Friday
Feb042011
Canadian women: We're fat, our kids are fat, and we're letting other people raise our children
Friday, February 4, 2011 
Today's news stories come with a heavy dose of woman and mother-blame.
- Canadian women getting fatter, and fast...: In the Ottawa Citizen, Sharon Kirkey reported that Canadian women are becoming overweight faster than almost any other women in the high-income world. At least this article ended with a couple of suggestions on tackling structural issues in society that may be contributing to obesity.
- ...while kids of working moms are far likelier to be obese: Also in the Ottawa Citizen, Sharon Kirkey reports that researcher Taryn Morrissey doesn't intend to make mothers feel guilty, but "after looking at nearly 1,000 children living in 10 U.S. cities, Morrissey and colleagues found that a child's body mass index rises slightly the more time a mother is employed over the child's life-time." This is, of course, "just one of many factors at play in the current epidemic of childhood obesity" according to Morrissey, but also the only one making headlines in the paper.
- Conservatives draw fire over comment on child care: The Toronto Star's Susan Delacourt reported that Conservative Human Resources Minister Diane Finley said "It's the Liberals who want to ensure that parents are forced to have other people raise their children. We do not believe in that."
Why can't people see past the statistics and the rhetoric and realize that the problem isn't women or mothers? The problem is that our society is working against working mothers instead of evolving to create a better and more supportive environment for them.
- Where are the companies offering convenient real food for moms to put on the table instead of marketing us crap and telling us it is nutritious? (Nutella, Gerber Graduates, Pizzaville)
- Where are the flexible workplaces for moms and for dads (in practice, as well as in theory), that allow parents to spend more time with their children even if they are both working?
- Why aren't our children being given enough time to run around and be active each day at day care and school instead of focusing on excelling on standardized testing?
- Why are our day cares and schools offering meal programs that pretend to be healthy, but that are often no better than fast food?
- Why isn't anyone doing anything about the fact that junk food is cheaper than real food?
- Why isn't the government offering more generous parental leave programs (like some European countries) so that parents can opt to take more time off if they want to?
- Why isn't more blame placed on the companies who keep increasing and increasing portion sizes?
Ultimately, what the "blamers" don't seem to realize (or don't seem to care about) is that high income Canadians are more likely to be able to stay at home with their kids, to buy and prepare healthy real food, and to have the time and money to ensure both they and their kids get out to exercise. Low income Canadians are more likely to have to have both parents at work (sometimes both working multiple jobs), to have to buy unhealthy foods because healthy ones are less accessible and less affordable, and to be less likely to have the time or the money to participate in fitness activities.
Working moms are part of our reality now. Rather than blaming them for stepping out of the 1950s and stepping up to support their families financially, I'd like to see researchers and politicians dig deeper and find the real reasons behind challenges our society is facing. Sure, some people can overcome those challenges sometimes and it is worth it to try in spite of it all. However, we would have more success and more happiness as a society if it were easier for people to live a balanced and healthy lifestyle. We need less blame, more solutions.
Reader Comments (71)
Also, it's a certain kind of privileged to be *able* to bike 10 miles - I wish my disability didn't stop me from being able to do those things.
BHN - I will cede that physical ability is a different type of privilege. But not that time is since the main factor in our decision to have me stay home was that it's less expensive this way than it is paying for day-care, and not that we have some sort of privileged access to food since we don't have a grocery in our city, and not that our hard work finding ways and making sacrifices to have healthy food on a tight budget is in actuality some sort of economic privilege.
I don't think either way is inherently wrong or right, to stay at home or to work. If you have the option to stay at home and you choose it, great! Not everyone has the option, unfortunately. Conversely, some people, like my best friend, for example, feel they would be isolated by staying at home (not that adult interaction couldn't be achieved by trying to connect with other stay at home parents or going to play groups, etc. but there's also the issue of some parents casting judgments... not to mention if you're on assistance as my friend has been, there can be lack of money for transportation).
In my education on child care, I've actually discovered that early childhood education benefits children in the long run... I personally believe relationship based, multi-age child care to be the best compliment to attachment parenting, that lets the children play (rather than testing). Children absolutely can and do form secondary attachments, and these are healthy. Annie, you've mentioned this before... several of your blog entries contained information I used in a research/position paper on the relationship between child care and attachment parenting.
I totally agree about making healthier food more cost efficient and accessible.
I saw this story on the 6 o'clock news here in NY! I couldn't believe they were blaming working mothers for childhood obesity. So glad you wrote about this. If schools offered healthy meals and there were healthy drive-through options, it wouldn't be so difficult for busy parents (working or not!) to feed their children good food.
And, related to the discussions about how we eat, as a society and how much we spend and what we have access to, this photo essay and book takes a look at what an average family in different countries around the world eat in a week and what they pay for it.
http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1626519_1373664,00.html
On a world wide level, some of the poorest countries are spending the least money on the most basic and often most healthy food. There is a lot to learn from this book.
Yes, granted. But my point is simply that we all have our privileges and our disadvantages, and we do our best with what we have. It doesn't make you a superhero that you bicycle to the farmers' market, and it doesn't make me a superhero that I cloth diaper my baby, and it doesn't make my friend a superhero that she is vegan. We're all just doing the best we can.
Personal responsibility is a red herring when we don't all have equal access to those things which, if all things were equal, any rational person with the environment and health and sustainability in mind would invariably choose.
Amen.
I have long thought that if we put half as much energy into finding solutions as we put into pointing out problems, we would be FAR better off. Understanding the sociological factors at work is important, but let's offer people actual options, instead of just telling them what to do and chastising them for not doing it.
Since it hasn't been brought up specifically (although it has been alluded to), I'd add this re. fat shaming - fatness does not automatically equal "unhealthy" and thin does not automatically equal "healthy".
Shaping society - is that the role of government? Used to be, society shaped government.
Barbara:
I'm not sure which comment or statement in particular you are commenting on here. However, I think it goes both ways. I think society shapes government by democratically electing officials that they trust to make the best decisions. However, the government then has a role in creating regulations and managing programs that will help shape society.
Katherine:
I absolutely agree when referring to any specific individual that being fat does not automatically mean unhealthy and being thin does not automatically mean healthy. I do, however, think there is cause for concern if our society as a whole is getting heavier and heavier. However, we need to be careful where we place the blame when that happens. It should not be placed squarely on the shoulders of people who are overweight (both because they might be healthy AND because there may be other factors that are keeping them from meeting their own goals). Instead, we should look for solutions that allow everyone to live a healthier lifestyle and then I think the health outcomes will automatically follow.
Agreed. Another important thing to keep in mind is that it may be legitimate, when one person starts putting on a lot of weight, to say that there's a serious personal responsibility issue (assuming other medical factors have been ruled out). But when we see a marked social trend, we can no longer just point our fingers at individual people. The only legitimate conclusion is that there is something going on, at the social level, that is making it harder for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
It's no longer a discussion about personal responsibility. It becomes a discussion of what's going wrong at the social level that is causing this to happen (note, however, that this does not in any way absolve individuals from personal responsibility).
wow. great blog. In the US, we dont even have healthcare available for the general population and there is a large segment of society fighting this like it is a nuclear power plant in their personal back yard (but they will take free motor scooters from medicare???).
and how screwed up is it that there are ten foods that experts wont even EAT !!
(such as canned tomatoes, potatoes, farm-raised salmon, etc) and the CEOs of the companies aren't even human enuf to just say, hey, yeah, I dont want my products to cause harm, let's clean up the food supply! no they fight it tooth & nail! weird world we live in,huh? let's hear it for hard-working people everywhere!
[...] Canadian women: We’re fat, our kids are fat, and we’re letting other people raise our children I’ve been enjoying reading this blog in general, but this post summed up some of the discussions and articles on this subject nicely. As a PT-WAHM it’s something I follow closely. [...]
We've noticed that cutting back on meat and eating more vegetarian food lowers our grocery costs. Also, making big batches of soups and chilis etc. is handy because it is cheap and you can freeze it and on busy days take it out and have a meal ready in minutes. Just as easy as fast food but healthier!
There are so many factors in play in our society, like fast-paced work and home life, fast food culture and and the culture of consumption where companies have to market something new to the public and create a need for things that we really don't need. Not everyone is conscious of how their lives are being affected and they are just living each day at a time, trying to cope with work and family life. There needs to be more education on health and nutrition, and the government should be doing more to regulate fast food and the advertising of fast food. Junk food can be as damaging to people's health as smoking, drinking and drugs.
When I looked at that study that correlates the number of years a mother has worked outside the home to increased BMI in her children it really infuriated me. Somehow fathers are left out of the focus and the blame goes onto the mother... It seems to me that mothers are still primarily the ones left to the shopping and cooking in many households, even though they are working full time. What I think needs to be discussed is the sharing of household duties by spouses and even older children. The whole family is responsible for keeping a family healthy, and that includes fathers and kids. If mom is busy and tired and feels she can only muster up some fast food on a regular basis to feed the family, they indeed may see their BMIs increasing. However, if both parents and even kids participated in family meal planning, shopping and preparation, it lightens the load for everyone and regular healthy home-cooked meals are possible.
I understand that some parents financially have a choice to stay home or not and that many (mostly women) in this situation decide to make certain sacrifices to stay home with their young children.
I can't help wondering, though, if we'd be better off as a society if we just stopped letting women receive higher education. After all, if as a society, we believe that children need a parent at home, at least until they start full-time school, higher education for women is a waste of time.
I'll go ahead and assume that you were being sarcastic, but you do bring up an interesting point - where do we draw the line between what's better for this generation and what's better for the next generation? And how much right does a society have to force people to do what we may determine is best for them?
It's not particularly applicable in this case because higher education in women is rather strongly correlated to better life outcomes for their children. Let's not forget that there's no reason, if the research shows that children need "a parent" at home, that women should be singled out. We could just as easily mandate that a criteria for getting a marriage license be that only one partner be allowed to have an advanced degree - regardless of gender.
I have three university degrees, including a graduate social work degree. That experience and knowledge gave me the insight to make the decision to stay home with my children. I believe I am making a bigger contribution to society by mindfully parenting passionate and engaging life learners. I am choosing to avoid the path that can result in overly peer-attached and/or overly stressed children and youth...there is another way and I am enjoying life with my kids while we all pursue our passions. But yes, I could have gone to work, so that I could spend the money on daycare, transportation, clothing and maybe a fancy trip or expensive new car...I'm choosing a different lifestyle...my education was not wasted.
[...] a post last week, I mentioned a study called Maternal Employment, Work Schedules, and Children’s Body Mass [...]
I wonder if perhaps it may be time to take a step back and take responsibility for our social mess as a whole. Business is business. Plain and simple. They are there to make money, not to make people who want it all have it all. The problem? Us! Women. We have sacrificed the very beauty and sublimity of womanness. We have lost pride in ourselves and in our abilities to produce, feed and nurture our own precious gifts. Woman are incredible and the one great thing about feminism is that men are starting
to realize how needed and incredible we are naturally. I am a highly educated woman...two university degrees and a fantastic cv. When we decided to have children our children were to come first...emotionally and mentally. We make sacrifices and i stay home. The difference between staying at home now and in the 50's is this: my husband sees my work as equal to his...he tells me i am our familys gift. When he gets home from work he takes the kuds to play. I prepare supper. We have a family dinner. We talk and share and laugh. Following supper he again spends time with the children while i clean up. (they are ok with this because mommys home...its only one parents attention theyre requiring and they get it no questions asked). Kitchen ckeaned, i join in the play time. For bathtime that is again daddy duty...a nice few quiet minutes to myself which i dont have during the day. We both tuck in the kids and then ahhhh....mom and dad time! no packing lunches or cleaning or laundry since thats my job! Time to stay in touch with each other...so important. I believe the divorce rate is a huge signifier of this. I dont believe that it has to be the woman to stay home and i also dont believe that this is possible for ALL
families. I do believe that if, as a society we belived I
n the emotional and mental rights of our children a
parent would stay home. It is not the responsibility
of a business tomaintain your child rearing schedule.
Its ours! Also, daycares are a business. They are not our childrens parents...we are. We, as consumers need to take responsibility for our and our childrens nutrition! If we didnt buy it they wouldnt sell it! Maybe we need to start blaming ourselves and our priorities. Which are???? For many....its not our children. A few sacrifices can go a long way.
Why don't you start putting kids as the number one priority instead of your crappy jobs you admire so much. It's parents own selfishness that allows there kids to be fat and not properly take care off. Stop being so lazy and blaming everyone but yourselves. Wake up its your fault and no one else's. No one forced you to have kids. Suck it up.
two words; personal responsibility. Apply those two words to your lig\fe (meaning everyone) and there will be fewer problems right across the board.