Wednesday
Nov192008
Double the babies, double the work, double the leave?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
In Canada, parents can take up to one year of leave after a baby is born. That includes 17.5 weeks of maternity leave for the birth mother (and 5 weeks of paternity leave for the father in Quebec), as well as an additional 32 weeks of parental leave that can be taken by the mother, the father, or shared by both. If it is shared, they can take it concurrently (take 16 weeks off together) or they can take it successively (e.g. mother takes 16 weeks, then father takes 16 weeks or some other combination).
However, the amount of leave that you get does not change depending on the number of babies that you have at the same time. That means that parents of twins or other multiples get the same benefits as parents of a single child. They don't get to have both parents stay home for the whole year, they don't get to have one parent take two years off. Essentially, the program treats a single birth and a multiple birth the same way.
An Ottawa couple that is expecting twins is fighting this policy. They believe that twice as many babies means twice as much work and twice as much need by the babies for parental bonding time. They would both like to be able to take a year of leave concurrently so that the mother does not have to care for both of the babies on her own while her husband is at work. In Alberta, a Calgary mother of triplets is also lobbying for a change to the way that multiple births are treated. The Multiple Birth Families Association of Ottawa and Multiple Births Canada are supporting their cause.
I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree that they should be given equal benefits, meaning that both parents should be able to take leave if they have multiples. However, I did hear Christian Martin (the Ottawa father-to-be) on the radio this morning and heard him talking about how all of his wife's time would be taken up with bottles, diapers, putting babies to bed, etc. and that when she is tending to one, she wouldn't be able to tend to the other. This is where I beg to differ and wanted to offer up some resources that could help them. I am not a mom of twins, but I do know moms of twins and have heard a lot about the things that can help.
Those are just a few resources that I'm aware of. I'm sure there are plenty of others and maybe some of my twin mama readers will chime in with comments on other great places to go or tips.
I was on maternity leave with a baby while caring for a toddler, so I do understand the challenge of trying to care for more than one child at once and I can say that I would have gone insane if I had to deal with bottles and if I had to put my baby down every time I needed to do something for my toddler. It just would not have worked. All this to say, attachment parenting can take some of the burden of caring for two babies away and allow you to bond with both.
However, the amount of leave that you get does not change depending on the number of babies that you have at the same time. That means that parents of twins or other multiples get the same benefits as parents of a single child. They don't get to have both parents stay home for the whole year, they don't get to have one parent take two years off. Essentially, the program treats a single birth and a multiple birth the same way.
An Ottawa couple that is expecting twins is fighting this policy. They believe that twice as many babies means twice as much work and twice as much need by the babies for parental bonding time. They would both like to be able to take a year of leave concurrently so that the mother does not have to care for both of the babies on her own while her husband is at work. In Alberta, a Calgary mother of triplets is also lobbying for a change to the way that multiple births are treated. The Multiple Birth Families Association of Ottawa and Multiple Births Canada are supporting their cause.
I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree that they should be given equal benefits, meaning that both parents should be able to take leave if they have multiples. However, I did hear Christian Martin (the Ottawa father-to-be) on the radio this morning and heard him talking about how all of his wife's time would be taken up with bottles, diapers, putting babies to bed, etc. and that when she is tending to one, she wouldn't be able to tend to the other. This is where I beg to differ and wanted to offer up some resources that could help them. I am not a mom of twins, but I do know moms of twins and have heard a lot about the things that can help.
- Breastfeeding and Attachment Parenting Twins: This site hasn't been updated in a while (the author is probably too busy with her twins!), but it does contain a wealth of resources and links related to parenting twins.
- Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins or More: This is a great book by La Leche League with valuable information on breastfeeding and attachment style parenting of multiples.
- Breastfeeding twins: There are a few good sites that can help, including the City of Ottawa's Breastfeeding Twins info, Dr. Sears Breastfeeding Twins, Multiple Birth Families Excellent Article and Images on Breastfeeding Multiples, and About.com's Info in Breastfeeding Twins.
- Babywearing twins: Being able to wear one baby while caring for the other (e.g. bathing, changing) or wearing both at once means that you don't have to stop caring for one twin in order to care for the other. Some great resources on babywearing twins include The Babywearer's article on Babywearing with Twins and Multiples and Peppermint.com's images and ideas on twin babywearing or stop by Ottawa's Milkface and talk to owner Britt who is herself a mother of twins.
Those are just a few resources that I'm aware of. I'm sure there are plenty of others and maybe some of my twin mama readers will chime in with comments on other great places to go or tips.
I was on maternity leave with a baby while caring for a toddler, so I do understand the challenge of trying to care for more than one child at once and I can say that I would have gone insane if I had to deal with bottles and if I had to put my baby down every time I needed to do something for my toddler. It just would not have worked. All this to say, attachment parenting can take some of the burden of caring for two babies away and allow you to bond with both.
Reader Comments (7)
I think a lot of women assume that breastfeeding twins will be too difficult, so they don't even try. Slings, to me, are just a necessary accessory for all parents. How do you get anything done in the early weeks without one?
I am not sure how I feel about parents of multiples getting even more parental leave, but maybe that is because I am in the US and feel your leave policy is so generous and awesome that I can't see how anyone could complain! Plus, it's not like multiples are a rare occurrence anymore. We all know someone who's had multiples because of fertility treatments. I think because they are so common it might be too much of a burden on employers/government to offer this extra leave.
@Elita
Thanks for your comment. I don't think of it as "extra" leave. If the same parents had two singletons, then they would get to go on leave twice. But if they have twins, only one of them gets to go on leave and only for the same amount of time as they would if they only had one baby. The way that I look at it, at the moment they are only getting half of the leave that other parents of 2 children would get.
I am in awe that these are items being fought over concerning leave after birth! When I say awe, I mean it in the wistful way that one day the US will catch up and move past the 6 weeks (if that for many) that is in place. Oh to dream :)
I am not a parent of multiples or multiple children but I feel inclined to agree that breastfeeding and attachment parenting helps tremendously. During my 2.5 months at home with my daugher, doing both felt like a natural extenion of myself. Perhaps a bit different--as walking around with a pregnant belly--but not forced or undesirable.
Being comfortable to nurse in public was reaching nirvana for me. I came to the realization that I only had to take baby and go. The only reason my diaper bag was bulky was because of cloth diapering! In fact, I find cd'ing also greatly helpful. There were never late night trips out to the store for something our daughter "needs" because I can produce it biologically, share from our plates, or wash it in my machine. The emphasis of our time is spent enjoying our daugher vs. doing the "chores" of parenthood.
@phdinparenting: you have overlooked the fact, however, that parents who have children sequentially rather than as multiples are only eligible for the EI leave a second time if they have returned to work long enough to qualify again. Therefore, shouldn't the qualifying rules for twins be different? Perhaps requiring the parents to have worked double the qualifying period?
I'm a bit of a fence sitter on this issue so far, until I read more about it becuase it is somewhat unfair that parents of multiples get the same amount of leave. However, I'm not sure double is really fair or feasible for all those parents who don't have multiples.
I heard the Ottawa father-to-be interviewed on teh radio yesterday and foudn some of his logic flawed, as well. One of his arguments was that the multiple birth infants have a Charter right to the same level of care in their first year of life as single children do, and that babies' shoudl have access to one-to-one care and twins will suffer developmentally if they don't have it. But by that right, then any couple who has a second (or subsequent) child after the first should also be entitled to have both parents off -- because the infant who has an older sibling at home would have their chart rights infringed upon as they would not be receiving the same level of care. I also don't agree that twins are double the work. MORE work, yes .. DOUBLE, no. I mean, if you're throwing in a load of diapers it's the same amount of work to do a small versus a large load, etc.
Ack! Just re-read what I wrote and noticed how many typos I made! I'm clearly suffering from some mommy brain tonight!
@Marianne: I agree that the parents would need to have sufficient qualifying time to get the leave. However, in this case since they want the mom and the dad to take time off at the same time (one for each child), then assuming they had each qualified, there shouldn't be a problem.
At the moment, if a couple had a baby and mom stayed home for a year and also got pregnant right away again and had her second baby right at the end of her initial leave period, she would not get more leave, but her husband could take a year off with the second baby as long as he had enough qualifying time.
I don't see why it matters whether the babies come at the same time or come successively.
[...] wrote about a couple who were having twins where both mom and dad wanted to take parental leave. In double the babies, double the work, double the leave, I wrote: In Canada, parents can take up to one year of leave after a baby is born. That includes [...]