Typology of the Mommy Blogger

What is a Mommy Blogger?

Am I one?

Do I want to be one?

These thoughts have been racing through my head as I have read various media reports and blog posts leading up to and following BlogHer 09. When a lot of bloggers I know see the mainstream media talking about mommy bloggers, they want to scream or do scream: "BUT THAT IS NOT US!". Some react by rejecting the term and saying that they are not a mommy blogger and others see a need to correct misinformation, to remove the negative connotations, and to reclaim the label.

The chatter, the media sensationalism, the battles, the hurt feelings, the soap boxes, they all reminded me so much of the whole bad mother thing that I decided it was time to write a Typology of the Mommy Blogger as a sequel to my Typology of the Bad Mother.

Here goes...

When you hear the term mommy blogger, what do you think of?

Here are the different types or interpretations I have discovered so far:

• Diary of a mom bloggers: According to The Mommy Blogger, mommy blogging is just a mom blogging about motherhood. There are certainly a large number of blogs out there that are mostly a diary of the life of a mom, talking about her daily adventures and misadventures raising her kids, sharing pictures of the kids, letting friends know what funny things they did recently or which milestones they met. A few blogs that I think fit this category well most of the time are Loulou's Views or Capital Mom.

• Therapy bloggers: I have heard moms say that they blog for their sanity. Going from being in a corporate environment and having an active social life to being at home all day with a baby can make you go a little bit loopy. Some people go to playgroups. Some people blog. Women use their blogs as a way to express what they are feeling, get things off their chest, and seek support from and give support to other moms in the same situation. Some blog generally about mothering and others have built communities of support on specific issues like raising a child with autism.

• Humour bloggers: Some mommy bloggers are funny. They are great writers and are able to take insights from their life as a mom, from their kids, from society, in order to write posts that will make you laugh and cry. For some maybe this is the same as therapy, but for others it may be an important creative outlet. Tanis from Attack of the Redneck Mommy says: "I call myself a humourist not a mommyblogger because I don't always focus on my kids. And mommyblogger sounds stupid."

• Infomercial or review bloggers: Some mommy bloggers write primarily about products and services that might be of interest to others like them. Most of them receive pitches from public relations people who are interested in getting the word out about their product and agree to blog about the products in exchange for a free sample. Some get paid too, but it seems like the vast majority are doing it just for free stuff. Some do this on the side while blogging about other things and for some it is the primary purpose of their blog. The people that are in blogging just for the stuff or just for the cash have been criticized and made to look bad lately in the media, as well as in great posts like I'm Calling out the Carpetbagging Mommybloggers (with more than 250 comments!) and SwagHer09. Some do Blog with Integrity, but those that don't...well, they seem to get all the attention (yes, the attention they were seeking).

• Social commentary inspired by mothering: Becoming a mother can give a woman a new perspective on life and on society. The Australian author of  the feminist mothering blog Blue Milk says  "I am happy to wear the label 'mommy blogger', motherhood is what motivated me to start writing a blog, it is owed its dues."  Another of my favourites, Arwyn from Raising my Boychick, provides fascinating social commentary on the kyriarchy. She doesn't embrace the term mommy blogger because of the stereotype (rich white SAHM writing about adorable kids), her dislike of the word "mommy" and the fact that she is more than a mother. A Mother in Israel doesn't really consider herself a mommy blogger either. She says: "sometimes I write about motherhood, not my children specifically. I like to say my blog is social commentary."

• Social change bloggers: Some mommy bloggers are writing to advocate for social change. Some of them are focused on one key issue, such as birth, breastfeeding, feminism, or the environment. Some focus on all social issues that face moms and one community blog that has brought those voices together is Moms Rising.

• Research and tips bloggers: Some mommy bloggers want to share what they have learned along the way. That can mean sharing what they have read in books or magazines or just things that worked for them. The Rookie Moms blog focuses on tips for new moms, Rocks in My Dryer started a popular weekly Works-for-Me Wednesday blog carnival where people can contribute their tips, which has now moved over to We Are THAT Family, and the Curious Parent seeks out answers to questions he has about parenting issues and shares them with his readers (oops...guess I've thrown a daddy blogger in my with my mommy bloggers). Some blog on a more specific topic, like 5 Dollar Dinners, who shares her frugal dinner recipes daily, or a specific geographic area, like Andrea from a peek inside the fishbowl, who blogs about the best of Ottawa for parents and kids.

• News and sensationalism bloggers: Some mommy bloggers like attention and love being in the middle of a juicy news story or scandal. They scour the Internet and the blogosphere for the stories most likely to cause an uproar and quickly throw up their opinion for the world to comment on. They enjoy a good back and forth with a troll or two now and again.

• A mom, who blogs: For a lot of people a mommy blogger is a mom, who blogs. Even if she happens to blog about technology, politics, food, travel or another topic altogether. There are many women who are mothers, but do not usually write about mothering. They write about other aspects of their lives. There seems to be an assumption that if you are a mom and especially if you use the word "mom" or "mommy" in your blog name or twitter name that you are writing about being a mom. To be honest, if you use the word "mommy" in your online brand, I don't blame people who make that assumption. I wouldn't put the word "mom" or "mommy" in my blog name or twitter name if I wasn't writing about being a mom. Just like I wouldn't call my store a bakery if I didn't sell baked goods.

• Hot chicks: It appears that for some, mommy blogging is the equivalent to being the cover model in the latest issue of Glamour or being selected as America's Next Top Model. In fact, there are awards for the Hottest mommy blogger. Is this helpful? Really? Not the best way to be taken seriously for your writing, IMO.

• Bit of this, bit of that bloggers: Some women blog about a lot of different things. One day, they may blog about a parenting issue. The next day they may blog about a recipe. The day after that, they may blog about birth issues, then about protecting the environment, and then about their own personal health. One of my favourite bloggers in this category is Amy from the Crunchy Domestic Goddess. Her personal brand, her personal self includes all of those things. She is not just a mommy. She is a mommy and much much more. The author of Womanst Musings describes herself that way too. She says: "I am mommy blogger because I have children however I refuse to allow that to be my whole identity."

• Keeping mommies in their place: "Oh, you're not a real blogger. You're just a mommy blogger." Yeah. That's how some people think it seems. Just like, you don't have a real job, you're just a stay at home mom. Or you're not a real person, you're just a woman. A lot of women reject the term mommy blogger because, as Bri from Unwellness says, "it feels so reductive and condescending" or as Tara from Feels Like Home says "it connotes insignificance and unintelligence, as if all moms who blog are flippant and write (poorly) about trivilaity." Amber from Strocel says that she is a mommy blogger, but says "I think the mommyblogger label can be deliberately diminutive & is often used to remove credibility."

• Women: It seems some people think that if you are a woman and you blog, you must be a mommy blogger. At least this is what some of my childless blog and twitter friends tell me. Sassymonkey, a book blogger who has no kids, has had enough of the "Dear Mommy Blogger" pitches asking her to weigh in on issues related to midwives or babies. Is there really still a societal assumption that all women are mothers? That all female bloggers must be mommy bloggers?

Now, before you get all up in arms and think I'm criticizing every type of Mommy Blogger out there, I am not. I probably fit into most of these categories some of the time.

My reasons for blogging are as diverse as I am. I have many identities. I am a person, a woman, a wife, a mother, an entrepreneur, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a socialist, a concerned citizen, a feminist, a lactivist, an activist, an environmentalist, and much much more.This blog happens to be about parenting issues, but I do not call myself a mommy blogger, both because of the assumptions and negative connotations that come with the term, and because I don't want or need a label to define me or a box to put myself in.

Not everyone feels the same way. There are lots of people who own the mommy blogger label and do it with pride. I commend them.

Want to read more? Check out:

• Top 10 misconceptions about mommy bloggers


• Mommybloggers: Integrity, Community and Taking Back the Respect We Earned


• Not all bloggers are like that


• Don't call me a mommy blogger


• Mommy Blogging: Its not just unicorns and roses

Thank you to everyone on twitter who answered my question: "What is a mommy blogger? Are you one? Why or why not?" All of your replies were critical to the development of this post, even though I couldn't work all of them into my narrative.

Comments

[Lady Mama]

Good post.

I don't really have a label for myself. I'm a mum, a writer, a woman, a humorist. Whatever. I started my blog after I had my first child and had no other outlet for creative writing. I write about parenting issues, movies, my addiction to chocolate, my kids, politics.

While I don't tend to label myself, I'm not against being called a mommy blogger, though I prefer, as Mom-101 noted, to be a parenting blogger.

[Missy @ Marketing Mama]

This is a great post, with lots of great links. I think I just opened up 10 new windows and have a lot of reading ahead of me. I'm a bit-of-this, bit-of-that blogger. I write about parenting, but also issues like breastfeeding, food allergies, and even throw recipes in from time to time.

The phrase mommy-blogger makes me cringe, yet I've used it to describe myself at times. Strange. Thanks!

[Laura McIntyre]

Im a mummy blogger and proud of it, i mainly blog about my day to day life and thats what i enjoy. I don't get the big deal about it

[Loukia]

Great post, and great comments from all. I'm just a mom who likes to blog... I don't have a problem being called a mommy blogger... I just don't really see a need for labels one way or the other1

[Casey (Raising Smart Girls)]

Ha - I wish I could be a humorist mom blogger (but that would require me to actually find humor and I always struggle with that one), but one of my blogs falls under the therapy category as I use one for journaling my daughter's selective mutism journey (which she's overcoming!!!!) and my own crap as a former scientist turned SAHM, and two would be a "Parent as Teacher" blogs - there's a ton of blogs devoted to homeschooling or (in my case) supplementing a public school education. I teach a lot of math and science to my kids.

By the way, I nominated you for an Honest Scrap Award -

You can check it out here at my blog, The Wonder Years - http://growinginpeace.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/honest-scrap-award/" rel="nofollow">Honest Scrap award. I know you are busy. Feel free to participate, or not. Just wanted to let you know I appreciate your thought provoking commentary!

[Casey (Raising Smart Girls)]

Oh, and I wanted to add, while I shake my head at all the stupidity of all the ways someone can criticize another, it would mean I actually had to free up head space to actually be offended by it. It's one of the reasons why I'm not much of an activist. I put a lot of research into how I do things, but overall don't a rat's butt if someone else does things or criticizes my way of doing things. I'm pretty confident in my parenting, in my blogging, in the way I express myself and raise my kids.

[pink and green mama (MaryLea)]

Great post. So I'm a mom. And I'm a blogger.
But I don't really fit into any of your categories.
I would add my niche, Crafty and Green Mama Bloggers.

[* TONYA *]

Am I a mommy blogger?

I mean sure I have a mom blog. Where I rave on and on about my kids and post way too many photographs of them.

BUT

I also run a craft blog and a party planning blog.

I guess I don't like to see myself as being labeled as a 'mommy blogger' because there is more to me and more to my blogging than 'mommy blogging'.

I guess I classify myself as a 'this and that blogger' :)

[Florida Girl In Sydney]

Great post. I'm completely baffled which category I fall into-- I kind of want to slice myself up into about five of those blogger types, but that would be yucky, and bloody, and well-- forget it.

[Rational Jenn]

I'm in it for the Absolute Momnipotent Power! :o) (And, you know, other things, too.)

http://rationaljenn.blogspot.com/2009/10/look-on-my-works-ye-mighty-and-despair.html

[Does the world see moms the sa]

[...] are a diverse community. Diverse enough that there are moms who write about making crafts, tutus, felt food, or slings. [...]

[Mommy Blogger: Love it or hate]

[...] are clubs, discussion boards, great information and writing, like this from PhD in Parenting,  Typology of the Mommy Blogger gives a great breakdown of types of Mommy Bloggers and links to them as [...]

[Marinka]

I'm a humor blogger, which is related to humour blogger.

[ebbandflo aka pomomama]

There are so many of us writing online and we're definitely not all mommybloggers.
Personally I'm a mummy (oh how I hate the 'misspelled for me' version) and I blog and I'm blogging about my life as a mother ..... so I guess I could be one, but I could just as well be writing about my new life in Vancouver (which I did when I ran a webpage for my dog and his walks in his new neighbourhood/country when we emigrated so our friends back in the UK could stay up to date) as I am writing about the thrills of throwing a mid life crisis around parenting a Grade 1 kid and running/establishing a work-from-home business/new career.

You didn't mention the mid-life crisis mommybloggers ...........

[phdinparenting]

Kind of like Americans are related to Canadians? ;)

[Is this a mommy blog? «]

[...] August, Annie at PhD in Parenting put me in the mommy blogger category of “Social commentary inspired by parenting“, which sounds about right to me, [...]

[mamarolf]

When I first started blogging a few years ago, I did it as a bit of a diary for family and friends to follow. I'd like the think I've grown since then. And, since I don't seem to fit in to a specific category, I'll say I'm a "Bit of this, bit of that" blogger.

Call me a mommyblogger, call me Fred... I don't care all that much. Just don't. take. away. my. blog! :)

[Kristina]

I would have to say, I'm a little of this and a lot of that but most of it has to do with my position in the Islamic Community as a Non-Muslim. So, I guess I'm a little research & tips style too.

[blue milk]

Really interesting summary of the thinking and interpretation of this term, makes for very interesting reading. Thank you.

[Karen]

I dislike the term mommy blogger because the first time I ever heard it - before I had a blog myself - it was used in a derogatory manner. I do wish we could do away with that kind of label. Aren't "mommy bloggers" actually "bloggers"? Just as "tech bloggers" are "bloggers"? Does it have to be defined?

I always go back to the point that you don't hear women called a Mommy CEO or a Mommy Administrative Assistant or a Mommy Construction Worker. So, why Mommy Blogger?

I fall into the little of this, little of that category, which definitely means there are posts about my child/family life thrown in. But that is by no means the sum of all that I write about. I would feel that referring to myself as a mommy blogger is far too limiting and inaccurate - even if I was okay with the term.

[Dana K]

Excellent breakdown. Society still seems to want to put women of any group under the same umbrella, if that makes sense. The term "mommy blogger" doesn't bother me, but the term "mommy" doesn't bother me. (I've read several posts about why "mommy" should be offensive; I just don't have the same life experiences for any of the reasons I've read to ring true for me)

The moms who blog are as diverse as any group of people. The only subset that gets on my nerves are the ones who would be just as comfortable hawking goods on late nigh television & the blogs that (rather obviously) write solely to stir up controversy & drive traffic to their sites.

Having just typed that, I am now wondering if this is somehow sexist on my part. Would I have the same issues with a man whose blog fit into either category?

Great post. You have obviously made me think.

[Because, links « blue mi]

[...] This break down of ‘mummy blogger’ types at PhD in Parenting. (I’m in a category, guess which one?) When a lot of bloggers I know see the mainstream media talking about mommy bloggers, they want to scream or do scream: “BUT THAT IS NOT US!”. Some react by rejecting the term and saying that they are not a mommy blogger and others see a need to correct misinformation, to remove the negative connotations, and to reclaim the label. [...]

[Lipstick]

This is good analysis however I do not understand why mommy blogger has any negative connotations? What is wrong about being one? I used to blog about random things...now I have child, I blog more about mommy things...

[Nicholas Duka]

Good web site! I truly love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I am wondering how I might be notified when a new post has been made. I've subscribed to your feed which must do the trick! Have a great day!

[Mommy Blogger, Mummy Blogger;]

[...] mommy blogger. After a brief exchange of direct messages on twitter, and me sharing my piece on the Typology of the Mommy Blogger, she asked me if I could provide a quote explaining my reasons for not wanting to be called a mommy [...]