Monday
Mar162009
The Case Against Breastfeeding: Is it Anti-Feminist?
Monday, March 16, 2009
In her article The Case Against Breastfeeding in The Atlantic, Hanna Rosin attacks breastfeeding from both a scientific and feminist perspective. I plan to respond to both of them, but the scientific one will take more research and I may only get to it next month (Here it is: The Scientific Benefits of Breastfeeding). However, the feminist one is much easier to address. In summary, Rosin questions whether breastfeeding is right for every family or whether it is "this generation's vacuum cleaner - an instrument of misery that mostly just keeps women down". While I can concede that breastfeeding is not right for every woman or every family, I don't see it as an instrument of misery that keeps women down. Here is why...
Rosin argues that women bear the strain of making breastfeeding work and that this exposes the ideal of an equal marriage, with two parents happily taking turns working and raising children, as a farce. She also explains that being stuck at home breastfeeding as he walked out the door for work just made her unreasonably furious at him and everyone else.
Did Rosin and her husband forget to have a conversation about how they were going to achieve an equal marriage? Because it seems she assumed that was just going to magically happen while he assumed she would be the primary caregiver. If she was furious at him, that's fine. But that says more about their relationship dynamics than it does about breastfeeding. Was she asking for him to make an equivalent contribution? Or was she just hoping to be equally uninvolved in her child's life?
Rosin talks about a Babytalk story that calls breastfeeding induced "maternal nirvana" and goes on to explain that with her third child, nirvana did not describe her state of mind. She was launching a new Web site and had to other children to care for and a husband she would occasionally like to talk to.
First, I guess I missed the breastfeeding class where they said that you are not allowed to talk while breastfeeding because I found it an awful lot easier to have conversations with people while breastfeeding than I do when trying to chase a toddler and listen to a preschooler. Second, I'm not sure how formula feeding would make it easier to find time to speak with her husband. Presumably, if she isn't feeding the baby, he is and therefore he must be in the baby feeding cone of silence and not able to talk to her.
In terms of having two other children to take care of, mastering the art of nursing in a sling was key for me. My son and I didn't let the baby or her need to breastfeed stop us from doing anything that we wanted to do during the summer that I was on maternity leave. In fact, we felt lucky to not be saddled with the responsibility of always ensuring we had enough bottles with us, finding a place to warm those bottles up, and rushing home if we ran out.
With regards to launching her Web site, I was able to work easily at my computer with a sleeping or nursing baby on a boppy pillow, in a sling, or laying next to me. When I did go back to the office, as a senior white collar professional (like Rosin), I had access to a closed office and could easily pump hands-free in my office while working. If such as space had not been available to me, I am a strong enough woman and feminist that I wouldn't have been embarrassed to ask for it. I also pumped countless times in my car when I was rushing to and from various meetings and in a pinch took a 5 minute bathroom break to pump off the edge with a manual pump. It is not the all consuming huge problem that Rosin makes it out to be. As a feminist, I consider it my right to work. As a feminist mother, I consider it my right to insist on conditions that allow me to pump for my baby.
Rosin says that recently she and her husband noticed that they had reached an age at which friends from high school now hold positions of serious power, but they had to work hard to find any women on that list and she wonders why they disappeared during they years they had small children.
I wonder, did they all breastfeed? Or were the women that chose formula just as disadvantaged? I think this speaks more to society's expectation that the mom be the one to stay home than it does about breastfeeding versus formula feeding. I would also question whether "positions of serious power" is necessarily what all women want. I want to be successful in my career, I want to provide for my family, but I have personally left and turned down several positions of power because it wasn't the type of career I wanted. I wanted one where I was independent and flexible because I think that provides for a much better quality of life for me and for my family.
She also says that breastfeeding exclusively is not like taking a prenatal vitamin. It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way. She goes on to explain that when people say breastfeeding is free, she wants to hit them with a two-by-four and that it is only free if a woman's time is worth nothing.
Again, she is making huge assumptions here. First, I managed to breastfeed exclusively and work in a meaningful way. I took 3 months of leave with my son and 6 months of leave with my daughter, but I continued pumping at work until my son was 12 months old and until my daughter was 18 months old. But I never stopped work to do so. I just hooked myself up to a hands-free pump and continued working while I pumped.
Again, in terms of a woman's time, if she is spending some time breastfeeding then perhaps her husband can take on some other duties that she might otherwise be doing during the time she has to spend breastfeeding. Having an equal marriage doesn't mean splitting every task equally (he gives one bottle, I give one bottle, he washes one load of diapers, I wash one load of diapers). It means ensuring that things are split evenly overall.
Having children is a serious time commitment. But it is one that can be shared. I breastfed, but other than my short leave my husband is the one staying at home with our kids until they go to preschool at age 3. That is what works for us. It may not be what works for another family. Coming up with something that works for both partners is important, but blaming breastfeeding for preventing women from earning an income is ridiculous.
What about pregnancy Hanna?
In all of this talk about the shackles that come with breastfeeding, Hanna Rosin is shockingly silent about pregnancy. I mean I assume she carried and birthed each of those three children that she has. I know that some women love pregnancy, but I didn't. It tied me down a lot more than breastfeeding ever did. It meant that I couldn't drink alcohol for 9 months and I had to cut back on my coffee habit. It meant I had to avoid certain foods because of the indigestion or morning sickness that they caused. It meant that I didn't sleep well. It meant that I had to wear horribly unflattering clothing and allow my body to get all stretched out. It meant that I had to give up team sports that I love so dearly and replace them with prenatal fitness classes that were not my cup of tea. Where is Rosin when you need her? Why isn't she fighting the case against pregnancy? Why isn't she advocating for test tube babies?
There are biological differences between men and women (some pleasant and some unpleasant), but accepting those doesn't mean accepting inequality. If both parents are committed to making an equal contribution (not an equal lack of contribution) to their child's life, then there is a way to split things up so that breastfeeding doesn't become an unfair burden on the mother.
Rosin argues that women bear the strain of making breastfeeding work and that this exposes the ideal of an equal marriage, with two parents happily taking turns working and raising children, as a farce. She also explains that being stuck at home breastfeeding as he walked out the door for work just made her unreasonably furious at him and everyone else.
Did Rosin and her husband forget to have a conversation about how they were going to achieve an equal marriage? Because it seems she assumed that was just going to magically happen while he assumed she would be the primary caregiver. If she was furious at him, that's fine. But that says more about their relationship dynamics than it does about breastfeeding. Was she asking for him to make an equivalent contribution? Or was she just hoping to be equally uninvolved in her child's life?
Rosin talks about a Babytalk story that calls breastfeeding induced "maternal nirvana" and goes on to explain that with her third child, nirvana did not describe her state of mind. She was launching a new Web site and had to other children to care for and a husband she would occasionally like to talk to.
First, I guess I missed the breastfeeding class where they said that you are not allowed to talk while breastfeeding because I found it an awful lot easier to have conversations with people while breastfeeding than I do when trying to chase a toddler and listen to a preschooler. Second, I'm not sure how formula feeding would make it easier to find time to speak with her husband. Presumably, if she isn't feeding the baby, he is and therefore he must be in the baby feeding cone of silence and not able to talk to her.
In terms of having two other children to take care of, mastering the art of nursing in a sling was key for me. My son and I didn't let the baby or her need to breastfeed stop us from doing anything that we wanted to do during the summer that I was on maternity leave. In fact, we felt lucky to not be saddled with the responsibility of always ensuring we had enough bottles with us, finding a place to warm those bottles up, and rushing home if we ran out.
With regards to launching her Web site, I was able to work easily at my computer with a sleeping or nursing baby on a boppy pillow, in a sling, or laying next to me. When I did go back to the office, as a senior white collar professional (like Rosin), I had access to a closed office and could easily pump hands-free in my office while working. If such as space had not been available to me, I am a strong enough woman and feminist that I wouldn't have been embarrassed to ask for it. I also pumped countless times in my car when I was rushing to and from various meetings and in a pinch took a 5 minute bathroom break to pump off the edge with a manual pump. It is not the all consuming huge problem that Rosin makes it out to be. As a feminist, I consider it my right to work. As a feminist mother, I consider it my right to insist on conditions that allow me to pump for my baby.
Rosin says that recently she and her husband noticed that they had reached an age at which friends from high school now hold positions of serious power, but they had to work hard to find any women on that list and she wonders why they disappeared during they years they had small children.
I wonder, did they all breastfeed? Or were the women that chose formula just as disadvantaged? I think this speaks more to society's expectation that the mom be the one to stay home than it does about breastfeeding versus formula feeding. I would also question whether "positions of serious power" is necessarily what all women want. I want to be successful in my career, I want to provide for my family, but I have personally left and turned down several positions of power because it wasn't the type of career I wanted. I wanted one where I was independent and flexible because I think that provides for a much better quality of life for me and for my family.
She also says that breastfeeding exclusively is not like taking a prenatal vitamin. It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way. She goes on to explain that when people say breastfeeding is free, she wants to hit them with a two-by-four and that it is only free if a woman's time is worth nothing.
Again, she is making huge assumptions here. First, I managed to breastfeed exclusively and work in a meaningful way. I took 3 months of leave with my son and 6 months of leave with my daughter, but I continued pumping at work until my son was 12 months old and until my daughter was 18 months old. But I never stopped work to do so. I just hooked myself up to a hands-free pump and continued working while I pumped.
Again, in terms of a woman's time, if she is spending some time breastfeeding then perhaps her husband can take on some other duties that she might otherwise be doing during the time she has to spend breastfeeding. Having an equal marriage doesn't mean splitting every task equally (he gives one bottle, I give one bottle, he washes one load of diapers, I wash one load of diapers). It means ensuring that things are split evenly overall.
Having children is a serious time commitment. But it is one that can be shared. I breastfed, but other than my short leave my husband is the one staying at home with our kids until they go to preschool at age 3. That is what works for us. It may not be what works for another family. Coming up with something that works for both partners is important, but blaming breastfeeding for preventing women from earning an income is ridiculous.
What about pregnancy Hanna?
In all of this talk about the shackles that come with breastfeeding, Hanna Rosin is shockingly silent about pregnancy. I mean I assume she carried and birthed each of those three children that she has. I know that some women love pregnancy, but I didn't. It tied me down a lot more than breastfeeding ever did. It meant that I couldn't drink alcohol for 9 months and I had to cut back on my coffee habit. It meant I had to avoid certain foods because of the indigestion or morning sickness that they caused. It meant that I didn't sleep well. It meant that I had to wear horribly unflattering clothing and allow my body to get all stretched out. It meant that I had to give up team sports that I love so dearly and replace them with prenatal fitness classes that were not my cup of tea. Where is Rosin when you need her? Why isn't she fighting the case against pregnancy? Why isn't she advocating for test tube babies?
There are biological differences between men and women (some pleasant and some unpleasant), but accepting those doesn't mean accepting inequality. If both parents are committed to making an equal contribution (not an equal lack of contribution) to their child's life, then there is a way to split things up so that breastfeeding doesn't become an unfair burden on the mother.
Reader Comments (94)
@ Jen: I think it is ironic that you are accusing me of judging others. Rosin's article is extremely judgmental of moms that do choose to breastfeed (they aren't feminists, they look down at others, they are being held down and not fighting back). I've said over and over that I do not judge individual women for choosing formula, but do they really need to convince the rest of the world to make the same choice in order to feel okay about it?
I took something more nuanced away from Rosin's scientific argument. I didn't read her to say that there are no benefits to breastfeeding, but that the scientific literature is mixed as to the degree of those benefits (10IQ points! 3 IQ points! no IQ points!). And that there is no perfect study because we cannot do randomly assigned control groups for infant feeding choices. Thus, nearly all of the research is retrospective: parents are interviewed about their feeding practices (duration, exclusivity, etc), their characteristics are inventoried (race, class, education, health, etc) and health or other outcomes of their children are recorded (IQ, allergies, disease, etc.). While this is a very legitimate way to conduct scientific research, it isn't perfect and sorting out confounding factors is very difficult.
This is where Rosin missed the mark -- IMHO -- she never acknowledged the weight and importance of the collective body of this research, which clearly demonstrates that breastfeeding confers benefits (or if you prefer that formula feeding has risks).
What she got right is how small some of those benefits/risks are. So small that for any given child, the odds of whether breastfeeding will have any impact on their lives is pretty darn close to nil (at least in the developed world). Thus, there is something to all those anecdotal stories of "my baby was fed formula and is the picture of health." Statistically, most formula fed babies are going to be just as healthy as their breastfed peers -- the research has never demonstrated a wide gap between the two groups, but rather discernible (though small) levels of either increased benefits/risks (depending on how you like to phrase it).
But again, Rosin's picture isn't complete. The push for increasing breastfeeding rates has little to do with the health of any single baby or child -- it is a public health issue.
Across a population, even tiny benefits or risks have a significant impact. So even if the increased risk of some random poor health outcome is only .004% in formula fed babies versus breastfed babies, multiply that by the 4 million babies born in the US last year and you have 160 babies affected. Yes, the odds may be inconsequential that your baby could suffer the poor health outcome, but 160 babies is something public health officials worry about and dedicate their life's work to prevent.
My take-away from Rosin on the science is that if breastfeeding is incompatible with how a family needs to structure their collective life, then don't knock yourself out to make breastfeeding work. Odds are nobody's health will suffer.
But for those of us who see the merits in the public health benefits of advocating for increased breastfeeding rates, a preferable message would be -- what can be changed to make breastfeeding work for more families? Longer, better paid maternity leaves? Better acceptance and protection for moms who nurse in public? Better informed health care providers who can help moms get the best possible start on their breastfeeding journey? Advancing the collective public esteem for the traditional "work" of mothering and nurturing babies and children?
Rosin's article has started an interesting discussion. I wish she had chosen a different title as the one she picked ("The Case Against Breastfeeding") was far too provocative for what really was a very personal story of one woman's breastfeeding journey.
And i wish she would have spent more words on why she continues to nurse her youngest. What is it about this particular act of mothering that -- despite everything she has come to learn about the research and how breastfeeding has affected her autonomy, her career -- that even now, she cannot quit.
Whew! This is the longest comment I've ever written. thanks to those of you who stuck it out. And to Annie for providing this wonderful forum.
No offense, but feminism totally missed the mark, pretending as if we live in little rooms of her own and as if autonomy actually does exist in a healthy, stable world; a good place to raise children. That's not to say I don't identify with aspects of feminism, I do. But when I read of articles like this one you're responding to, I just want to scream, "You can't reproduce and escape your biology!"
Have a room of your own. I'm all for it. But once you have children, it's just not all about you - male or female - anymore. Whining about it doesn't change a thing. Perhaps a better question would be, "Is breastfeeding possible for the selfish?"
[...] An excellent response defending breastfeeding regarding the feminist argument is on PhD In Parenting. [...]
Before all get too comfortable patting each other's backs for what great feminists we are because we've all made our own choices and we have great co-parenting relationships with our spouses, and saying "oh, poor Hanna just needs to talk to her husband more and quit being so selfish" -- let's remember that in the United States, women still do not get paid the same amount as men for the same work -- from truck driving to corporation running. Maternity leave, if we work for a big enough place is 12 weeks -- and if we don't, it's a scant six. And as far as going back to work and pumping, it's great and easy and convenient if you have a corner office or a private lounge in your workplace, but what about if you don't? Should you pump in the bathroom? Should you pump at your desk in a cublicle? Should you pump in your car (one mom I know had to go to that length, and she worked for a HEALTH CARE employer, one of the largest employers in my city). In the meantime, while you're pumping, your boss is looking for you because didn't you already take a 15 minute break today, and you can't just tag another 15 minutes onto your already truncated lunch. Women simply do not have equality IN THE WORKPLACE because we have babies and boobies.
Now, before you leap up in protest, does all this mean that we should stop having babies and/or breastfeeding them? No, of course not. But maybe the feminism that really needs to be addressed is the radical idea of coming together and -- beyond respecting each woman and each mother's right to make her own choice -- fighting for our rights within the workplace and within society. Fighting for someplace clean, private, and convenient to pump. Fighting for equal pay for equal work. Fighting for longer leaves and better access to daycare.
It's nice if you have a partner who pitches in half (or more than half if he's a stay-at-home-dad). But that's not what feminism is all about. It's about a lot, lot, lot more.
rpm
@redpenmama I agree that those are all things worth fighting for. Equal pay, more parental leave (I say parental, not maternity, because again I think each couple should be able to choose what is right for them), better workplace policies, etc. If that is what Rosin had been writing about, I would have backed her up all the way. But rather than blaming the patriarchal set up of our society, she blamed breastfeeding.
[...] 23, 2009 After reading The Case Against Breastfeeding: Is it Anti-Feminist? over at PhD in Parenting and then being verbally chastised in public yesterday about my choice in [...]
Annie,
Many thanks for your response and the follow up email. I very much appreciate it. I admit the submit button got pushed before I had finished my response (the appalling grammar that wasn't checked was a clue!) and I didn't bother to do a follow up post so my apologies.
Rosins article and your responses, plus all the comments here have given me a lot to think about. I have never been interested in feminism but have found myself reading up on it lately. We do have the choice to either stay at home or return to work. But sometimes circumstances force the issue - to give up work or to give up breastfeeding. My anecdotal experience in London is that women aren't able to successfully breastfeed whilst at work as they don't have the facilities to pump or to store the milk before they get home. I don't know how many manage the logistics of this as well as the inevitable long commute you have in London.
This is partly why I chose to stay home, I couldn't face the 1.5 to 2 hour commutes each way to my office. And I wanted to continue to breastfeed so made the choice to stay home. Anyhow, my workplace didn't even have a creche, didn't have the required room for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers to rest and had open plan layouts with glass fronted offices so no privacy for pumping (all this despite the fact that many workers there got pregnant). The particular job I did was quite male dominated so I just wasn't willing to pump in public .
I am resentful that the workplace arrangement took some of my choice away from me. However, I wasn't willing to stay and fight the cause. I am glad that you and others did...hopefully it will pave the way.
For your UK readers...they may be interested in this pdf http://www.breastfeeding.nhs.uk/en/materialforclients/downloads/leaflet_4.pdf.
There was also the concern that I didn't express enough. Not all women do well with pumps.
Interestingly, when I asked an Indian colleague of mine who recently had a baby whether she would breastfeed - she responded that there is no question "what would I do with all that mama-milk if I didn't breastfeed". They don't have the choice..they breastfeed. And I think they do it at home (I will check with here).
My final thought is whether the recession is going to have any effect - are women even less likely to be given the option to pump at work?
[...] check out Blacktating, Momlogic, California NOW, unnecesarean, The Feminist Breeder, blue milk, PhD In Parenting, and this [...]
"As a feminist mother, I consider it my right to insist on conditions that allow me to pump for my baby."
Where I work, they'd just fire you.
Not for asking for the accomodations. That would make them sound like assholes, wouldn't it? They'd just fire you for 'time theft' when you took too many breaks to pump or because you spent too much time on hold with the LC and your break ran over, or for asking for too many days off to go see the LCs. They CAN fire you for those things, and they jolly well will.
My state offers no protection. Sure, if you Google it, my state will come up as one that 'protects women in the work place', but it does that by officially 'encouraging' employers to accomodate breastfeeding women. With all due respect, who gives a fuck?
You were able to take maternity leave. Many of my coworkers had to return to work in two weeks or less because they couldn't afford anything more.
To me, THESE things are worth getting my underpants in a twist about, not an article pointing out that there are flaws in the science, that there is a financial cost to breastfeeding (losing your job is pretty costly), that the US is giving short shrift to poor women in regards to breastfeeding.
Oh, and Tiffany? "Formula is substandard…end of story."
I get a lot of crap already for not breastfeeding, but feel free to pile it on. My breastmilk was (literally) toxic. Their formula was not. Formula is not always substandard. End of story.
...and for the record, I am actually VERY pro-breastfeeding. I'm just tired of poor women getting put through the meat grinder about it.
Jennifer - you are allowed to attend to your own health even after you have brought a child into the world. If that means not being a soda machine for that child, so be it. Shaming other women into giving up their own health and well-being for a child is wrong.
@akeeyu: Sure, there are situations where formula is advisable. I don't dispute that and I don't judge a woman for using formula. I also agree that it is worth getting our underpants in a twist about lack of maternity leave, unfriendly work environments, and so on. If that had been the point of Hanna Rosin's article, I would have been lined up to support her. But no, instead of talking about the need to change those things, she decided to go on a rant about how breastfeeding is anti-feminist and not all that beneficial anyways. That I take exception to.
@aghast: A soda machine? Really? Holy crap....If breastfeeding is equivalent to a soda machine, then formula feeding must be close to smoking crack. Give me a break...
Very well written! I breastfed both my boys and I loved it! And never felt bad about it, at all! It worked for me. I also have a great career. My husband actually now stays home with the boys and helps out with the caregiving, along with my mom and mom-in-law. I feel sorry for the author of that article, she just sounds really bitter to me! I stopped breastfeeding when they were both 6 months old.
My take on this is that she was no longer happy breastfeeding and is coming up with all the excuses she can to help her deal with her internal fight about breastfeeding. If you are no longer happy in your breastfeeding relationship with your baby, then it's true, it's time to find something that is going to work for you and not resent your time with your baby. I think what is important to remember is at most likely at some point we have all had moments of feeling like she did. I know I have. When I have been in the house for days on end with this little being that is literally stuck to me for what seems like hours and hours. I get a little jealous that my husband "gets" to go to work. Jealous enough to quit and go to work myself - nope, but I still have had those feelings - Must be nice to spend a day with adults, must be nice not to have a little leech stuck to you. The key is they are moments of those thoughts, they don't out weigh the happiness I get from breastfeeding.
I could list a lot of other points but what I think it boils down to is that she didn't really have any idea of what breastfeeding was going to be like - I mean the heavy thick parts of breastfeeding. I would guess that she had no one there to support her much either, to say yeah, that's normal we all feel like that some days. Take a deep breath and this too shall pass. Instead it sounds like she let the feelings consume her and now had to make it within herself for her choices.
[...] a case of Hanna Rosin strikes again. When she wrote her “Case Against Breastfeeding“, I responded. Many other people responded too. And now she’s come back for more. Yesterday, on Slate, she [...]
It was great to read your arguments against the Rosin article, and all the comments following up to it. I look forward to 'part 2' of the critique. I agree that it is workplaces and employment law that need to be looked at, and we should all be fighting for that, helping to create an environment where it is truly a 'choice' to breastfeed or not. At the moment, the cards are stacked against women. Why else would around 80 % express a desire to breastfeed, yet by 3 months, not even 30 % are still exclusively doing so (UK statistics - and we have much better maternity leave and pay set-up than the US, but still not as good as some parts of Europe)?
I must admit though, that I am still on a journey with reconciling my feminism and my attachment parenting principles, and that even as a so-called 'extended breastfeeder' (still feeding my 19-month-old on demand), and breastfeeding counsellor trainee, parts of Rosin's article struck a chord with me. Breastfeeding does require a large amount of commitment and often sacrifice, and there have been more than a few moments when I have felt 'chained' to the couch (as Naomi Wolf says in 'Misconceptions'), and longed to be able to sleep more than a 2 hour stretch at night. I would say that my decision to not go back to work as planned was just as much informed by my breastfeeding as other factors. I suspect that most women do not really realise what breastfeeding entails, and when they have been told all their lives that they can 'have it all' (the big lie of feminism), it truly is shattering to find that, at least in the short-term, you may not be able to 'have it all' at once. I find it encouraging to read of other mothers who have managed to juggle breastfeeding with work, and so on, but I have to say that this has not been the case for me thus far, having a baby who has very high sucking needs.
For me, breastfeeding is instinctive; it provides 'live food' which there is no question is better for human beings ; and it has never been an option for me, but always the only option. I do not blame or judge individual formula-feeding mothers, but believe that more women could breastfeed happily and successfully if given the right support and environmental conditions. Sadly, our society has a long way to go in adjusting it's anti-family and anti-child atmosphere. Thank you for providing a forum for this valuable debate.
@Morgan: Our stats here in Canada are:
~ 90% intend to breastfeed and initiate breastfeeding
~ 52% exclusively breastfeeding @ 3 months
~ 15% exclusively breastfeeding @ 6 months (around 53% still breastfeeding though...my guess a lot of early solids intro still)
[...] I post. That was true when I lashed out at Hanna Rosin in the Economics of Breastfeeding and in The Case Against Breastfeeding: Is it Anti-Feminist. It was true when I told facebook what I thought about it’s policy on breastfeeding photos in [...]
The whole idea that breastfeeding somehow prevents a spouse from being involved in caring for the child, or means that mom has to do everything drives me batty!
I'm a postpartum doula, and believe me when I tell you that in supporting breastfeeding pairs (mom and baby) I have NO problem finding things to do to be helpful and involved. Fix and provide snacks, support, encourage, reassure, fold laundry, provide company, wash dishes, burp the baby, change diapers, change the channel (some babies really require two hands to nurse well at first), run mom a bath, set up baby's bath supplies, start dinner, write out a dictated grocery list... the opportunities are virtually endless.
I agree, Rosin's issues seem to be primarily communication and resentment. I don't see how formula feeding would cure either one.
I wrote about this a while back, too. She is angry, but I think her anger is clearly misplaced toward breastfeeding. I wrote back in March:
"I guess what I'm saying is that I see so many women wrestle with these "Mommy War" issues--breast or bottle, disposable or cloth, stay-at-home or career--who end up feeling somewhat guilty about their choices. And there's absolutely no need for guilt if you have considered where your priorities are and chosen accordingly, chosen the things that will make you happiest."
There is no need to feel guilty--or angry--when you are making conscious choices in accordance with your values.
[...] is why I often use strong words when attacking societal ills, when attacking the kyriarchy, when attacking ideas that I feel have the ability to push us in the wrong direction. I believe more people will have the opportunity to make good considered choices if more barriers [...]
I was just reading another article of yours and it linked to this one... I know this is an old post but I had to share with you the awesome adaptation my niece (young breastfeeding instinctual mama that she is!) did of the international breastfeeding symbol: http://www.zazzle.com/KristaJoy
(the creator of the original got a kick of it too!)
@KristaJoy: Very cute.
[...] The Case Against Breastfeeding: Is it Anti-Feminist [...]
I'm going out on a limb here commenting because I am a bottle-nurser. It is at this point that I feel compelled to explain, at length, how I came to be a bottle-nurser. However, I’m really not sure that telling the story is the thing to do. It is chock full of TMI moments. Nevertheless, I am nearly overwhelmed with the desire to lay it all out, to explain, to justify, to assure, to reassure myself and others that this decision was thought-out, well-intentioned and at least somewhat outside of my control. I also feel compelled to say again and again that I support breastfeeding. I believe it is best for both mother and baby due to the closeness and bonding that it promotes. Obviously, I believe that the milk itself is valuable as well. However, I believe that the biggest benefit is the promotion of bonding. I believe this can be achieved thru bottle-nursing, if a concerted effort is made in this direction (thru co-sleeping, baby-wearing, etc.). As a bottle-nurser, I have been subtly shunned and denied necessary support. Shortly after my daughter’s birth, I joined an online group dedicated to AP parenting.(I was feeling a little lost returning to caring for an infant after a break of nearly seventeen years.) At first, I was welcomed to the group and my questions were answered quickly and wholeheartedly. After I shared that I was not breastfeeding, things changed. In fact, once when I was quoted in a thread, the portion in which I revealed I was not breastfeeding was removed from the quote altogether. The message was clear that I was not truly “crunchy.” If we are going to assume that my daughter and I are disadvantaged due to bottle-nursing, it would seem that the kind and good-spirited thing to do would be to offer us additional support to help bridge the gap. Sadly, it seems to me that breastfeeding has become, in many ways, a status symbol.
@elizabeth:
I believe that bottle nursers deserve support (and empathy if they wanted to breastfeed). I do believe that bottle nursers can be AP (and that breastfeeders can be very much non-AP). On the attachment parenting message boards that I have participated in and moderated, bottle nursers were welcome and supported. I think it is too bad that you were not.
I'm a hardcore feminist and also likely hold the world's record for years of breastfeeding!
Sorry Jan I don't want to sound paternalistic but maybe you don't know who Josef Mengele is. Please google him. She is placing tremendous blame on Women that do not think like her. They are part of they own oppression, oppression to the Nazi levels. I am single with no child planed. But I will commemorate the posters for the moderated answers to the article. I believe that, in breastfeeding, the woman is not obligated to justify her decision. But she open herself to criticism by clamming others are bigoted (the Christian ones), mystical nuts (feminists), fembots etc. For me is rare not to breastfeed when you are not working outside. Taking 50% of house stuff but 0% of outside work is rare (for me). Even so I am not willing to compare her friend with the other Joseph (Stalin). She is not torturing nobody, I don't know her motivations education etc. So I let her be.
[...] Case Against Breastfeeding that was published in the US magazine The Atlantic (which I responded to here and [...]
hehehee. Jealously is a bitch isn't it.
Enjoy your life to the fullest...money, power and corporate status aren't worth sacrificing a good tea party for in my opinion...
I feel sad for her that she sees breastfeeding her child as an interruption to launching a website.
It was child no. 3, didn't she know what would be involved? Why not place some importance on child-rearing and set aside time to devote to it rather than trying to fit it into the gaps in her corporate schedule.
[...] Journal on the Madness of Motherhood and I yawned. Ho hum. She isn’t saying anything that Hanna Rosin, Margaret Wente, and plenty of others haven’t already said. She sounds like the broken record [...]
I just love your conclusion. I think we need to accept male and female's physical differences and respect the differences at the same time. We can't expect our husband to give birth to another child because I gave birth to one... or breastfeed and call it an equal share of work?! These feminists need to calm down and stop being angry about every little thing that they deem as "unfair"... They might as well live alone.
I really find it odd that I woman HAS to work (or want to work). Isn't the point of feminism about options? I do NOT want to work. I WANT to be home with my children, I NEVER plan to return to working outside my home. I love spending my days caring for my kids, my family, and my home. And because I am not just taking a break from my career, because I am not missing my time spent spent in a lab doing all this "important" work, many feminists imply that I'm brainwashed or something!
To be honest, I hold a very serious position of power. The position of raising 4 beautiful children to be the best they can be. The position of advocating for my autistic son. The position of managing our home efficiently. Might not be important to her, but it's VERY important to me. And really, that's all that matters.
To her assertion that women cant do meaningful career type work while breastfeeding: I've nursed my daughter in conferences, while interviewing potential employees, while speaking to the press, while speaking to congressmen... I have nursed my baby while doing important career type things so many times I can't count them. and I will say, nursing a baby while interviewing prospective employees is a great weed out tool!
If breastfeeding is anti-feminist then menstruation, pregnancy and labour definitely are too and if we follow that line of reasoning then we should all have hysterectomies.
My version of feminism embraces all that is feminine - including breastfeeding. Our ability to produce and nourish new life is something to be proud of.
This is ridicoulus, not working in a meaningful way?! We have been fortunate enough in my family, that my job as a server in a fine dining resturaunt has held down and paid the bills so my lovely daughter Adeline can be exclusively breastfead. Next week Adeline will be 6 months old, if anything i feel im doing the meaningless work. Adeline was born 3 weeks early and is a cluster feeder, my fiance Laura puts in extremely MEANINGFUL and hard hours throughout the day EVERYDAY. All for the love of our daughter and making sure she gets the best nurishment possible, breast milk. I get the breaks by going to work and seeing my server friends, usually working doubles, with the exception of my two days off. Laura is guiding and raising Adeline when I leave for work, when i get home, all the while she is starting to go back to work for few hours a week and doing clinicals to be a breast feeding peer consoler. Meaningless work? You mam have completly missed the MEANING of breast feeding and your article and thoughts are BLASPHMEY.
THANK YOU, JFM!
It makes me SICK that the workplace environment is not more under attack in these opinion pieces. None of us like the fact that maternity leave hardly exists in the US (if you are lucky, you have Short Term Disability coverage - or no pay at all). Pumping has to be accomodated (real-estate, time, etc). All to make women who are mothers fit into the current workplace mold. We still don't see equal pay for equal work and employers are terrified that a pregnancy makes us a flight risk. Maybe if coming back to work after a baby was better timed, better managed, and better supported - coming back wouldn't be so much of a worry.
On another note - where is all the dicussion of men taking a primary care-giver role? My husband and I decided our best chance for financial stability was for ME to keep working, and him to stay home. We split many of our household and child care responsibilities - but I still breastfed (and pumped). Just because I was the "source" didn't make me the "slave"....ugh.
Both sides of this article seem ludacris. In some ways, I applaud Rosin's courage in pointing out her negative experiences, yet find that she does seem bitter and biased. But for those of you who put her down and brag about being super-moms, capable of juggling housework, a career, and personal relationships
Sorry, I was trying to post via cell-phone earlier, hit "post" prematurely on the touch-screen earlier:
Both sides of this article seem ludacris. In some ways, I applaud Rosin’s courage in pointing out her negative experiences, yet find that she does seem bitter and biased. But for those of you who put her down and brag about being super-moms, capable of juggling housework, a career, and personal relationships, you are no bettter than her. You are also using your PERSONAL EXPERIENCES to make an argument against somebody else's personal experiences. I, personally, am VERY supportive of either decision, as long as it does not infringe on anybody else's personal rights. The act of breastfeeding itself is not feminist, or anti-feminist--it is merely a personal choice a mother has chosen based on what best fits the needs of her infant AND herself (at least it should be). Breastfeeding/breast pumping in the work place IS anti-feminist. Feminism, in a nut shell is a "social movement that seeks EQUAL rights for women"; notice, I emphasize "equal". Women, who choose to work, (whether out of preference or necessity) should not have rights beyond those of men or women who choose not to have children, or who choose to do so on "their own time". If any woman I work with is allowed special breaks to pump their breasts, for their CHOICE to reproduce and breast-feed, I should be allowed EQUAL time away from work for my choice NOT to reproduce or breast-feed; this is TRUE equality. Having children is a choice, and one I would never deny anybody: it is life-changing, CAN be the most gratifying event of a person's life, and is necessary to the survival of our species, but it is still a choice. If one chooses to stay at home and raise their child, wonderful. If one chooses to be a career mom, wonderful, as long as those you work for/with are not forced to be accommodating to your CHOICE...as to the actual debate "is breastfeeding better??"--that is, and will likely always be, in the eye of the beholder; if a mother loves the bonding time, giving her baby natures sweet nectar, and has the time to devote to it, it is best for her and the infant. If nursing will cause resentment, which will most likely lead to emotional distress for both mother and child and everyone involved, it is best to formula feed.
[...] as the tyranny of motherhood, especially physically demanding practices like breastfeeding. Like Hanna Rosin’s, Badinter’s views on breastfeeding have been carefully deconstructed over the past few years [...]
Rosin's article sucks. I read it when I was pregnant. Did she ever responded about her unsubstained claims? She's ridiculous to say the least. Wow! Also, I wonder what does she think about the fact that the majority of breastfeeding moms are college graduates, against the women who don't do so? Simply, half of the consumers of formula in the U.S. are WIC participants. Yeah, surely the majority of them do so because they are fighting for their feminist rights. Get real Rosin!
[...] they may come as a surprise to those who pit feminism against attachment parenting, such as Hanna Rosin, Elisabeth Badinter, Erica Jong, and the New York Times. Based on my experience and knowledge, I [...]
Perhaps if some of you spent less time on these sites you might have time to appreciate the few weeks that you spend most of your time nursing a baby. Get a life! Nursing a baby is for a year or so out of your life. Since we have a lifespan into our 70"s it really isn't much time in the scheme of things. I too nursed my babes at meetings, in parking lots or nursing rooms. It really isn't anyone business what you are doing and it sure beat being groped under the table by the idiot next to you. If you think nursing a baby ties you down, just wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet!!