Adult privilege is exacerbated when children are a minority
Saturday, July 24, 2010 I'm sure you've all heard of white privilege and male privilege. But have you heard of adult privilege? Children are, generally, an oppressed group. They are not treated as equal human beings and are generally not afforded the same rights, respect or consideration as an adult. This is true, I think, pretty much anywhere in the world. However, could this problem be exacerbated when children truly are a small minority?
In Germany, the politicians say more children are needed. They have fairly generous parental leave and financial benefits for parents. But despite that, the birth rate remains extremely low at 1.4 births per woman and people aged 19 and under make up less than 1/5 of the population. There could be any number of reasons why people aren't having more children in Germany, but as the current title story in the German magazine Stern points out, one reason may be that children simply are not welcome. In the article Störfaktor Kind (Disruptive Child), the authors Uli Hauser and Frankziska Reich describe numerous situations where children are unwelcome in Germany. People complain about the noise children make at day cares, schools, playgrounds, in their own homes, and more. It is more and more difficult for people with families, especially large families, to find an apartment or home to rent because no one wants to have children as neighbours. It is difficult to get space for day cares and playgrounds allocated in development plans. Even where those spaces exist, neighbours complain and the time that kids have to run around and make noise ends up being curtailed to very specific hours of the day where they won't be disturbing a quiet breakfast, afternoon nap, afternoon coffee and cake, after work drink the garden, etc. According to the Stern article, UNICEF says that a large portion of 15 year olds in Germany feel like outsiders, uncomfortable, unwelcome or alone. This is no wonder when children and youth truly are in the minority, not only within their homes but also in the community.
In contrast, in South Asia, everyone has children. Lots and lots of children. In Pakistan, for example, the birth rate is 3.3 births per woman and almost half of the population is age 19 or under. A childfree German journalist who frequently travels in South Asia wrote an article called "Wie, Sie haben keine Kinder?!" ("What do you mean, you don't have children?") for the German news magazine Spiegel. He says that taxi drivers, vegetable sellers, security guards, and just about any stranger you come into contact with will ask you how many children you have. If you are married and have no children, they will ask prying questions to try to figure out what on earth is wrong (he advises people to lie and say that they have 6 children). The idea that someone may not want children or may be waiting to have children is unheard of and considered bizarre. This is because children are normal in Pakistan. People get married and they have children. It isn't generally considered a choice. Children are part of a marriage and part of society. As a result of being considered normal and being so numerous, my guess would be that children in those countries are not looked at as a disturbance like they are in many highly populated, low birth rate countries.
In Canada, where the birth rate is not much higher than Germany at 1.6 births per woman, I think we escape some of what Germany is going through and yet feel some other parts of it more heavily. I think because we have so much open space, there is room for children to run, play and be noisy in most parts of the country without disturbing others. That said, because those open (out of sight, out of hearing range, out of mind) spaces exist, I think there is a stronger tendency to want to have separate child spaces and to keep children out of adult spaces. This is seen, for example, in restaurants where children are not welcome or at family events where children are not included or are put at a separate kids table in a separate room. Adults do not want children to disrupt their adult fun and our society provides plenty of opportunity through day care, schools, babysitters, and more for children to be "put in their place."
Can't we all just get along?
There are certain segments of the adult population that I find loud and annoying. There are segments of the adult population that ask stupid questions and make ignorant remarks. There are segments of the adult population that create a ruckus and make a mess. There are segments of the adult population that do not act appropriately in public places. Yet these people are often "welcome", while children are not. Children certainly are loud at times, but so are adults. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that if I am being kept awake at a time when I should be sleeping, it is most likely a drunken adult and not a playing child who is keeping me up. I don't think it is possible to teach children how to act appropriately in public unless they are allowed to be in public. If we always shove them off into noise proof child spaces, they may have the very important opportunity to "just be kids", but they will not have the opportunity to learn through observation how people act in public and may just take their noisiness directly from the playgrounds right into the bars (as they come of age) and then out onto the streets, thereby disrupting my sleep and everyone else's with their shouts and music.
Let's let kids be kids, enjoy them being kids in an age-appropriate fashion, and invite them into our adult world where we can teach and model respect for others. They will not immediately act like adults, but if they have the opportunity to be in adult company at adult events, they will eventually learn. Once children are welcome in society, maybe people in countries like Germany that need young people badly to pay for the retirement and health care costs of the older segments of the population, will consider having more children.
Image credit: c@rljones on flickr
Data source: Birth rates and population pyramids from U.S. Census Bureau International Database.
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Reader Comments (44)
YES!
I hadn't really thought of it this way since so often I hear "POPULATION CONTROL!!!!" as the answer to our problems (population density/outgrowing the Earth, etc.).
We recently moved to a place with more open space so our ONE child could run around more freely. We have also noticed that the area in general is much more kid-friendly than our previous urban environment (we're more suburban now, but close to urban areas).
Very thoughtful, Annie. WTG.
I wrote http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/12/the-solutions-are-here/" rel="nofollow">a post a while ago about how while some of the things necessary for a place to be family- and child- (and therefore mother-)friendly are policy/government decisions, a lot are more about societal structure, or even more simply, and arguably more importantly, cultural attitudes.
I'm not sure whether I agree with Germany's desire for a higher growth rate, but I definitely agree with your assessment of how to make that happen in a way that would benefit children, parents, and the culture alike.
I think this exists in different communities in the US. Back in Iowa, people just had kids, and it was expected that kids would be around. I see much less of that since moving to the Orlando area.
This is absolutely not the experience I have had living in Baltimore. People are more likely to complain about dogs or unruly drunk people than kids.
Thank you, yes. I do notice that some people expect children to not be children, and some resent their presence even when the children are behaving. Like you, I've noticed that there are more adults being loud at inappropriately late hours.
Real life comes with disturbances. It's easy to blame children, but they're far from the only ones causing trouble.
I have noticed this as well. With 3 kids under 5y.o I find it more and more uncomfortable to go into public where there are not designated "kid spaces" which then helps to facilitate the problem. Vicious Circle.
I think it is a weird back to front world and I get so annoyed when kids are treated like second rate citizens. But so often it is the adults that are behaving appallingly and the kids are standing by learning from their example!!! I posted about our experiences here: http://www.se7en.org.za/2009/12/15/children-are-people-too-se7en-gripes
I think that certain kinds of adult privilege are exacerbated when children are a minority. But on the flip side, I think other kinds are actually minimized. When everyone had more children the amount of care and attention that we showed each child was reduced. Physical discipline was heavily employed, and we showed less concern for how other people treated their children. There was much less recourse if you beat your child, or if a child was orphaned, and so on. With few children, we place a LOT of value on each individual child and their physical and emotional well-being. Possibly not always for the better, I'll grant you, but it's well-meaning.
I do agree, though, that we are not accustomed to seeing children. I attended a conference (with an adult focus, yes) which a couple brought their happy, breastfed baby to. The cooing, gurgling noises disturbed some attendees and the couple were asked to leave. There was no understanding or tolerance amongst the predominantly child-free folks for normal baby sounds and behaviour. It's not clear to my mind whether bringing a baby into that space was a great idea, but it's just an extension of a very common attitude.
I don't think it's my children who pay the price for this attitude.. They would probably rather frequent 'kid-friendly' spaces, with their colourful decor, play equipment and horrible food. And they're pretty immune to the glares of the people who aren't enjoying their company. But I am a different story. I want and need to be able to navigate the world, and frequently I have my children with me. I can't just leave them alone while I run to the bank. So I think that parents really pay the price in a kid-unfriendly culture.
Just because some or even many children do not evidence verbal awareness or displeasure at being discriminated against, put down, and dominated doesn't mean they don't suffer along with their parents (and Amber - well put on how that plays out for many of us carers). Not to mention children internalize these attitudes and enforce this on their OWN children (or other peoples') once they are the parties with the "big stick" (domination strategies, etc). When I first started studying culture around parenting and children at first I naively thought it was only those without children who perpetuated these attitudes. Sadly, I see many parents and carers do as well.
The "baby at the meeting" thing - I read a story by Wendy Priesnitz regarding a Canadian member of Parliament who brought her young baby to a meeting. Her baby DIDN'T disturb anyone as it happened; yet there was still an angry backlash claiming she should not have been allowed to bring the child. People who want more child-free spaces will point to incidents of "disruptive" behavior (nevermind the reality that is spoken in this piece - "I don’t think it is possible to teach children how to act appropriately in public unless they are allowed to be in public" AND as this piece alludes to, many adults often are disruptive, rude, inappropriate, etc), but even when children *aren't* disruptive we are told they shouldn't be allowed in many, many places.
Speaking as a US parent, I believe the "disruptive" defense for putting kids "in their place" (as well as the "safety" bit - see mother and toddler kicked off a public transit bus for noise) are often mere red herring in a culture that, no matter what lip service it may pay to "what about the CHILDREN?!", truly doesn't treat children as valuable members of society deserving respect and protection - especially considering their vulnerable status. In other words, they really need us (grownups) to do better.
Anti-child sentiment is high in the US, so high many don't even see it; these attitudes include parents and carers as well as those without children. As a radical unschooler I find it amusing (and a bit sad) how many adults clamor for MORE child-less spaces. Many children are age-segregated and institutionalized for the majority of their waking hours and it's easy to find restaurants (pubs, bars, and in WA state, many restaurants after 9 PM that disallow kids) where you can avoid children; not to mention one can avoid children (or obnoxious adults) by staying home. I'm starting to believe the anti-kid vocalizations in our culture "make sense" considering as this article alludes to, the more you see segregation in your culture the more confirmation bias this affords that kids SHOULD or HAVE to be segregated.
I hadn't thought population and growth rate would be a huge factor in these attitudes, so this piece is giving me a few things to think about. Thanks for the post!
I wholeheartedly agree--I believe the root of the negative attitudes people tend to have towards children is that many adults have such unrealistic expectations of children and their development. Children should be exposed to a variety of experiences with adults and other children from an early age to help them learn appropriate behavior—see it being modeled.
However, adults also should understand that a 3 year old no matter how “well-behaved” will have moments of boisterous laughter or a spontaneous tantrum. Recently I was at a family restaurant and an older woman in an adjacent booth asked me to quiet down my happy, laughing 3 year old. I politely told her that if my child was creating a disturbance I would kindly accept her comment with a smile and nod—however, my child is smiling, happy and in her seat(!!) and this is a family style restaurant at 6pm so perhaps she should ask the waitress to move her.
What really stuck out for me in your post is the study that found a percentage of German 15 year olds, report feeling alienated in their community. Yes, there is typical teenage angst(I hate the world, the world hates me) but this sounds as though the world around them is unaccepting and unforgiving. When you look at the youth development model, connection to positive caring adults and feeling as though they are valued in their community is an important aspect of adolescent development. Germany may be creating more issues than the society bargains for if they don't start listing to this generation.
Forty Developmental Assets/Search-Institute
http://www.search-institute.org/developmental-assets
Great reading-thanks for the post!
Interesting.... I wonder how supportive German employers are of working parents? That might be a factor, too. Is it common to have a work/life balance policies where someone can leave at 2pm to pick up a sick child, as long as they are getting their work done... they won't have to take vacation time?
A co-worker, Janet, passed away the same day as my 2nd son was born so I had a funeral to go to when he was 5 days old. Of course I brought him with me and he had to be latched on pretty much through the entire service. I did get a number of dirty looks from people when he momentarily fussed but Janet's family was so happy I was there and that I brought the baby (not like I would have left him).
It made me very sad that some people thought that it was inappropriate for me to bring my child to this funeral. I understand that if he was older and trying to run around, disrupt things, that could have been seen as disrespectful at a funeral but this was a newborn! And I worked with Janet closely for 6 years... how could I not go?
I'm so tired of people hating children. :/ I am in fact thinking of making t-shirts for my younglings that say: Treat me with kindness. One day, your life may be in my hands.
@Rae
I have been to two deaths and a funeral with my babies and young children and in all cases the presence of the children/babies were such a wonderful thing and appreciated by the rest who were involved. My guess is Janet's family felt the same way - you gave them a wonderful blessing to have your baby there.
I guess in thinking about it I'm glad for my family and the way they welcome children. My kids were very involved in my dad's death at home with hospice care. I'm not saying all parents should do things the way we did them (I know there are many for whom death is a very uncomfortable experience and subject), but I've found children are such a wonderful thing even in the "big" or somber or very sad times.
Thanks for sharing your story, Rae.
I live in Tokyo and it is always interesting for me to watch the way Japanese society interacts with children. Japan has a very low birth rate, I think actually right now it is a negative birth rate, and the government is very concerned about the fact that people are not having children, or only having one. So there are a lot of government incentives to have children (even as a foreigner living, working and paying taxes here, those incentives apply). But people aren't getting married because of the economy and people generally don't tend to have children out of wedlock here. So far the birth rate has not changed despite the incentives.
Those that do have children are welcome to take them anywhere they want, as far as I can tell. I see young children and babies in nice restaurants, fancy department stores, and welcome at events that adults are invited to attend. The difference I notice the most though (as an American) is that their children are so well behaved. I rarely see a Japanese child scream loudly and uncontrollably, beg/pout/demand stuff, pull things off of shelves, run into things in department stores, break dishes at restaurants, or generally do the kind of things that make people secretly (or not so secretly) wish they weren't there. They aren't acting like miniature adults either, they play and run and yell and fall down and cry and all the normal stuff. But they seem highly aware of their surroundings and their impact there.
When I've spoken to my Japanese friends about this topic, their explanations are interesting. For example, when a child gets hurt in a park, it is the child's problem. Not the parents, not the neighborhood association's nor the city's responsibility (no one is going to sue if a kid falls off a piece of playground equipment and gets hurt). The first words that many parents here teach their kids are ones such as please and thank you, not "spoon and fork" type words that are so common to hear parents in America teaching their kids. When you have a child it is normal to stay at the hospital for at least five days for general adjustment and care, and commonly to spend quite a bit of time living with your parents during the early months for extra help. Children tend to enter some kind of day care quite early (as early as 6 months) but this is more for the socialization than for the parents ability to work (most mothers don't work outside of parenting). Often the mothers spend a lot of time at these kind of schools with their kids and the community seems quite close. Older people (and adults in general) appear to love children and I have been encouraged many times to have children so that Japan has more children (even though I am not Japanese and not planning on living here for the rest of my life). Children are loud and boisterous here, especially the middle school and high school kids, but no one seems to mind.
Japan also has a charter called "The Children's Charter". It's a bit long, so I'll just list the general principles:
The child is and shall be respected as a human being.
The child is and shall be given due regard as a member of society.
The child shall be brought up in a good environment.
My favorite part in the full text: All children shall be so guided that they may hold in common a spirit of love and sincerity and as good citizens devote themselves to the peace and culture of mankind.
Interesting. I live in Australia but have travelled quite a lot in the US. I found the US cities we've visited (San Francisco, LA, NY and Seattle) to be far more kid-friendly than here. Even in grumpy NY, people stood up on the subway to make space for my daughter and I to sit. People cooed over her everywhere we went. Restaurants had rows of high chairs and booster seats and colouring sheets.
Over here, it was a battle to get ONE seat on the bus for my daughter and I -- while I was pregnant! I drove in to daycare/work to avoid the issue for the last couple of months of my pregnancy. Kids are seen as a nuisance -- even well behaved ones like my daughter (usually). It's harder to get a rental property with kids too. And let's not even get started on the maternity leave arrangements...
Thank you for this post. I was just talking to my husband this weekend about my own childhood and how the feelings have spread into my life now.
As a child when visiting or being in public I had to act right, talk right, sit right, dress right...and to tell you the truth 'right' was a very hard thing to figure out.
Now I feel great anxiety when I need to take my children out and often find myself telling them how to behave (luckily I am learning fast to catch myself).
I would have to say that children are really looked down a pone by adults who have no children in New Zealand too (possibly not in all areas) and also adults look down on adults who want to care for their children and family, creating pressure in the work place. As an example my husband needing to take a day off work to look after not only the children but me too when we all got sick. His childless work partners where not impressed.
Thank you for sharing your experience in Japan, Liz. It is interesting to see how different children can be perceived in other countries with low birth rates. I think in addition to children being a minority, another aspect that probably leads to their oppression in Western countries is how individualistic people are. I know that Japanese people are more collectivist, so I'm sure that their ability to look at the whole and the common good, rather than just "me, me, me" helps as well.
Amber:
I agree that in the short-term, it is certainly you and not your children who pay the price for them being unwelcome in certain spaces. However, in the long term I think they do pay the price too, as they do not have as much opportunity to be socialized into broader society. If they are only ever part of the "kid" world, then that is what will influence the way that they act and carry themselves, their interests, their friends, etc. I think that all children benefit from being exposed to a wide variety of experiences and people and that isn't always possible at those places with the colourful decor, play equipment and horrible food.
I don't think Germany is looking for an explosive growth rate. Just enough to undo the stupidity of what they call the "generation contract", whereby the current workforce pays for the retirement/healthcare of the elderly. With people getting older and with the size of the workforce shrinking, that just isn't realistic anymore. If each generation had paid into its own retirement, rather than paid into the retirement of the generation ahead of them, then each generation would be able to live within its means. However, at this point they are looking at either having to overtax the young or underprovide for the elderly.
Mark Steyn talks about this in his book "America Alone" - why most of Western Europe has entered "death spiral" birth rates (so has Canada, America, interestingly has not).
The single best thing about living in Israel, I would say is that it is a culture that worships children. Everywhere you go with your kids, adults compliment them, smile at them, pick them up, play with them, talk to them. If you make a comment about how tiring parenting is, you'll inevitably hear the cliche "children are happiness". The idea of inviting people to something without their kids is more or less unheard of. Children call adults (including teachers) by their first names. They are encouraged to express themselves freely and do not have the fear of adults that we grew up with.
Children are simply part of mainstream society... so yes, most public places are noisy, messy and chaotic.
Every time we're back visiting Canada and I get looks if my kid yells in a store, or we walk into a restaurant and people look at me like I'm the grim reaper because I've got a child in my arms, I can't help but feel uncomfortable. How can that kind of an environment NOT be at least somewhat stifling for children. I think this is an excellent post - children aren't pets. They aren't a second-class group to be relegated to McDonalds and the jungle gym. They should be afforded the respect to be themselves (within age-appropriate limits, of course) and participate in life as it really is - not just a series of engineered-to-be-fun-for-x-year-olds experiences and babysitter at home in between.
Kelly:
I agree that anti-child sentiment is so high in some places that people don't even see it anymore. I find I have to even catch myself sometimes. I need to learn to loosen up and accept my kids being kids, rather than always jumping at my instinct to tell them to quiet down or stop running around. It is a challenge though, when so many places and so many people are so child unfriendly.
Just from personal experience I actually find Germany far more child friendly than Canada. I've read that Germans are more tolerant of having dogs in restaurants than children but perhaps this depends on the place because my experience in Berlin so far has been only positive. I know of many cafes that have great indoor and/or outdoor play areas for kids and I haven't yet been to one where I felt unwelcome with a baby or small child. There are lots and lots of fantastic playgrounds all over the city. Many sidewalks have sections for bike lanes and if there isn't a bike lane then you are officially allowed to bike with your child on the sidewalk making biking to the playground feel much less stressful. There are a huge variety of day cares that are well subsidized ensuring they are affordable for any income level. The maternity leave is also quite generous. I'm not sure how much more child friendly it could be. I think there must be other reasons that Germans as well as many other countries in the world aren't having more children. Italy also has one of the lowest birth rates in the Europe and yet I've always heard how much Italians love and welcome children.
frauflan:
I agree that Germany is more child friendly in a lot of ways than in Canada. The restaurant example is certainly one. We have found many restaurants, including upscale restaurants, that have play areas for children, kids menus, and that generally welcome children.
But at the same time, in our apartment building, there is a small child who is often out riding on his Bobby-car in the afternoon or early evening. I have heard multiple people, multiple times, yell out of their windows for him to be quiet. But when there are adults up having a party until late in the evening, no one yells about that.
I haven't run into a ton of situations personally in Germany where children are not tolerated, but the article in the Stern certainly had some very pointed examples of the difficulties that people run into and I found the selfishness of the people involved in those situations to be astounding.
I should have said "invasive" or "ever-present" or something... it's hard to explain just how steeped in "kids are second-class citizens" some cultures can be.
My kids are 6 and 8 and I'm still working hard on being a better parent and not kowtowing to social pressure (real and imagined) to have them behave conveniently. After all we don't expect 12 month old children to read - but some people expect 12 month old children to have adult "manners". Posts like this are great reminders what we're up against.
It's very true about the collectivism. I used to prefer the individualist spirit of America more than the collective mentality here, but now that I've been here a while I've found that the group mentality has a lot of really strong points and that the individualism mentality is actually really a drag on society, for the most part. However, I want my not-yet-born-children to think both independently and in a collective group, all while considering the betterment of their own person and the larger group. A challenge I'm sure it will be!
This just seems a massive overgeneralization and, frankly, trivializes the notion that certain minority groups around the world are truly oppressed. Separately, although I have found many people - let's say on an airplane with a particularly upset 5 month old of mine, to be upset with the notion that such a child has dared to deafen them with his unexpected ear pressure problem, these instances are usually somewhat understandable. Much more often, I encounter people who smile, fawn and generally spread tons of love to my baby. And, I am grateful for them. Maybe these same people will scoff at my child when he grows into a toddler with low self-control, but I also see myself as responsible for teaching him how to interact with society in a developmentally-sensitive, but generally appropriate manner. I find that I appreciate the fact that a parent might recognize if their child is misbehaving and respond kindly, but firmly to them about how to better interact with the world, even if that child's behavior temporarily annoyed me. But, maybe that's just me.
Beanergirl:
"I find that I appreciate the fact that a parent might recognize if their child is misbehaving and respond kindly, but firmly to them about how to better interact with the world, even if that child’s behavior temporarily annoyed me. But, maybe that’s just me."
I think the problem with that approach is that it assumes we all have the same opinion about what is considered misbehaving. I think there are plenty of instances where children are acting appropriately (for their age and circumstances), but where other people still get annoyed by their behaviour.
Another thing that I see happening in low birth-rate countries is the devaluing of the work of parenting, especially mothering. When more and more women have successful careers, they are less willing to give those up in order to have kids, and they tend to go back to work sooner and put their kids in daycare. This contributes to the age-segregation and all the issues you outlined that go along with that. Along with looking down on the noise & neediness of children, there seems to be an attitude that looks down on a woman's choice to stay at home with her children. I know I have felt this in Canada.
Very good point Michelle.
I think alienated youth may be the result of age segregation.
Annie, Pakistan would be in South Asia. In South East Asia, the current trend is showing declining total fertility rates (Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia). In urban SEA, women are getting married at later ages and are having fewer children. BUT, overall, I do find that the society in South East Asia is relatively much more child friendly than in places like Australia. And I second Liz's and your comments on collectivism as playing a major part.
I grew up in Jakarta, Indonesia, and am now living in Canberra, Australia, with my two young children. Even though Jakarta is a big polluted cosmopolitan city with limited open spaces for children, I found that Jakartans are very accommodating and friendly to children. In general, they are very tolerant to the noises children make in public places, the crying, the behaviour, the running around. Whenever I visit Jakarta, I never ever once feel uncomfortable taking my children anywhere. To weddings, markets, restaurants, hotel lobbys, etc.
In contrast, here in Canberra, I often feel uptight bringing my children to sit down restaurants, and I know other mothers who have been 'asked' to please 'control' their child at coffee shops etc.
It is true that cities in the 'West' offer, let's say, child-friendly environment (clean air, water etc), and physical infrastructure (playground, sports oval, bike tracks) than urban centres in South East Asia. But often, I personally feel that this also cause some sort of segmentations as to where you should and should not take a young child.
katadia:
You are correct. My mistake. I edited the post.
Great post.
Here via @VDog's RT, this week. ;)
That is true! I once saw a mother with a baby in a store (before I even had kids). The baby was babbling away, very cute! The mother kept shushing it, and made a comment about how "fussy" she was that day. It did NOT sound anything like fussing to me, the child was clearly "talking". But, different perceptions I guess. Maybe people had been giving her dirty looks?
Today I was in a pediatrician's office, and my boys were playing nicely, but a wee bit loudly. I kept thinking the receptionist was going to shush them (maybe that was only my impression though), even though we were the only ones there, so the only person they might have been bothering was her (and I figure, occupational hazard!) She did in fact tell my toddler to sit on his bum not stand on the chair, even though I'd already told him that myself and was just waiting for him to comply. Then the doctor himself told my kids, after one asked a question, that they had to be "absolutely quiet" while we spoke. Granted, they need to work on not interrupting :P but they are also only 3 and 6, and both big talkers. Sitting absolutely quietly -- not gonna happen. And again, in his line of work he hasn't dealt with more disruptive kids than mine (or at least AS disruptive)? Hmmm...
You know though, I appreciate that many people know themselves well enough to choose to remain childless for whatever reason, despite pressure many get from from parents, ILs, friends etc. I mean, most people know as soon as you're in a relationship, people start to ask when you are getting married. When you get married, people ask when you are going to have kids....Not everyone should have children.
(I especially appreciate it when people that are actually anti-child don't have them. I do however agree they should remember, someone else's kids will be caring for them one day.)
Everyone says pay-as-you-go pension schemes are the root of Europe's reproductive ills, but I dunno. Last I heard, fertility rates were dropping like a rock even in places like Iran. Not sure what to blame it on? Maybe cities are just a big fat population sinkhole. I have four kids and can hardly imagine having to raise them all in.... Seattle. Or Tokyo. Not even Oklahoma City. lol
I think this is more why there are low birth rates. Parents choose to have fewer children, later in order to pursue career and have an easier life. Also, once it starts it probably builds on itself: People with more childless friends or small families follow the herd.
I would be surprised if any government social programs are close to fully funded by the generation receiving them. If you assume that population always grows or stays the same then you don't have to fund, just tax the next generation or borrow and let them pay it back. It becomes a big problem when the next generation is smaller.
We might even call it smart for the older generation to reap big benefits while pushing all the cost on the great-grand-children. The Canadian elderly did a good job of that too! Too bad the pyramid probably topples eventually. Some generation is going to hit a decade or two of hard times as all the environmental, health-care and retirement bills come due and are too big to roll over.
[...] that she at least got her adultist viewpoint out in the open right at the start of the article. She goes on to say [emphasis [...]
[...] that she at least got her adultist viewpoint out in the open right at the start of the article. She goes on to say [emphasis [...]
This article offers fantastic perspective! I recently moved from a city in Southern Canada to a small northern Canadian community. I have three young children and my husband and I run a foster home, so we have up to 9 children at times. We are welcome everywhere in this community, events at the church, talks at the college, and many other things that I would have previously thought to be "child free". In our Southern community, younger brothers and sisters were not welcome at the elementary school but here siblings are encouraged to join in. And the parents are different too, less emphasis on activities without the kids and more time spent in family activities. I love it and don't see myself moving anytime soon!
Excellent put up, very informative. I wonder why the opposite experts of this sector do not understand this. You must proceed your writing. I’m confident, you have a huge readers’ base already!