When it is not breast

Breast is best.

In an ideal world, all infants would be breastfed.

This is not an ideal world. But that doesn't mean that we can pretend that there are not significant risks in formula feeding as compared with breastfeeding. There are. Risks for the baby, risks for the mother. If all other things are equal, breast is unequivocally best.

Women who want to breastfeed, but aren't successful

Unfortunately, all other things are not always equal. There are many reasons why women are not successful at breastfeeding:

• There is a very small percentage of moms who are physically unable to breastfeed and they are lucky to have formula as an alternative. But I wish they had other options. I wish that human milk banks were more common. There are major institutions set up to collect, screen and distribute donated blood to those that need it, why not breast milk too?


• There are some women who are so overwhelmed by difficulties with breastfeeding that they can't be good mothers and breastfeed at the same time. I wish there was more good quality support for those moms to help them through the difficulties that they are facing.


• There are moms who get horrible advice from health professionals or loved ones or buy into propaganda circulated by formula companies or baby trainers and end up inadvertently sabotaging their breastfeeding relationship. We need to continue to educate people that work with new moms to ensure that they provide the best quality advice, we need to regulate what formula companies are allowed to do and claim (like we do with drug companies to keep them from being overzealous pill pushers), and we need to get the message out that strict schedules are dangerous.


• There are women who do not get the necessary support in the workplace to allow them to continue breastfeeding when they return to work. We need to fight for more generous maternity leave policies (especially in the United States) and we need to fight for greater rights and respect for breastfeeding mothers in the workplace.


• There are women who were sexually abused and for whom the thought of having someone touching and suckling at their breasts is unimaginable. I wish this wasn't the case. No girl or woman deserves to be abused. Unfortunately, a lot of women have been sexually abused at some point in their lives and that may make it impossible for them to breastfeed.

These moms are not at fault if they cannot breastfeed their babies. They deserve our support and they deserve a shoulder to cry on if they really did want to breastfeed and were not successful.

Women who just don't want to breastfeed

Then there are mothers that choose not to breastfeed just because they don't want to. That is their choice. I think it is too bad, for them and for their children. Here in Canada where we have public health care and I also think it is too bad for our health system (increases costs, increases wait times).

But the reality is that we cannot start regulating people's individual health choices.

• No one can force you to not eat at McDonald's.


• No one can force you to get the recommended amount of cardiovascular exercise each week.


• No one can force the fruits and veggies into you.


• No one can force you to cut back on your salt intake.


• AND no one can force you to breastfeed.

If you just don't want to breastfeed, fine. I'll accept your choice, even though I don't understand it.

What I won't take sitting down

I will support moms that wanted to breastfeed and couldn't. I will accept the choice of moms that didn't want to breastfeed.

What I absolutely will not accept (consider this fair warning) is:

• People spreading rumours about formula being just as healthy as breastfeeding. It isn't.


• People spreading false information or myths about breastfeeding or suggesting practices that are not compatible with breastfeeding.


• People who weren't successful at breastfeeding trying to convince others to give up. It isn't your choice to make.


• People suggesting that breastfeeding in public is disgusting or that women should breastfeed on the toilet.


• People who feel the need to call breastfeeding supporters names, like Breastfeeding Nazi or Boob Nazi.


• Formula companies using deceitful and unethical marketing practices.

Ninety percent of women want to breastfeed. Actions and words like the ones I just listed are major contributors to women not being successful.

As a lactivist, I am not out to bash or shame formula feeding moms. But I will fight against practices that hinder the success of those that want to breastfeed.

Where it becomes tricky

I read a great post this week called Breastfeeding, Bottle Feeding and…. Somewhere In-between…. Why the Guilt? There were a lot of great points in that post and it provides great perspective on the issue from someone that works in the field and sees new moms wrestling with these issues day in and day out. The two bullets that spoke the most to me though were these:

• Never overestimate a mother’s desire to breastfeed her infant.


• Never underestimate a mother’s desire to breastfeed her infant.

This is where the problem comes in. If a mom sort of wants to breastfeed, but not really, and you have advice that could help her overcome a problem she is facing, you might get snapped at. If a mom is facing unsurmountable difficulties with breastfeeding and you suggest that she try formula, you might get your head bitten off. This is a very emotional, very involved issue for women.

I'll quote again from the post:

Support the mother, support the mother, and support the mother.

This is truly the most important thing and to do that, you have to listen a lot more than you speak and when you do speak you have to be very very careful.

What I often find trickiest is correcting misinformation that is being spoken by a woman who was not successful at breastfeeding. If she continues to share that information with others, she may be responsible for them not being able to breastfeed. If she continues to believe that is true, then it may impact her ability to breastfeed future children that she might have. But if you say anything, then you are not only questioning her knowledge but also questioning whether the reasons she ended up quitting breastfeeding were really valid or not. No matter how you say it, it will come across that way.

That is where it is hard. I want to support formula feeding moms. I want to tell them that I understand how hard it was and that it was okay to give up. But I also want to break the cycle and I don't know how.

How do you break the cycle?

Comments

[When it is not breast «]

[...] writer and breastfeeding advocate. She’s just written an article about formula feeding. Her great post is divided into 4 parts: Women who want to breastfeed, but aren’t successful, Women who just [...]

[Sagging breasts? What’s]

[...] factor in continued low breastfeeding rates and early weaning. I tend to agree. With all of the true barriers to breastfeeding (ones that we need to work hard to dismantle), we really don’t need stupid [...]

[Christine]

Regarding:

"i dont know ANYONE that just breastfeeds exclusivley for 6 mths. WHY??? cause it is tiring and stressfull. i hear all those breastfeeding mothers going “i have had enough,im giving formula at night so they sleep longer than 2 hrs"

I am a mother of two and was working full time when my first daughter was born. She nursed and ONLY took breastmilk for two years. I pumped at work on a bathroom floor during my only 40 minute break of the day. Every day for two years. Neither of my girls ever had a drop of formula and #2 has never even had a bottle in her mouth, as I currently work part time. I have been lactating and nursing since 2005.

It is always strange to me that the problems with with mother's milk production are limited to the US. I have lived all over Latin America and have never heard of any mom who couldn't produce milk. I have heard of plenty of moms who choose to use formula in those cultures because it is "easier" and "modern" or because there a Nestle billboards up all over the place, but I have never heard of problems with milk production outside of the US.

I think it has to do with our work and money focused culture and also because we are not a multi generational society and very rarely are around babies.

I just read a wonderful book about child rearing around the world called Our Babies, Ourselves.

I know it is not possible for every mother to nurse her child (hence the use of artificial feeding systems and wet nurses since the beginning of time), but I truly wish that human milk could be made more widely available rather than formula.

[Society is creepy (not breastf]

[...] within the lens of any individual mother’s decision about how to feed her child, breastfeeding may not win out. While I think each mother has the right to decide how to feed her child, I do think that there are [...]

[Harmony]

You break the cycle by doing EXACTLY what you are advocating in this piece. You try to not over or underestimate the mothers desire to breastfeed, you try to support her, you give advice and suggestions, and most importantly you TAKE THE RISK you will be snapped at or have your head bitten off. Every time you do that, you ALSO take the risks she will listen and hear you, she will learn, she will benefit and she will pass that benefit on to other mothers. That is how you break the cycle. You keep doing it and you don't give up.

[Marisa]

My baby lost more than 10% body weight because my milk did not come in, so the hospital told me to feed 10 mins each side, then pump, then give formula for every feed. I was so upset and disappointed - I was so determined to be able to breastfeed and had even gone to a breastfeeding class while I was still pregnant. Eventually (after 6 weeks) my milk fully came in and I've been exclusively breastfeeding ever since. What I want to know is, how much did my baby miss out in the early days when his feeds were "corrupted" by formula? Am I making up for it now?

[Lara]

Hi Marisa,

Please don't stress about what your baby has missed - the important fact is that every breastfeed he gets is doing him good! There was a stage when my baby had to have formula too, and though it was medically indicated, I hated to do it. A counsellor helped me to focus on the positives - and she was right. Although research says that exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months is the ideal, continued breastfeeding up to two years and beyond also has a big impact on long term health. You are doing a wonderful job breastfeeding your baby, and it is only due to your determination - your baby is very lucky to have you as a mum. Well done!

[Saddened & Appalled by the]

Why DO other mothers feel the burning need to pass on their opinions and judgements and that be surprised when it isn't well received? "But then she bit my head off" - well come on now!!! This is a huge personal and intimate deal here. Jeebus.

Makes me very sad to see that there are still so many women out there with opinions that are completely blinkered. I see so many comments about how ridiculous it is not to BF, how the mother needs support - but sometimes - it just doesn't work. And this constant pressure on mothers is ridiculous. It's awful, and I was left for almost 2 years with awful feelings of guilt, of failing my child - had I poisoned her? What have I done to her? Will she get sick? Cancers? What? Everyone tells me that formula is poison and evil...

But I was completely unable to breastfeed my child.

Oh, I suppose everyone here will have an answer for it... but I tried it all...

I was so stubbornly determined to feed my child that inbetween attempts I was pumping every 3 hours - but this amount was not enough and I HAD to supplement with formula.
I was on domperidone, oats, Guiness, fake beer, fenugreek, blessed thistle - I had virtually no supply.
And then there's my child... my beautiful baby girl... who refused to latch.
Visits to LCs left my breasts covered in purple bruises, my child red and screaming from hunger... nothing worked. We tried tube feeding, spoon feeding, nipple shields - and they eventually gave up on us after 3 weeks - told me she was tongue tied and sent me on my way.
My DD wasn't tongue tied. And she never did latch.
She did, however, continue to scream and claw at my breasts every time I attempted to feed her. Complete breast aversion. And I still had no supply.
I tried LLL, I tried Breastfeeding Buddies, nurse-ins, spent days naked on the top half doing skin-on-skin, showers, baths, etc...
My child hated me, hated my breasts, and I *WASTED* hours every day strapped to that machine when I should have been holding my baby. Bonding with her. Loving her.
That time I will never get back.
DAYS spent with her lying by my side as I pumped, and pumped and pumped.
WEEKS spent inside that house, with my child lying by my side...

So please - STOP THE JUDGEMENT. It's horrible. Isn't it bad enough that the mother feels like a failure when it doesn't happen? That the mother feels ripped apart by guilt? Why do seemingly kindred spirits, fellow mothers also have to heap on the guilt and judgement?

To all the naysayers, all the people who claim that it's completely natural and easy? That are so judgemental against other mothers?

It is NOT easy. It is NOT 100% natural.

Sometimes you can try everything for 10 and a half months - and it just won't happen.

Had my child been born centuries ago? She would have perished and died with pumps and *SHOCK*HORROR* ... FORMULA.

That's the grim truth of it.

She would have died.

So yah... I used formula; yes, I pumped - but I gave her the best possible start in life that I possibly could.

[phdinparenting]

Who are you saying "STOP THE JUDGEMENT" to? Who is claiming that it is completely natural and easy?

[Monique]

I think this is one place where society needs to begin to speak again with a clear, true voice.
There was a time when everyone breastfed - or they found a wet nurse. It was really that simple. Why have we allowed ourselves to be talked out of that? A wet nurse makes it very clear that being fed as a baby is a relationship - and that breastmilk is the best food. It also makes it clear that it's a human function - and not a function of getting milk from an animal and somehow making it "fit" sufficiently to pass for food for a human. Society does set norms; this isn't new. We have no issue with "shaming" families that choose not to vaccinate, for instance. But we don't say anything about how someone chooses to feed. I'm not trying to advocate shaming - but I am saying that we have somehow decided collectively that just because we *can* do something (like formula feed) that it's somehow an acceptable choice. It isn't; it's only okay in the instances that you note above in your blog post. While this doesn't help with how to speak when an individual says something clearly untrue like "formula is fine" or "it's just like breastmilk" or "your baby will sleep better", we can stick to speaking the truth, as kindly as we can, which is "really, nothing is like breastmilk", "we don't know how to duplicate it" and "unfortunately, formula is not even a close second." What our bodies have evolved to do - in order to effectively nourish our babies (and ourselves) - is miraculous. Nursing is also daunting and difficult and depressing sometimes - and this is what it is. Instead of rosy pink halos painted around perfect pictures of motherhood, perhaps we all have to tell the truth about that too: it's infinitely worth it and it's desperately hard sometimes. Perhaps it really is *all* about speaking the truth - something we get far to little of these days. Instead, we get little white lies, designed to make us feel better or consume more or let us off the hook as we poison ourselves or our planet. Our politicians lie so regularly, we hardly take note. No wonder we have no way to say the truth to each other without sounding like we are out to hurt someone. We have hardly any examples of it around us.

[Mamaof4]

I try to "break the cycle" by passing along helpful info to expecting moms whom I know (whether or not it is their first baby). How I go about it is: ether I send them a thoughtfully & carefully worded email with links to websites like kellymom, drmomma, thewholenetwork, etc, explaining why these sites are so helpful. Then they are free to make their own choices as a mother, and I hope that they do find the time to really educate themselves on all topics baby-related. I also give my email & phone #'s and let them know that they can contact me if they need any help with baby. For those whom I give a gift to, I encolse a little (scrapbook paper) note listing "my fav baby-care websites" inside the card. I feel like the websites give credibility to my advice, and I don't come across like I'm "telling them how to parent", or that I'm pulling the info out of left field. Lastly, I try to post links & articles to my facebook page whenever I find one that is helpful, but not overwhelming. At this point, I feel like i'm doing as much as I can without "stepping on toes" or burning bridges, you know?

[becca]

thank you. <3

[becca]

:(... you are not on your own. <3 to you for trying your best beautiful annon mummy.

[Paula]

Every mom and every birth is so different. I never breastfed my first son as I lacked the support and knowledge really to understand how important it was. My second and now my third are great breastfeeders. But I had to be very stubborn with them. My littlest one has just now become a great bfer. It took 4 months of constant pumping on my part and putting her to the breast every single day for her to get it. She was very ill and extremely sleepy because of seizures and medication until the last couple of months. The doctors urged me to give up. Even the lactation consultant wasn't convinced that I'd ever get her latched but urged me to continue pumping. If I can pump 8 to 10 times a day and bottle feed it to her until she's finally well enough to bf consistently, I truly believe that any mom could have a wonderful bf relationship with their child if given the right information and support. Don't give up!! It's what I urge all new moms. It can be tricky for the first few weeks but the reward of successful bfing is more than worth it -- even though it took me 4 months to get my daughter latched, I wouldn't change a thing. If you want to bf, believe me, you can! Just keep at it:)

[Thanks for Throwing Fuel on th]

[...] postpartum depression on her amazing blog. I didn’t need Dr. Narvaez to prompt me to write When it is Not Breast or I Won’t Ask You Why You Didn’t Breastfeed. The positive discussions were already [...]

[Jo]

I COMPLETELY SUPPORT YOU!!! I am pregnant DO NOT PLAN to breast feed AT ALL. I am 31 yrs old. WAS NEVER BREASTFED (due to allergy to my mothers breastmilk) and I fine, smart, creative, college degree and ALL. I AM WITH YOU AND AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY WITH EVERYTHING IN YOUR POST.. BE STRONG, DONT WEAKEN; AND DONT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE LESS THAN A MOM OR WOMAN FOR YOUR DECISION

[Guest Post: Societal Barriers]

[...] to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thank you for visiting, I am so happy you're here!When people think of breastfeeding difficulties, the things that probably come to mind are supply issues, bad latch, cracked nipples, constant [...]

[Adrian]

Thank you for all your supportive words!!! I was semi successful with breast feeding the first 6 months and then my LO became to busy to nurse. Did that stop me?? NOPE!!!! I pump all day every day. I worked to hard to get this far. That being said I can see both sides. I totally get why people give up. It's to bad there isn't more support or information on BF. I truly enjoyed your articles. I hope a desperate mom finds your site and decides to hang in there.

[I call Shenanigans | The Stay-]

[...] was enough to show any accusations like that must be incredibly rare. Most pro-breastfeeding sites went out of their way to explain all options and not shame formula moms. Pro-breastfeeders, as a whole, are NOT engaging [...]

[Leah]

It is so unfair to compare mum's who don't want to breastfeed with unhealthy people with poor diets. Its actually true that people from poor socioeconomic backgrounds are more likely to engage in behaviors that effect their cardiovascular health.
I am educated. I am intelligent. I formula feed. Breast feeding wasn't working for my family and I had another option. I really don't think it's as bad as you and other breastfeeding enthusiasts make out. There was also no mention of mental health and how the mother is coping. There is physical reasons for not breastfeeding but there is also psychological.
If you don't understand why mum's don't breastfeed, that's fine. Don't criticise what you don't understand.

[Kim Curry]

Marisa,

I'm sorry this is so late, I see that it's been over 18 months. If this reply is not useful to you, I hope the information will be valuable to another, later reader.

On one of the webboards that I followed, much was made of a baby having a "virgin gut." Breastmilk supports development of the appropriate gut bacteria.

I spent much of my son's second week in the ICU, where I had to pump & dump for two days. He was bottle-fed formula for those two days, because we didn't have access to a milk bank and didn't know anyone we could trust to cross-nurse in that short time.

One of the webboards that I used to frequent, some of the mom's made a big deal of the "virgin gut." Breastmilk supports growth of the proper gut flora (digestive bacteria) for digestion. There is some evidence that gut flora might be a factor in obesity and allergies, but I don't know how reliable the studies are just yet.

We cannot change what happened. Continuing to breastfeed after that time IS beneficial. It does provide our children with immunities, proper nutrition, and supports healthy gut flora.

My mother breastfed four of her six children. She tried to breastfeed the last two, but was never able to pump. So when #5 ended up hospitalized under the bili-lights, she wasn't able to keep up her supply. And when #6 refused to nurse, she couldn't Exclusively Pump. Both of my baby brothers grew up healthy. My adopted cousins who were bottle-fed grew up healthy.

As the original post states:
-- Support the mother, support the mother, and support the mother.

We do what we can with the hand we are dealt. Continuing to breastfeed now might never "make up for" the formula our babies received... but it DOES continue to bring the benefits of breastfeeding (connection, increased immunity for the baby, decreased cancer risk for the mother, etc.)for as long as you continue to nurse.

DS is 5 now, we stopped nursing around 3.5 years.

[Kevin]

I'm sickened by the overblown pressure to breastfeed in today's pediatrics and hospitals. My wife and I decided to breastfeed and pump/bottle feed long before our child was born. Saving you the details, it was pure hell for 2 weeks of trying to breastfeed... then we did pump/bottlefeed for 4 weeks, which worked out till the baby started demanding so much attention during the day (too much attention to where the mom doesn't have enough time to eat/drink enough and pump every 2-3 hours as required). Supply is diminishing, and we're having to rely on formula again.

It sickens me to see the amount of PROPAGANDA behind exclusive breastfeeding. Sure, I agree that 'breast is best'.. but by how much? The research is too inconclusive to justify that it is Magic. This push behind 'Breast is Best' is nothing more than rebuttle from breastmilk advocacy groups started in the 70s/80s because 'Formula is Best' was promoted from 1950 to 1970. These advocacy groups gained enough headway that they pulled everyone into the mix. And now you have a bunch of doctors supporting breastmilk because survey says...! Breastmilk is more beneficial, but you're not hurting your child by formula feeding where you need to. There's a reason it's called supplement.

Some people out there just want to control you, whether it be for the sheer satisfaction, the money, the power, or 'because they want what's best for you and your child.' What's best for you and your child is to look at the FACTs and for everyone to quit pushing their personal opinions and theories onto you. Unfortunately the facts have been covered up by so many advocacy groups and inconclusive scientific evidence, that it's difficult to find the truth.

Short of babies and mothers being treated as science experiments (God forbid this ever happen), there will be very little conclusive evidence on the specifics on the benefits of breastmilk. There will always be other factors at play, which cannot be eliminated without a controlled environment. i.e. the breastmilk has to be the only varying factor in an experiment or survey to have any conclusive scientific evidence. Mothers, babies, and their environments are too different to base a child's health on a single factor, until you are able to isolate that factor. However, there is no evidence suggesting that an artificial product (formula) is better than the natural product (milk).

[Mr. AZ]

Well, odd that I'm a guy and I'm on this blog posting but here is my explanation and hope that other Dad's like me will stay involved in the decision for our children's mothers to breast feed rather than folding under family, friends and social pressures.

We had our first son 3 weeks ago via cesarean, plus the wife was put under completely (and I could not be in the room during delivery, total bummer) and she also ventilated. This was all due to unrelated pre-existing medical complications and was done to protect mom and baby.

Delivery and recovery went well (my wife must have barbarian genetics as she was up and walking on day 2). All was good until the first day we arrived home, wife was taking a nap and my mother-in law: A.K.A "Mother Hen", started in with her opinions on formula. Now, understandably, my wife and I had not clarified that we were absolutely NOT going to give him formula (unless it was an emergency) and this topic was decided VERY early on in our relationship (we are talking 10+ years).

So while myself and Mother Hin where with my son in the living room while mom was sleeping, my son started to become fussy and crying. I went into burp and lower back rub mode (as I was instructed by the hospital lactation nurse/instructor). He burped, farted after going through the motions but was fussy the whole way through it. Yes my ears bled and it is very hard to hear my child cry like that but ultimately he quieted down a little. Few minutes later became fussy again. Then Mother Hin started to clucking at me, "he is hungry"..." he needs to eat"... "he dose not need burped again"... Then, it finally came out of her mouth... "HE NEEDS A BOTTLE OF FORMULA TO CALM HIM DOWN..."

I calmly took my son into the bedroom where mom was sleeping and woke her gently. Asked if she wanted to nurse him and she quickly got up and lovingly started to feed him. I then started to explain to my wife that her mother wanted to give him formula (that the hospital gave us for free by the boat loads) and that I wanted her to inform her mother that this was not what we wanted and that she needed to set some ground rules with Mother Hen.

Mother Hin started in on her "I gave formula to all my children and they turned out just fine" speech. She cut both of us off while we were trying to dictate to her how we felt on the matter; then, I raise my voice (started myself even in doing so) at Mother Hin and excused her from the room.

This action upset my wife, upset my Mother in-law and upset me and my son; who likely got less milk that he was already in need of due to her stress. Wow, what a terrible situation and buzz kill that set in over the next three weeks that were supposed to be wonderful stress free "Walt Disney" like atmosphere we had worked to hard prepared and offer our precious new son when he entered our home.

Mother Hen was protecting her daughter, I was protecting my son. We were both in the right and a little wrong but we both could have avoided it by simply laying out ground rules in advance.

Needless to say we never did give in to the "quick and easy formula bottle when baby got a little fussy". Nor did we give into the "quick and easy bottle to get baby to sleep or go back to sleep" methodology that Mother Hen still swears by and will continue to do so until this very day...

Moral of the story, encourage mothers and fathers who are due to advise EARLY ON to their family members, care givers and most importantly, their Mother or Mother in-law how you intend for them to care for your infant child.

Personally, I consider Formula the equivalent of adult Coca-Cola but for infants. These profit mongers are prescribing new parents to use Formula via warm and fuzzy commercials just to make a buck off the back of mothers who only get 6 weeks for maternity leave (shame on our society for that).

Thanks for listening
-Dad

[Elisabeth]

6 weeks after giving birth I was admitted to the hospital with an infection requiring iv antibiotics. To my utter dismay, the hospital staff would not allow me to bring my daughter with me. At 11 pm in the evening they forced me to stop breastfeeding, not because the drugs I was to receive were non-compatible (most drugs are fine with breastfeeding by the way, with the exception of chemotherapy) but due to a hospital policy, no kids allowed in wards!!!
I thought I was going to explode. This is London, 2013, despite recommendations from WHO, their own doctors and midwives.
I had struggled big time with breastfeeding at the start. Bleeding, cracked nipples made me cry every feed. I was exhausted out of this world. I am used to working night shifts in the ER but this exhaustion was 100x worse than the worst set of night shifts! Yet, I persisted. I knew of all the benefits.
As a medical practitioner and a very strong will power, I argued my way. I happily continued fully breastfeeding to 6 months and still going strong. I have also filed an official complaint to the hospital which is now being processed. I really hope other mothers needing hospitalization will not be treated the way I was!

[Keller]

Can you provide some citations that disentangle the benefits of breastfeeding from socioeconomic status? I cannot find any. I am inclined to believe... Based on my reading of a lot of literature...that some short term breastfeeding may have medical benefits for all but that there is clear selection into long term breast feeding. Women who breastfeed long term are higher educated, have higher incomes etc which means they have better access to prenatal care, support systems, longer maternity leaves etc. Are there significant health differences among high ses babies who are formula fed vs breast fed? I don't think there is evidence yet to comprehensively answer this question but would love to see it if it exists!

[Ulla]

In Finland it is illegal to advertise formulas. In every formula package has to have a disclaimer.

I breastfed my son till he was 18 months. He actually stopped himself. But I think that I was too reaching my limit. But as long as it lasted it was easy way to feed him. No dirty dishes, no hassle. I could do other things at the same time and relax, example watch tv or read, listen music etc.