Does breastfeeding hurt? If it is painful, is something wrong?
Saturday, January 2, 2010 I received a reader question from Shannon @zchamu and Jacquelyn @jacquelyncyr based on a discussion they were having with some other women on a message board.
On the message board Jacquelyn said:
So I've been thinking about this for the last few weeks and, man, the whole painless breastfeeding frenzy thing seems like a bit of a scam. I don't get why there is so much literature out there talking about how easy and painless it is, and how if it's not both of these things, there is probably something wrong. That does NOT seem right to me - I wonder if it's actually that way for most people? ... WHY does the entire "industry" or whatever you want to call it not acknowledge this fact? Why don't people talk about the fact that it can be excruciating to have a previously innocent rack suddenly suckled within an inch of its life? It makes a gal feel like she's not doing it right or something is the matter or it wasn't meant to be or whatever.
After reading the discussion where Jacquelyn and many others recounted the pain they experienced while breastfeeding (some felt pain only initially and for others it lasted much longer), Shannon e-mailed me. She recapped the question and discussion and then said:
So I wanted to throw this over to you. What about the statement that "it shouldn't hurt" and what do you think it means, first of all (does it mean it should NEVER hurt? Does it mean that after an adjustment period it shouldn't hurt? Does it split hairs between "discomfort" and "pain"?) And second of all, what do you think it does to women trying to breastfeed to hear that statement, when they are obviously struggling with it? It would definitely be discouraging, to hear that it shouldn't hurt if you're "doing it right", kwim?
I know it's kind of a big question, hee, but I think it's an important one and i thought you'd be the perfect person to spring a discussion about it.
What do you think?
What do I think? I think it is complicated! But I'll give it a go...
Is pain normal?
The number of women who experience no pain or discomfort at all while breastfeeding is probably equivalent to the number of women who have experienced orgasm during birth. It is rare enough that everyone has heard the horror stories. It is rare enough that people tend not to believe women who say they experienced no pain at all.
So pain while breastfeeding is frequent, but it is normal? According to breastfeeding expert Dr. Jack Newman:
Though some tenderness during the first few days is relatively common, this should be a temporary situation that lasts only a few days and should never be so bad that the mother dreads nursing. Any pain that is more than mild is abnormal and is almost always due to the baby latching on poorly.
Moms who have been there and done that will tell you that you just need some time to let your nipples toughen up. Lactation consultants and other breastfeeding experts will tell you there is no such thing as letting your nipples "toughen up" and that if it hurts, something is wrong and you need to fix it ASAP.
The reality, I think, is somewhere between the two. I don't think that you necessarily need time for your nipples to toughen up, but I do think that any new breastfeeding pair needs some time to get used to each other and to get their technique down right. I do think it is worth asking why it hurts and what you can do to manage and eliminate the pain.
Challenge 1: Finding out why it is painful
Other than the mild tenderness that Jack Newman spoke of above, the pain that moms experience when breastfeeding does usually have a cause. According to Kelly Bonyata, IBCLC, from kellymom.com in her article on Healing Tips for Nipple Cracks or Abrasions:
Keep in mind that one of the most important factors in healing is to correct the source of the problem.
In her post Does Breastfeeding Hurt? Well...Yes and No. Mostly no., Sara from Custom-Made Milk explains that:
The majority of women will feel some pain in the first few weeks of breastfeeding while her baby learns to latch, while her nipples accustom themselves to being stretched out, and while her baby’s mouth grows larger.
Some people may call this toughening up the nipples, but I think it is more mom learning to breastfeed and baby learning to nurse. As with anything in life, some people are quick learners and others are not. I think that is why it takes longer for some women to get over the pain than others. But as with learning disorders that go undetected, nursing problems that go undetected will not go away on their own. But if you find out the source of the problem, you can usually do something about it.
If a mom is experiencing acute pain or even mild pain that doesn't seem to be getting better as time passes, it is worth a call to La Leche League, a visit to a lactation consultant, and/or posting a message on a reputable message board. The most common problem is issues with the latch, which is tricky because it is not always easy to fix. I know what a good latch looks like and feels like, but it took me forever to get to that point. When my son was not able to latch on, and then later when he was able to but his latch was painful, I wished desperately that I could borrow someone else's baby to nurse for a moment so that I would know what a good latch felt like. I longed to pass my baby over to the lactation consultant and have her try to nurse him and tell me if his latch felt right. I didn't know if it was my technique, my baby's technique, my breasts, or his mouth that was the source of the problem. It was frustrating, humiliating, and painful.
Beyond the latch, there are numerous other problems that can interfere with learning to breastfeed. Just like a tight Achilles tendon may prevent some children from being able to walk properly, a tight frenulum (tongue tie) can prevent some babies from being able to latch properly and can cause pain for their mothers. A mom may be doing everything right, but that won't make a difference unless the problem is dealt with.
Other things that can cause pain or discomfort include thrush, a bite, milk blister, plugged ducts and mastitis, breastfeeding after breast surgery, being pregnant, ovulating, and more.
Whatever the problem is, figuring out the source is the most important thing you can do to prevent future pain.
Challenge 2: Stopping the pain
Finding out the source of the pain is the first step, but not the last. There are many things that you can do to relieve the pain and heal cracked or sore nipples. If your nipples are damaged, it will keep hurting even if everything else is right.
A lot of women probably aren't aware of even half of the things you can do to heal your nipples and deal with the pain. A lot of women probably suffer more than they need to. A lot of women probably give up when they didn't need to. Sara from Custom-Made Milk lists some of the things that a lactation consultant should have mentioned to help a mom to heal her nipples and prevent further damage in her post Does Breastfeeding Hurt? Well...Yes and No. Mostly no:
If you haven’t heard of soothies, if you haven’t heard of loosening up your breast tissue before nursing, if you haven’t heard of weaning the baby back onto the breast, if you haven’t heard of breast shields, if you haven’t heard of lanolin, if you haven’t heard of vitamin E, if you haven’t heard of air-drying, if you haven’t heard about the proper types of bra to wear and about breast shells that can keep your bra from chafing your nipples.. If you didn’t learn how to properly wash your breasts (hint: no soap or hot water!) if you didn’t learn different latch-on techniques and if you didn’t learn about rotating breastfeeding positions to minimize repeated irritation to certain areas of the breast…. If you didn’t learn about nursing up-hill to correct hyper-supply that makes your baby bite down.. If you didn’t learn about nipple confusion…If you didn’t learn about personal fit shields, if you didn’t learn about the symptoms of tongue tied babies, if you didn’t learn about proper fit of breast pump flanges…
Nipple pain is one of the most common things that women face. It is one of the most common reasons for early weaning. There are so many tools out there to help moms get through the difficulties. Yet so many do not make it through.
How can breastfeeding experts help moms who are experiencing pain?
There are a lot of negative attitudes about breastfeeding in society. So I understand breastfeeding advocates wanting to improve the image of breastfeeding and I wholly support that goal. I understand when they want to make it sound easy and wonderful, but I don't think that is entirely the right approach. I say that because I also know how difficult breastfeeding can be and how much it can hurt (read our story). I also know how vulnerable moms can be when they are experiencing breastfeeding difficulties and I know that saying "you must be doing something wrong" is not going to give them confidence or make them feel supported.
On the heels of a fascinating survey about breastfeeding in Today's Parent, Katrina Onstad wrote an article called Breastfeeding Sucks in Chatelaine. She wrote:
...what enrages me about my breastfeeding experience (it went terribly both times) isn't that my freedom was so surprisingly and severely curtailed, or that I was once forced to nurse in a filthy bathroom stall, or even the pain itself, it's that I was negated by the very people who claimed me as one of their own. I think that if someone, somewhere in the pro-breastfeeding camp had said: "It will get better. You are doing the best you can," then maybe those first months wouldn't have been such a crazy-making vacillation between profound joy and utter agony.
As a moderator on a breastfeeding support board, I learned how carefully you need to choose your words sometimes. I learned that answering a question by a mom on the Newborn board is not just about answering her question, it is also a therapy session and a cheerleading session.
It is hard though. Hard to find the balance between being truthful and not scaring moms away from breastfeeding (because it does get better). Hard to juggle dealing with real breastfeeding problems that moms are facing and remembering to tell them they are doing a great job. Hard to figure out what is par for the course and what needs immediate attention.
Image credit: sean dreilinger on flickr.
Reader Comments (88)
I was really lucky in breastfeeding both of my kids. They both latched well and I never had nipple pain. I never had to use nipple cream ever.
I had a problem with oversupply so I had quite a bit of pain from engorgement when my milk came in both times - and I'm talking extreme engorgement, normally A cup swollen to the collar bones kind of engorgement. This was an issue for like 24-72 hours but otherwise, I did not experience pain nursing my newborns at all.
I also had to deal with occasional plugged ducts or nipple soreness when baby's latch changed during teething or biting. Overall, my experience was that temporary explainable bouts of pain were to be expected but were shortlived and not the norm of my breastfeeding experience.
I should add that due to the oversupply, letdown also felt like my boobs were being squeezed in vices but again, it was very shortlived pain, more annoying than anything and I knew the cause. I was also able to alleviate it some by block feeding.
Lauren, I'm so sorry to hear that. That was uncalled-for from whoever was telling you that, and suggests they didn't know much about breastfeeding counselling *or* about how to provide good emotional support. That definitely shouldn't happen.
I think we've become too accustomed to pain relief. We're so used to easing any mild pain I think you can breastfeed "correctly" (proper latch, etc) and it may hurt a bit in the beginning. But if it is excruciating, constant, persistent, or lasts past that initial period, then there may be a medical problem.
Thrush can also be a contributing factor to pain related to breast feeding. Oral thrush is very common in babies and can be transferred to the mother's nipples. This can lead to red, sore and itchy nipples which is aggravated even more during breast feeding.
If this is the problem there are some simple and natural ways to relieve the symptoms including; applying yogurt to the nipples and babies mouth and strengthening both immune systems with Probiotic supplements.
A little about my experience...
My son had a shallow latch and, even though my mom and mother-in-law both breastfed, they told me that it's supposed to hurt at first. Three weeks in, I dreaded every feeding. I finally went to a lactation consultant who pointed out the things he was doing wrong and how I can help "teach" him to feed. She sat with me through an entire feeding session.
I was back at 5 weeks with a milk blister. The lactation consultant helped "clear it away." That day we also found I had something called Raynaud's phenomenon. That's when your nipple blanches white after a feeding and you get a painful burning sensation as the color comes back. It hurt a lot, especially with changes in temperature from the baby's mouth to the outside air.
At 8 weeks, we had the yeast-thrush combo.
I have trudged through all of this to have a healthy, breastfed baby. I LOVE breastfeeding. It does hurt at first, but I think it's like when you smell something bad but even though the smell is still there, your nose stops sending your brain the message that it stinks. The same goes for breastfeeding. Eventually, you don't feel the sensations that you did when you first started.
The key is---GET HELP! If you think something is not going right, go ask for help.
Amen Karen!
I experienced nipple pain for the first month of breastfeeding, but I know it was because of a tongue-tie. They told me at the hospital that my baby had one, but I wanted to keep him intact! My husband and his brother both have tongue-ties and their mother had no problem nursing them. I also have flat nipples, so it turned out that the combo was really bad! Once we took care of the tongue-tie, things were great!
I didn't read through all these comments, but I wanted to add that a contributing factor to my pain at the beginning was also the let-down sensation. It doesn't hurt anymore, but at the beginning it stung quite a bit! I thought it was all related to my nipple pain, but realized later the pain was going toward my nipple, and not away from it.
I feel for first time moms with pain! I tell all moms I know that it gets better and so much easier as you both get better at it! :)
I pulled up this post again to send to my best friend who is a new mom. When I read my comment I realized how different every baby is, I have since had my 2nd child and had horrible pain with her. She has a sensitive gag reflex, a strong suck and shallow latch but latch on and began nursing within minutes of birth. Emotionally bf was a breeze with her, but it hurt for a good 4-5 weeks when she latched even with me re positioning and doing all the steps for a good latch.
Anyway I had the confidence I was doing it right, it was just something to get through, I wish I could give that confidence to new moms.
Yes, thank you for voicing that. I am finishing my third week of breastfeeding, and I have been feeling like there's a conspiracy of no one talking about how much breastfeeding can hurt. I've called more people and sought more help for this than for anything to do with pregnancy. Also, LLL consultant and LC--neither told me about breast shells or breast shields. Being told about breast shields had the air of learning about black-market contraband--"LLL will say they are bad." I have chunks out of my nipples; latch is good now, but that does nothing for the damage already done. During engorgement, I couldn't get a proper latch and hand-expression, with my 4 in+ diameter areolas was not possible (yes, I watched a video). Then, due to open nipple wounds I wound up with mastitis/fever. I called and solicited help from at least 9 sources--including home visits. I am grateful I sought help. My sister and I have had similar problems with breastfeeding (similar anatomy, and thankfully she could offer support and encouraged me to aggressively seek help but also let me know that many women had pain and difficulties breastfeeding and that i was not alone. If I had not had support (she was young and w/o help--LC told her a "good feeding was 1 1/2+ hours!) I would have had to switch to formula. When my baby unlatched and there was a dribble of blood down her chin and blood covering my nipple, I wondered how I would ever heal and be successful. I still don't know how the voids of tissue will heal, but we have good latch, several positions, and lanolin--I'm not crying every time. I did not find labor easy or orgasmic by any stretch of the imagination, but breastfeeding is harder for me--it's day in and day out. I'm starting to feel glimmers of the joy it will bring us though :0)
Such a crucial distinction--I finally figured this out on my own; it would have been great for someone to tell me this! Once I understood latch would hurt til I healed, but the whole of the nursing session could be virtually painless, I felt hope and knew my baby and I could continue to BF.
[...] left 66 comments in 2010. She left this insightful comment on my post Does breastfeeding hurt? If it is painful, is something wrong?: One of the most helpful things for me was when I was late into my pregnancy and had joined and mom [...]
I feel much the same about my experience with breastfeeding as I do about my first birth experience: that my experiences go against the rhetoric of the birth and parenting communities who "claim me as their own." Or at least that I claim as my own.
As I've gotten further into this parenting thing, and had a very healing birth experience that STILL led to a hellish breastfeeding experience (3 months and counting...it's getting better, but it's worse than the first breastfeeding experience...) I've also realized that I have to be honest. Breastfeeding can be really really difficult.
Frankly, though I have now breastfed two children, have tandem nursed, and have struggled with many breastfeeding issues (tongue-tie, tense jaws, bleeding nipples, ceasing to latch, oversupply, mastitis, thrush, etc etc), I don't know what breastfeeding is "supposed" to be like at all!
Also, on the topic of tongue-tie -- I told nurses and lactation consultants in the hospital BOTH times that something wasn't right. I even said the second time that my first son had been tongue-tied and we'd had a rough start. They were both tongue-tied and they both were not diagnosed until I was home and hired a lactation consultant. What that heck is that about?
Sarah, I had the voids in my nipples too. I got a prescription for Jack Newman's All Purpose Nipple Ointment and applied it after every nursing session. After a week or so they started to heal and after a few weeks they were completely gone/healed. I would say it took about a month after I got the APNO prescription. I think he has the recipe that you can give to your physician on his website, or if not just send him an email and I'm sure he will send it to you. They will heal though!
The most common time of pain with breast feeding is when babies start to have teeth. This happens around 6th month and this really hurt moms if they decided to breast-feed their babies the whole 2 years or even just 1 year. Bites from these babies will cause redness, sores and pain which could be aggravated by infections like yeast infections specially that oral thrush is very common among infants. Some natural recipes will help moms like those made from honey and yogurt.
My daughter is now 13 weeks old and we are still struggling with breastfeeding. It has been a challenge from the star, with her first not latching on at all, we had to use nipple shields for the first 4 weeks just to get her to drink anything at all. Then after deciding to come off them, I have just had excruciating nipple pain ever since. I have had mastitis in the same breast twice and just nobody can tell me what's wrong because 'everything looks as it should' its just so frustrating! She isnt tongue tied, we don't have thrush and her latch looks fine...so what's going on? Why is it still toe curlingly painful. I am really so determined not to give up and want my daughter to have breast milk do badly but I'm not sure how much more of this I can actually take...when do I say enough is enough? Will it just get better in time or might we struggle indefinitely? She has always been quite fretful at the breast and wants to get on straight away and sometimes gets mad if she can't but other than that I just can't see where we might be going wrong...help!! :(
Hi Nadia,
No one can tell you when "enough is enough." That is a very personal decision. In terms of getting help, if you aren't already, I would recommend working with an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant and also talking to your local chapter of La Leche League. If you do want help online, I would highly recommend posting on the http://forum.kellymom.net/" rel="nofollow">kellymom.com message boards. They are really good at troubleshooting with moms and trying to figure out what might be going wrong.
Hi Nadia,
I am so sorry you're having such a rough time - I have very much been there, and am still there somewhat. Both my boys have been tongue-tied, and my 6-month-old had to have two frenotomies and he still doesn't latch quite right.
I think only you know when enough is enough. I got to the point (despite the fact that I am also nursing my 3-year-old) of contemplating pumping or weaning every day (weaning because, with two kids, I'm not sure how I'd pump frequently enough!). It was a day-at-a-time kind of thing. I'd think about it, but I never came up with a plan for how I would do it (I am also susceptible to mastitis), so the baby would be hungry again and I'd just lift up my shirt and feed him. I'm still nursing, and it has gotten better, but sometimes it still hurts.
The most frustrating part for me was having everyone I talked to about it basically say "he's still not nursing correctly...but there is nothing else I can suggest..."
Definitely work with an IBCLC (or three!) and check out kellymom's forums. You can also go to the forums at www.mothering.com - there was a thread there at one point for moms with untreatable breast pain who were still nursing.
Experience has taught me that no two women have the exact same outcome either during pregnancy or breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding my first born who is a girl was easy, I had no pain while breastfeeding. My only problem was i had too much milk and she was never hungry enough. I had to express about 3 times a day. My son on the other hand was different, he was hungry all the time and i did not seem to have enough milk. So i suffered from cracked nipples and boy it is painful trying to feed on the cracked nipple.
I discovered one thing though, before i would go to breastfeed i would use a warm towel on the nipple and immediately after i would apply vaseline or an aloe vera gel and this helped the healing process. This is the only way I was able to continue to breastfeeding him for 18 months.
I breastfed four children and I was one of those "easy and painless" people. It absolutely did not hurt despite all different midwives telling me that I was doing it wrong, was going to get cracked nipples, etc. from our latch. Just goes to show you it's different for everyone.
The only time I had pain and discomfort was breastfeeding through pregnancy, which I think is pretty normal. That was caused by hormonal changes, tender breasts and a general feeling tapped out/touched out, plus a toddler who was working with pretty much no milk supply for most of the time. However that was a personal choice I made to continue, knowing it would improve when the baby was born. Which it did.
I breastfed my son for 17 months, and five years later I am now on week 7 with my daughter. Both times, I have had mastitis and cracked nipples. This time, everything's working fine on the right and has been for weeks, but on the left (the larger nipple) I have had ongoing problems. And yes, it is still painful -- sometimes very painful -- to feed her on that breast.
Every time I feed her on the left, she fights me. Sometimes she even bites me. Or she falls asleep. Or all three. I have a terrible time getting her to open her mouth wide enough to get a good latch. And even when I get a good latch, she sometimes loses her grip because she squirms so much, or she falls asleep. I read that squirming could be because of oversupply, but my supply is much lower in that breast.
I have to relatch her as many as ten times in one feeding. It takes about 40 minutes for her to empty that breast. If she finds a rhythm, calms down, and nurses well on that breast, and it doesn't hurt, I could cry with joy -- but it can take 20 or 30 minutes of fighting with her and relatching her to reach that point, if it ever reaches that point. And I can never tell what I did to make it work -- what's different about the latch? What's different about her -- is she more/less sleepy? more/less hungry? What's different about me? Is my milk coming in faster/slower? Am I calmer (no!)? etc..... I can't find any answers.
I am sure she feels my stress and dread, and could be reacting to that -- I put a lot of energy into being calm and relaxed, and not dreading the pain, but it's hard. And it's exhausting.
I have gotten cracks so bad with both children that they spit up blood -- the stain on the sheet in week 3 with my daughter was the size of my hand -- they had to run a bunch of tests to make sure it was my blood and not hers.
I have also had milk supply issues on the left -- I periodically have to take fenugreek to get my supply back up. And when I'm not nursing, which is pretty much all the time, I am pumping to keep the supply up.
It took 7 1/2 weeks to iron out all the kinks with my son. My daughter will be 7 weeks old in two days, so I'm hopeful that soon we'll be able to nurse with ease.
A lactation consultant told me that my problems may have to do with the length of the baby's tongue and the height of the roof of the baby's mouth. Couldn't mother nature have made nipples and babies' mouths one size fits all??? (No way mother nature was really a woman, OR a mother...!)
The thing I keep wondering is how women nursed for thousands of years before LLL -- even my mother (who nursed 5 children) says that she didn't have any guidance at all. And yes, she had cracks and pain.
It seems to me that yes, pain could be an indication of poor latch, thrush, mastitis, etc, and therefore must be checked out, but that pain is also quite normal (if you actually talk to women who have nursed), and part of the spectrum of experience with breastfeeding, just as there is a spectrum of experience with childbirth.
I am NOT enjoying nursing right now, but I know from my experience with my son that this time passes, the nipples do toughen up eventually, the baby's mouth grows... for some women it's a few days, for others it's weeks or even months.
FWIW, I am very fair-skinned and my skin is very sensitive. I am using breast shells during the day, Motherlove nipple cream around the clock, and ibuprofen for pain. I am also using "Earth Baby Angel Mama Booby Tubes," which are like soothies that can be heated up or put in the freezer -- when warm, they help with letdown and with plugged ducts or mastitis, and when cold they help with sore nipples.
Anyway I wish I was one of those women who never had an issue -- I'd have more of a social life, and could leave the house occasionally -- and I wouldn't dread nursing so much (on the left anyway).... I am looking forward to being able to nurse with ease. I'm sure my daughter is, too.
I had a lot of pain for the first week especially, then by the end of that week it was better, the following week was better still, and I think a month or two into it was pain free. I remember in the hospital that night after he was born, sitting in bed nursing him. I'd have my face screwed up tight while he nursed---although the nurses of course said "his latch looks perfect." So yes, I think there is just going to be some pain--sometimes intense pain. I never had bleeding nipples, I did have a few cracks at first but those healed. I used the soothies, was religious about the Lanolin after every feeding, and I think just lucky that it wasn't worse. My sister had some horrible problems. Anyway, I think if you're getting bleeding, cracks or sores, or bruises, then it's time to really get some help. But if it's just the first month and it's just pain...maybe intense but not unbearable...then I think that's normal.
My experience with breastfeeding was very painful from the start, mostly due to problems that took weeks to fix: poor latch, injured nipples, thrush (which I've had again at least six times over the last year & a half). Then came the biting, which he's stopped, but I still get tooth imprints on my nipple.
17 months of breastfeeding & I still usually have discomfort with let down. It varies, depending on the time of day, but sometimes it's verging on painful for 30 seconds to a minute. Once the milk gets going, it's fine (except for trying to find a position that's comfortable where he won't be tugging on my breast).
I think there has to be some kind of middle ground between the 'breastfeeding is all rainbows & unicorns' & 'just tough it out'. I don't think the official line from midwives, doctors, LCs, nurses, etc, or more advertising campaigns are really that helpful. That stuff all has its place, I'm not saying it's not valuable, but maybe we need to go back to the way breastfeeding knowledge use to be passed on: from family & friends. Breastfeeding openly everywhere & talking about our experiences lots so that women who haven't had babies yet will learn about it that way. & ditch the freaking nursing covers already--how will anybody see what nursing looks like & how normal it is if there's a tent over it all the time?
I wrote a post about this a while ago (http://thechickadeetweet.blogspot.com/2011/01/things-were-not-allowed-to-say.html) It's my own experience about the fact that there WAS no fix for my sore nipples. I did everything possible, and they continued to be sore well into my second month postpartum. It was due to my daughter's high palate, and nothing could fix that but time. Thanks so much for writing about this - I'm so tired of the "it's not supposed to hurt" refrain, because sometimes, it really does.
I think it's great if some women want to show other women in public how nursing is done, but personally I don't feel that every woman needs to "ditch the nursing cover" just so that the rest of society can learn how to breastfeed. That's not my personal responsibility---my responsibility is to feed my child in whatever way works best for both of us. If this involves a nursing cover so I can feel comfortable doing it in public, then great, now I won't need to feed my child a bottle in public. Not all of us are comfortable baring our breasts in public. To those who are, more power to ya! But don't look down on others for using a nursing cover.
I do think *more* women need to breastfeed in public without covers to facilitate the normalization of breastfeeding, but I don't think that any specific woman should be forced to nurse in a way that makes her uncomfortable.
I created a video illustrating my point. If you haven't seen it, please check it out: http://www.phdinparenting.com/2011/02/20/coveringup
I have a sister who definitely had zero issues with breastfeeding. She said it never hurt. Her babies just latched on and were good to go.
For me, I had been told that it was normal for it to hurt, so I let it hurt. By the time my son was 5 days old I dreaded nursing, it made my toes curl from pain and my nipples were scabbed and I bled every time he latched on. I saw my midwife, a lactation consultant, etc. Everyone said he had a wonderful latch and I could attest to the fact that he had a strong, hoover vacuum-like latch. But when I went in at 5 days old, to check his bilirubin levels as he was severely jaundiced, the nurse practitioner asked me how everything was going and I broke down bawling in the middle of the waiting area surrounded by a ton of other parents and children. She took me into an exam room and after a minute of watching me nurse gave a tiny tug to my son's chin and said he was tucking in just the tiniest bit of his lower lip. And she was right. Every time I nursed, for a few weeks till he caught on, I had to tug his little chin and the latch was 1000 times better. I was so severely injured by the bad latch it took me about 2 weeks to heal, but I will never tell another new mom it is supposed to hurt. I think the Dr. Jack Newman quote is spot on. I wouldn't want another new mom going through what I did. I had two natural births, the first at a birthing center and the second at home and what my kids ingest and put on their bodies is extremely important to me, but had the pediatrician or my husband or anyone said, "It's okay, just give him formula" I would have jumped at the suggestion. It was just excruciating. With my second son we had some latch difficulties (good initial latch and then he'd pull back and mess it up). It just took teaching him a bit and it was fine. But I knew better this time and didn't let him latch on incorrectly. I went on to nurse my first son till he self-weaned at 15.5 months and recently my second son weaned at a bit passed 2. I loved nursing.
But I do think that it's important to note that there was a specific cause to your pain. I think the point is that basic breastfeeding, minus the possible issues should not be excruciatingly painful. When there are issues, which are obviously common, then pain can occur. It does hurt, but because of something. When told it's going to hurt, it can make a mother, like me, fail to correct those issues causing the pain since "it's supposed to hurt". I wish I'd had more people telling me that if it was hurting as badly as it was, that there was something wrong and that I didn't need to just push on. I think I would have fixed what was going on a lot sooner.
I think it's a balance.
Yep the high palate was the culprit with my daughter, too, and she was also sucking her bottom lip in a bit. The first two months, I had to continually pull her bottom lip out, which would often ruin the latch, so I'd relatch her.... then repeat, repeat, repeat. I was in tears often because of the pain and the frustration. I just wanted her to eat, and I wanted it to not hurt. It really affected the pleasure of having a newborn -- I just wanted her to get bigger.
See my earlier post -- I was in the midst of that misery -- it was a looooong road to get to the point where it no longer hurts. I would say a good 9 weeks. At that point, she was big enough to get a good mouthful. Now, at 11 weeks, my milk supply on the left side is still working itself out because of all the ups and downs we had.
The language about breastfeeding often implies that the reasons why it may hurt are the mother's fault. What is she doing wrong? You're so right, Mo, to suggest that it's not right either for mothers to feel like they should just push on if it hurts and it'll get better soon, when there may be things she can do to lessen the pain. Somewhere in the middle, a balance, like you said....
This blog was more helpful than any resource I looked at because it showed a myriad of experience for breastfeeding mothers. To feel I was not alone, that other mothers went through the same thing and still went on to nurse, was something I clung to in some of those desperate, painful times when I curled my toes and just wanted to give up. It showed that balance between "yes there is a reason" and "no it's not necessarily your fault" that I so badly needed to hear.
you're right - balance! As Annie said, it's a fine line between "it can hurt" and "it never hurts." I think mother-guilt makes us automatically assume that we did something wrong if it's hurting
[...] Image by sean dreilinger used here [...]
"A little tenderness in the beginning is common" that's a huge under statement. Ive breastfed 3 children for 2 1/2 years a piece and each time it was excruciating the first few days not "a little tender" and many of my other friends have said the same. The claim its poor latch which is what all the books and peoplle will say is just plain false. It is very painful at the beginning for lots of us. Not trying to impede on people nursing its obviously the only proper way to care for an infant just wanted to bring my truth to this discussion.
I am currently feeding baby number four so i would say i am an experianced feeder i thought the books were right and brest feeding at the worst was a little tender till baby number 3 came along and litrally sucked the skin off my nipple he latched on perfectly and there was nothing wrong with my nipples he just sucked to hard. I persivered thinking i was doing somthing wrong it was not till my son had pink milk dribling from his mouth after a feed that i could do it no more he happily went on to a bottle and my nipples healed. Every baby is an individual evan latching on perfectly, breastfeed can hurt it may hurt with the first baby and not the second or vice versa like i said i am now feeding #4 and she is 16mths and we have never had any major pain
I am a bit confused by all of this...While I was pregnant the first time, I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (the La Leche League book), so I knew why I wanted to try, and I knew what to expect. Of course you can't just pick up your first newborn and nurse it without difficulty! But the women of LLL are amazing and they will help with any problem, and it is free.
My first was born in Germany, and I was too shy to call on a German LLL group. Elinor developed nipple confusion, because the German hospital wouldn't honor my request that no artificial nipples be offered. We had a hard time getting nursing established, and it became quite painful. Sometimes I would sit and weep as I nursed her. But just as the book said, the pain leveled off and then began to diminish, and by six weeks we were a happy nursing pair. It never hurt again.
With my next baby I was a pro, and he was latching on well an hour after birth. I just started to have some pain on day two, and then my milk came in and that was that--no problems at all. My final pregnancy produced twins, and I put my practice to good use and nursed them without difficulty or pain, although it was a bit tricky to position them at first.
Painless breastfeeding is very real and achievable! Don't give up! Call LLL (or at least read the book) and learn to position your baby properly and get it latched on so that you are both comfortable. It isn't automatic, nor instinctive. With our big brains we need to start at zero and learn. It is so very worth it.
My twins turn 18 this month, and the asthma that nearly killed them when they were tiny hardly ever rears its head. Credit breastfeeding!
Please take heart and seek help if you need it. Best of luck.
I breastfed 3 kids, and it hurt, with every child, every day, every feed until I weaned them. They were latched on correctly, it was the let down that hurt, and it wasn't discomfort, it was *pain*. I still occasionally get flashbacks. I saw professionals, and they told me everything was fine, I was just "one of the lucky ones for whom it will hurt the whole time". I still chose to breastfeed over mucking about with bottles, but it is kinda demoralising to find the general attitude towards painful feeding is that you're doing it wrong. Struggling AND being told it's your own fault is pretty offensive.
I have heard many, many times: "it doesn't hurt if you're doing it right." I found it positively dispiriting and it actually kept me from seeing an LC sooner. When, at a month, with giant nipple fissures that started as bad bruises at her first feeding and progressed from there, the LC told me her latch was fine, I cried. Of course, it hurt, so it was bad latch, right? I had been trying to fix it . Over and over. Because what could the LC or the doctor do that the Internet had not?
The truth is, they did not do or say anything - except to tell me that we were not doing it wrong. That it did hurt. That two inverted nipples, even if "it's not called nipple feeding, it's called breast feeding!" might actually cause difficulties. That large nipples CAN be too big for baby's mouth and that whoever designs breast shields ought to think about nipples larger than medium. That the "football hold for large breasts" is not some rule that has to work for everyone, and it didn't work for my L-cups. That they were sorry about using lanolin when I said I was allergic even if it is hypoallergenic. That breastfeeding is not the same for everyone. That non-stick wound pads are the best thing ever invented.
But you know? Even after I healed (at 13 weeks on one side and 16 on the other, after alternating pumping and feeding for all that time), it still wasn't comfortable. It didn't get totally painless until...ever...and we are at 21 months. But the foot stomping and crying pain? Well, that was over around 5 months. So, yeah, I would never ever tell someone it doesn't hurt, even when everything is right. But worth the magic of a baby who can be calmed, who will sleep, who drinks despite a sore throat, who is giant and healthy. But yeah, that person who says there must be something wrong if there's pain? They get punched. Dr Newman or not.
I do realize this is an old post, but I'm reading it now because you linked to it for me this morning on Facebook. (Thank you!)
From what I understand, you think that telling a mom "it's not supposed to hurt" will make her feel like she's doing something wrong if she does feel pain. I see how this could happen...
But I agree with what another commenter said above, "I think that breastfeeding advocates say that it shouldn't hurt (...) not because we're trying to be rah-rah, breastfeeding is happy and fun and fabulous. It's because in many, many cases moms encounter breastfeeding problems in the early days of nursing, especially with their first baby. And you don't want to say, "Pain is normal," and then have a mom try to soldier through a problem and become discouraged (...).
When I talk to new moms, I try to emphasize the difference between "mild discomfort" and "toe-curling pain." You absolutely want to get any pain addressed right away. Lack of support in the early days is probably the number one reason why so many moms say they experienced pain early on! It does go away as mom and baby find their groove, but really, if latch could be corrected (and/or any other problems diagnosed) right away, moms wouldn't have to endure any toe-curling pain at all.