't just mean that humans have interfered so much with the natural way that the Earth is running out of time and space to breathe. I also mean that some governments can't keep supporting and then killing rulers of other nations without a great anger rising out of the nations we toy with. Children can't keep getting sold and and traded into slavery and marriage without creating and perpetuating cultures of oppression. Pregnancy can't keep getting treated like an unfortunate medical condition without effecting on the babies, and thus the next generation of mothers. We can't keep poisoning parts of the food chain and water supply without poisoning our selves. We can't keep expecting single working mothers to do the majority of the work, paid and nonpaid, without depriving our children of... their mothers...
So how can we as mothers contribute? I think to start, we need to be more demanding. We often accept only the choices laid out in front of us and feel ashamed to ask, let alone demand, what we really want. And more than anyone else, it is a mother who wants things for very unselfish reasons, so there is no reason to be ashamed to ask.
And I think we need to re-frame our issues not as "mother's issues" or even family issues, but as something more universal. Just because it took having a child to realize how messed up some things are in the world, doesn't mean that those things are only messed up for you and your children. Look deeper and see how far these things stretch and who else is affected. Take work hours, for example. You hear people without kids complain that they have to take up the slack for a working mother who needs to leave the office before the daycare closes and who never work late. My response, why should you have to take up the slack? Do you not have a life beyond work as well? The mother was right to set a healthy boundary and establish limits. And you should do the same. If everyone did this, the employer would be forced to recreate the system and not just keep shuffling the unfair burden around. We need to not only insist on the rights that we need to care for our children, but create new systems in which all people.. all creatures... all can live well.
Living well. It seems like a lofty goal, but sometimes I'm sort of baffled about why we haven't figured out how to do this yet, or at least why we aren't closer to such a goal than we are yet. All over the world, the sun shines, kids giggle, plants grow... seems like we have the stuff for the good life. Why is this so complicated? Why do we keep using each other (and the Earth) in such horrible ways?
So I guess the other thing that we as mothers NEED to do, is to teach out children well. Do our best not to teach hatred or abuse. Do not raise people that expect things to come easy, but who ARE able to question the way things are. Teach them to help others and ask for help when they need it. Teach them how to maintain solid and healthy relationships. Teach them the importance of simplicity, respect, and empathy. Teach them politics and maths and other intimidating subjects so that they don't just turn their heads, but grapple and take a stand on difficult issues. Teach them to work hard, but also to dream and to not be afraid to ask for weekends off, even before they have kids.
And a big part of teaching is modeling.
I think the world needs to change in order to be a better place for our children. I felt this way before I had a child, but my views have changed profoundly since I gave birth in April. I hope to inspire my daughter to change the world herself. I read an article in the NY Times recently about how the social pressures on our children have changed. It is now a major social faux pas to bring your lunch to school in a paper bag, with the sandwich wrapped in a plastic bag. It's not "green" to do so, and children are ridiculed. Lunches must be brought in reusable bags and containers. That's just one way things are different now than they were when I was a child. Small change like this are what we need to continue to inspire. They will all add up to substantial differences in the way the world is viewed by our grandchildren. Don't even get me started on social injustices. Do you think our children will continue to uphold the US ban on gay marriage? Highly unlikely. There are already changes happening, we need to do our best to keep inspiring our children to do better, be better, think better.
This is a really thought provoking question and while I can think of several things, I am going to focus on just one:
The world needs to change... Maternity leaves.
All mothers deserve a maternity leave. In fact, they deserve a paid maternity leave of at LEAST one year. I am glad to live in Canada where we have a "paid" maternity leave (through Employment Insurance and often topped by some employers) but so many countries are behind on this (and many are ahead). In order to have a world of more attached, more secure and healthier babies (and adults), we need to start at the very beginning. If mothers are allowed at least a year of fully paid leave, babies would be breastfed for longer, there would be less pressure for rigid schedules and crying alone. The independence that our society so craves would be a natural bi-product of securely attached children allowed to grow and learn according to their own biological clock, not some artificially enforced standard that we have to go by because we have no choice.
I could go on for hours about this, but in trying to keep it brief, I will just say the above.
As for what we, as mothers, can do - we need to support each other and fight for more rights. I remember a few of the older women at my work telling me that they had six month mat leaves and fought for the year knowing they wouldn't benefit. How amazing is that? We, as women and mothers, need to fight for each other and for future generations of women. Write to our political leaders, frequent companies and establishments that give generous maternity leaves, write, blog, tweet, take to the streets praising companies that support mothers and stop supporting those who do not support mothers and offer maternity benefits.
This was very train of thought and totally unedited.
This is awesome - both the post and the comments are inspiring!
Before I had kids, I thought my biggest contribution to gender equality would be to empower my girls and teach all my children that we're all the same on the inside. I've actually done something slightly different. I teach my children that we're all a little different on the outside. That there are differences -- and it doesn't matter a bit.
We need to realize that everyone can make a contribution to the world, empower our children, and encourage each other to follow through on our ideas to help others. Everyone has something to contribute.
I like this one!
Why does the world need to change?
The world needs to change because if we are to continue on our current trajectory, there's not going to be a world left TO change. Environmental degradation and various social ills are so ingrained with each other, our problems today have many complicated facets that all need to be addressed.
How can we, as mothers, contribute to that change?
Even though my answer to the first question references complicated, tangled problems, the good news is most of these problems can have relatively simple solutions. Our place as mothers is to raise children cognizant of these problems; ie. how social injustice can be deeply ingrained with environmental injustice and then give our children the tools to educate and change the harmful patterns. This can be as easy as minding where one's produce comes from and how it is produced and who harvests it.
There are many reasons that the world needs to change, many of which are eloquently expressed in these comments. Yet what keeps coming to my mind is that the world needs to change because the current way is not sustainable. How to do that as mothers? Again, there will be many maternal contributions to this change, but one that I think is huge is the guiding sentiments on how we want our children to grow up. So often the mainstream conversational focus is about how to raise happy kids. Though I am certainly not advocating for miserable kids, I think everyone involved could benefit from a shift toward raising kids to be justice-minded and justice-hearted, not just content.
Mothers need to unite and be the change force together.
I was too late for this (which is too bad, 'cause I've been trying to score that book for a while :) but I just want to tell you how damn cool you are for setting this up. I've liked some of your posts before, but really, this one was one of the best follow-ups to the last Layton letter that I've seen. Thanks for putting it out there.
Why do be change???
We live in a time of change, what is present now will disappear later, therefore, we will have to adjust and reinvent ourselves or we will be pushed aside and others will take our place.
[...] New Democratic Party Leader Jack Layton fought and beat prostate cancer but was sadly unable to beat a second type of cancer. While he was still with us, Jack was a big supporter of prostate cancer awareness programs and I [...]
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[...] One place that these types of conversations already does take place is as the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (MIRCI). I’ve mentioned MIRCI on my site before, like when I attended their conference on Motherhood Activism, Advocacy and Agency, when I wrote about our (over)investment in parenting highs, and when I talked about the new book they released on the 21st Century Motherhood Movement. [...]