A letter to my darling boy

 

To my darling boy,

You're turning 4 this week. I know I'm supposed to say something like, "where has the time gone?" or "it seems like just yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital". But that isn't how I feel. In fact, I feel like you've been a part of my life for a very long time. At least half of my life it feels like, although that isn't the case. I guess my sense of time is blending with yours, where everything that happened in the past is yesterday and everything that will happen in the future is tomorrow.

You amaze me each day with your eagerness and ability to learn. I wish I had the answers to all of your questions, but I just don't. Soon you will realize that Mommy doesn't know everything, so I guess I should enjoy the illusion of me having supreme intelligence while it lasts. But it is frustrating when I can't answer your question and you seem to think I'm not answering because I don't want to, as if I am trying to hide the answer from you. I watch your brain effortlessly soak up the world around you as you learn languages, orient yourself and start giving me directions, and memorize the names of dozens and dozens of trains and cars. And your body is learning too. You've become more confident in the water this year and you walked an 11km hike alongside Mommy and Daddy this past spring.

You've grown so much and become so independent that I often forget how overwhelming the world can be when you're not quite 4. When the tears start to flow at the drop of a hat over the tiniest of things, it is often a reminder to me that the events leading up to that point may have just been too much for you, even though you seemingly glided through them. Going back to school and turning 4 all in one week is one of those overwhelming times, so we've had our share of tears and of cuddles this week to get through it all.

I love our car rides to school in the morning. It is one of the few times that we have alone together, where I am not rushing to try to get dinner ready, or tending to your sister's needs at the same time as trying to play with you or get caught up on your day. It is your time to share with me what is important in your life, whether it is an airplane flying by, a far off trip to Cuba that you're already thinking about, or the possibility that Grannie might have some chocolate chip muffins in her bag when she comes to visit.

You are such a great big brother. I know it can be difficult having your little sister follow you around constantly, always wanting to use your toys, always needing Mommy and Daddy's attention. Despite that, I can see that you genuinely love her and enjoy spending time with her. I love seeing you hold her hand and guide her through the park. I love watching you read her Good Night Moon and patiently asking her where the mouse is on each page. I love seeing how much she looks up to you because I know what a great role model you are and will continue to be for her.

I love you so much my special boy.

Happy Birthday!

Love,

Mommy

Comments

[trd]

I teared up! This is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with the rest of us.

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